grizzleb
Well-known member
I do that every weekend. (fuck my sleeping patterns I mean) When I'm off on holiday for long stretches I end up back where I started after taking the sleep out of phase.
Are you an owl or a lark?
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I do that every weekend. (fuck my sleeping patterns I mean) When I'm off on holiday for long stretches I end up back where I started after taking the sleep out of phase.
that is an interesting point... how much of hooking up is physical desire (i.e i am horny) and how much is ego gratification (i.e. make me feel special/attractive)?
nomadthethird
more issues than Time mag
Heh where did you get those chats? That's hilarious.
That's why when people who are anti-sex work get all righteous about it based on the imaginary fact that the men who see sex workers are all basically frat boys who entertain alarming sexist notion about women, I'm usually thinking, oh really? Most of those guys have no dignity or pride or self-confidence or social skills whatsoever. The stereotype of the guy who sees a sex worker is so off kilter from the reality: it's not a bunch of swaggering 18-year-old boys, it's usually really awkward 40-year-old men who are supremely grateful about it all in any case.
Of course, there is always the occasional delusional loon who thinks it's all real and the worker really wants him- which is, I think, a form of egotism and a defense mechanism on his end- but after enough times draining their bank account and still going home alone they'll tend to get the picture.
(Then they tend to get bitter: you spend all this money on women and they don't even want you back! What whores! Bingo, buddy. These are the guys who think that "getting a woman" should be as easy as paint-by-numbers chocolates and rose purchases, however. So they're bound to be disappointed in life and love.)
That's why when people who are anti-sex work get all righteous about it based on the imaginary fact that the men who see sex workers are all basically frat boys who entertain alarming sexist notion about women, I'm usually thinking, oh really? Most of those guys have no dignity or pride or self-confidence or social skills whatsoever. The stereotype of the guy who sees a sex worker is so off kilter from the reality: it's not a bunch of swaggering 18-year-old boys, it's usually really awkward 40-year-old men who are supremely grateful about it all in any case.
Of course, there is always the occasional delusional loon who thinks it's all real and the worker really wants him- which is, I think, a form of egotism and a defense mechanism on his end- but after enough times draining their bank account and still going home alone they'll tend to get the picture.
(Then they tend to get bitter: you spend all this money on women and they don't even want you back! What whores! Bingo, buddy. These are the guys who think that "getting a woman" should be as easy as paint-by-numbers chocolates and rose purchases, however. So they're bound to be disappointed in life and love.)
baboon2004
Darned cockwombles.
I would have imagined (tho I don't know) that a lot of men who use prostitutes are married.
As to Swears' point, one-way desire is a major turn-off, agreed. As an addendum to that, so are cases where you know the attraction is based upon something false/fetishistic. Most people (everyone) get turned on by someone wanting them (whatever that actually means), which is, I think, why separating sex and affection is so complex. Which is why really good-looking people are often unhappy (hardly anyone can see past their looks).
Did anyone link to this?: http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/jan/15/why-men-use-prostitutes
Some of it is very interesting.
As to Swears' point, one-way desire is a major turn-off, agreed. As an addendum to that, so are cases where you know the attraction is based upon something false/fetishistic. Most people (everyone) get turned on by someone wanting them (whatever that actually means), which is, I think, why separating sex and affection is so complex. Which is why really good-looking people are often unhappy (hardly anyone can see past their looks).
Did anyone link to this?: http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/jan/15/why-men-use-prostitutes
Some of it is very interesting.
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baboon2004
Darned cockwombles.
What, by sucking one' s cock too vigorously? I know, I hate that.
But seriously, while it is true that some things can be excessive, I think often people aren't comfortable with someone who is excessively clear, because they don't think they are good enough to receive such overt attention. of course, it entirely depends what you are thinking of in terms of excessive clarity.
grizzleb
Well-known member
Yeah that's what I mean. It's definitely to do with
a lack of self worth/esteem I think.
nomadthethird
more issues than Time mag
Most men who see prostitutes are married, yes. But that doesn't mean they aren't socially awkward.
swears
preppy-kei
Well, that's one idea that's cheered me up today.
grizzleb
Well-known member
From my experience I think these are exactly the people that are expected to use sex workers by anti-sex work peeps. It's more a case of that's even worse for the woman that they are forced to have sex with these people who can't have sex 'normally' and so don't deserve to have it at all. It's from these people that the constant threat of immediate violence comes (when infact they're probably just painfully shy and horny). I think that's how it is viewed at any case.
nomadthethird
more issues than Time mag
No, it's true. My brother's fiancee is one of those ridiculously good looking people who gets slack-jawed stares wherever she goes. (She's Polish and Native American and has bright green eyes and very dark skin...she's like a prettier version of Lisa Edelstein) And she has the best body I've ever seen in my life. (My brother's this huge doofy obnoxious guy, I don't know how he ended up with her. She told me she likes him because he's smart! Which really made me chuckle. Anyway...)
Just from interacting with them and traveling with them and going on random outings with her, I can seriously say I'm glad I'm not a gorgeous person. I have never seen anyone get treated more like a subhuman piece of human trash than she does, and by people who don't know her in the least, men and women. Eventually she even started dressing really plainly and covering up and it still doesn't work so well for her. But then I can tell she feels pressure to *always* be the best looking person in the room. She's so used to being looked at I think she's always performing being superhot, without even really trying.
grizzleb said:
Women are more likely to be sexually assaulted and/or raped and/or assaulted by their own husbands or boyfriends or friends or relatives than they are anyone else, I'm afraid. But anyway, there's a difference between strippers and hookers, when it comes to clientele. Strippers are less stigmatized than hookers, so it's a social activity that's partaken in by your average businessmen ex-frat boys, and just average guys of all types. The better targets are the ones who really need to go to hookers, though, because they're more likely to be "customers for life"...
grizzleb
Well-known member
Yeah I agree, it wasn't my viewpoint - more just relating what I've heard from others. Edit - what do you mean by better targets? Genuine question btw, I'm probably not reading you correctly.
swears
preppy-kei
Hmmm... I always pretend like I haven't seen really pretty girls. I think it's because I want them to think I'm over it or something, haha.
grizzleb
Well-known member
Everyone has their cross to bear innit? Can say the same with loads of stuff which at first glance looks like 'luck'.
nomadthethird
more issues than Time mag
You can make more money off 'em if you're a sex worker.
baboon2004
Darned cockwombles.
Yeah, it can be cheering! But, to be honest, some of them are my friends, and that's how I've come to know just how unhappy-making it can be, having loads of people worship you without even bothering to see you as you are. So that makes me sad.
i think i often do that, it's probably just as obvious as staring in some ways when you're trying overly hard to not look at someone.