Do not read this.
Well that is the best way to describe it in my opinion.

I was asked on the 1st time I played out if I would play a CD that some guy was dead intent on listening to. When I said “mate, I cant, honestly, I already have stuff” he was like “don’t worry, it’s mixed”

Skipple was asked to play lady gaga in the same venue a week later.

Anyone else have some goodens>?


heavy heavy monster sound
Me and a mate were asked to play a fetish club once, we were providing the music for the 'playroom', and we spent ages designing what to do for the night - it was a good gig, we thought - only for the lady owner to come over to us about an hour in and go "Our customers have asked that you play what they usually 'play' to" and gave us a CD of, y'know, trance greatest hits which we then had to play on a loop all night.

We still got paid, but had the weird experience of standing over this mix CD that was playing, not knowing whether we should be pretending to DJ or not.

People are really weird.
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Best response I heard was "Come on mate, give me a break, I don't knock the dick out of your mouth when you're working".

john eden

male pale and stale
A girl at one of my house parties asking Paul Meme if he could play something "danceable" ha ha.

Pissed bloke trying to impress his girlfriend by dissing my reggae selection: "oh this isn't very good, you should play some, er, Channel One stuff!" He fucked off when I pointed out that's what was actually playing.

john eden

male pale and stale
It's all good though - if you don't want nutters or people with strange requests, stick to playing tunes in your bedroom, says I!

Martin Dust

Techno Zen Master
Djing in club in Cardiff a few years back, decided to drop a few classics to warm the crowd up and get the girls dancing. Bosh into an edit of Inner City and someone walks up and gives me the following note:


Martin Dust

Techno Zen Master
Talking of notes, we did a gig with The British Murder Boys in Nottingham, Tony was playing some Whitehouse and Karl was screaming over the top. Up walks a little girl with a note that says play something more extreme!

Tentative Andy

I'm in the Meal Deal
Don't heckle but I've gotten to be quite good at directing an ominous wince at the DJ when they clang a mix, and pulling an 'I'm not angry, I'm just dissapointed' face/pose when they play a tune I hate. Only do these when I've been dragged to a night by friends and would really rather be somewhere else.


Way of the future
I've gotten the "if you play x/y/z I'll get laid tonight" a couple of times, I never do play said tune even if it would fit into my set, if you need the dj to help you pull you don't deserve it!


party record with a siren
A bloke doing an intricate "I'm loading a shotgun, aiming it at you and shooting" mime when I played Rick James.

Another bloke stood stock still in the middle of the dancefloor staring at me and doing the "I'm gonna slit your throat" mime... but that didn't seem to be a reaction to a particular tune, since it went on all night and he did it to other DJs too.

Had a bloke shouting "It's Friday! It's 7:30! It's Top Of The Pops!" when I played Flat Beat.

"You're giving this town a bad reputation" from a girl who'd dragged her bored mates to the wrong type of club.


there are no accidents
there have been cases, however unusual, 1 out of 100, where requests are pretty spot on and I'm like "oh hey yeah, thanks for reminding me!"

like last weekend after about 4 hours of afro-dutch-uk house at 3AM someone said "how about some dubstep?" i was like my pleasure! :D

Tentative Andy

I'm in the Meal Deal

Also priceless. I especially like the wedding-disco requests for Toni Braxton's He Wasn't Man Enough and Kelis' I Hate You So Much Right Now. :D

Edit: Even better one I just spotted...

Random Chick: Can you play Kanye West “Gold Digger?”
Dan: No, I absolutely will not play that song
Random Chick: Why not?
Dan: This is a wedding, I’m not going to play that song at a wedding.

(5 minutes later…the BRIDE walks up)

Bride: Can you play “Gold Digger?!”
Dan: Ma’am, you know once I play a song, I can’t un-play it.
Bride: I know, but I really want to hear it!
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Tight but Polite
I quite like the way that people at dubstep nights sometimes shout "play some dubstep" because either
a) the DJ is playing entirely wobble or
b) the DJ isn't playing entirely wobble.

Ha ha ha. I particularly like the ones where you want to slap both of the people involved:

* drunk girl: can you play 'Damn It Feels Good To Be a Gangster'? (by the Ghetto Boys)
* dj: is a St. Patrick's day party
* drunk girl: (while 'Flogging Molly' is playing) but you're not even playing Irish music
* dj: (letting that idiotic comment go) ok, if you can name one other Ghetto Boys song, maybe I'll play your request
* drunk girl: who the hell are the Ghetto Boys? is that what you're playing now? because it sucks...
* dj: please leave

* dude: got any Jurassic Five?
* dj: it's a Brit pop night tonight, so it wouldn't really fit in
* dude: ok, what about Nirvana?
* dj: Nirvana are American
* dude: oh, I see. then how about The Smashing Pumpkins?
* dj: ....


Chtonic Fatigue Syndrome
Not really funny but a cool memory.
A few years back Benga played in Newcastle, and at one point the speakers cut out. That very second a quickfire local shouted "YOU FUCKED UP!". Everyone laughed, including Benga, and it was a touching moment.


Chtonic Fatigue Syndrome
On that site: "While DJ is mashing up MIA ‘Paper Planes’ and ‘Got Money’ by Lil Wayne"

I believe that's what they call a self-pwn.