Corpsey

bandz ahoy
I definitely need to start doing all the midlife crisis health stuff cos currently my body isn't fit for purpose.

Younger me didn't give a fuck about 35 year old me but now I AM 35 year old me and it's like being perpetually hungover.
 

Corpsey

bandz ahoy
Always got a cold. Always tired. Farting. Shitting something too hard, or too liquid, or too meagre. Can't be bothered to go out. Lie on the bed, watching documentaries on iPlayer. Add another book to the unread pile. Sentimental memories of idealised youth.

And I'm 34 FFS
 

luka

Well-known member
Corpsey I hate to be a rationalist but isn't the reason you feel like that the fact you have had cocaine binges and mixed ecstasies with large volumes of alcohol very recently and you're still fucked. The after effects of that sort of behaviour can last weeks and weeks, possibly months particularly when it's cold and wet and miserable.
 

sadmanbarty

Well-known member
corpsey's spent the whole of his thirties willing himself into middle age.

not in a craner sense of wanting to be a distinguished silver fox, but in a sense of having achey knees, bowl troubles and regrets.
 

luka

Well-known member
At your age you're unlikely to get away with it. As your medical doctor/spiritual guide I prescribed an ascetic November. Stick to taking the psychedelics and never mix them with alcohol. Don't smoke weed it'll just make you lethargic and irritable. Ditch all your friends. Give me all your Worldly Posessions.
 

sadmanbarty

Well-known member
corpse has two options.

either you go for the barty of option of sex-medication in which female affirmation cures all your mental ills and anguishes or you go for the luke option of strict disciplinarian spiritual workout routine.

the first requires getting over some nerves while the latter requires you not to succumb to your impulses so easily. they're small changes to make, but are highly rewarding.

pick one jack.
 

luka

Well-known member
corpse has two options.

either you go for the barty of option of sex-medication in which female affirmation cures all your mental ills and anguishes or you go for the luke option of strict disciplinarian spiritual workout routine.

the first requires getting over some nerves while the latter requires you not to succumb to your impulses so easily. they're small changes to make, but are highly rewarding.

pick one jack.

 

yyaldrin

in je ogen waait de wind
don't underestimate winter though. it makes everybody feel horrible and some are especially susceptible to it. in summer you'll be drinking pints with ben ufo again and feeling like a bossman.
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
At your age you're unlikely to get away with it. As your medical doctor/spiritual guide I prescribed an ascetic November. Stick to taking the psychedelics and never mix them with alcohol. Don't smoke weed it'll just make you lethargic and irritable. Ditch all your friends. Give me all your Worldly Posessions.

Excellent advice here, especially the last sentence.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
Bowl trouble is the most middle-aged thing I've heard of, I knew we were indisputably at that point when we left Ikea the other day and my girlfriend said "I'm really excited about our new saucepans". I guess the twinge it caused in me when I heard that was the last spasm of some long dead nerve.
 

craner

Beast of Burden
Bowl trouble is the most middle-aged thing I've heard of, I knew we were indisputably at that point when we left Ikea the other day and my girlfriend said "I'm really excited about our new saucepans". I guess the twinge it caused in me when I heard that was the last spasm of some long dead nerve.

I honestly misread that as "bowel trouble" to begin with, which made the rest of the post interesting.
 

Leo

Well-known member
don't underestimate winter though. it makes everybody feel horrible and some are especially susceptible to it. in summer you'll be drinking pints with ben ufo again and feeling like a bossman.

shorter hours of sunlight have an affect on me. harder to get up in the morning when it's still dark outside, and feel less inclined to go out and socialize when it's cold and dark again at 5:00 pm.

christ, had to run three-and-a-half blocks to catch a train yesterday and honestly thought I was going to die. my legs actually hurt, was limping a bit afterwards, muscles still slightly sore this morning. I often walk 5-6 miles on a Saturday or Sunday, so not a total blob but a three-minute jog to the station felt lethal. then again, I am a old bastard.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
I honestly misread that as "bowel trouble" to begin with, which made the rest of the post interesting.
I'm pretty sure that the person I was quoting meant to say bowel trouble. It's a classic mistake... my favourite was the advert for an all-comers "Open bowels tournament".
 

yyaldrin

in je ogen waait de wind
i've been realizing this week that my hair is getting thinner and thinner and that i'm slowly (yet also so quickly) getting bald. :(
 
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