I think for me it bothers me in that I'm somewhat lonelier than I would wish to be.nid like to have more friends able to converse on what I consider arrogantly or otherwise to be my level.
Barty is perfectly capable of being deeply earnest and afectionate.
If you look at the stuff he was doing in the early 00s you'll see I was a very good influence on Craner. And I was a good influence on mark fisher too but they all disavowed me in favour of growing up. Maybe other people do have to grow up eventually and only I get to/have to stay like this forever.
One of the things I really cherish about Barty is that he hates seeing me drunk. He's like a good girlfriend in that respect. He likes seeing me at my best and anything else distresses him. That's useful to me. I dont need enablers.i hate that aspect of male friendship.
I have a memory of coming back from the toilet a very drunk luke telling Simon Reynolds in all seriousness “everything Barty [he calls me that in real life] says is a lie”. He didn’t notice I was there and poor old Simon looked horrified when he saw me. Eyes all wide like deer in the headlights.