john eden

male pale and stale
it's really hard, and i mean this, being a teacher and a leader. trying to strike the balance between encouragement and censoriousness. when to say, keep going, you're getting there, and when to say that's not good enough.

It totally is.

And don’t get me wrong, because you’re great, but nobody here has asked you to fill that role?

Also I genuinely have no idea if Barty is 23 or not but if he is that’s cool. He still gets it both barrels from me though. He’s a grown up and probably has great skin and hangovers that last 10 minutes. He can take it.

I’m pushing 50 and I’m so glad there were people compassionately knocking blocks off me when I was 23.
 

luka

Well-known member
nobody here has asked you to fill that role?

not in actual words admittedly. there was a void and i noticed it was, coincidentally, the same shape as me,
so i filled it.
 

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
it's all very well you lot having a pop at barty when you feel there's safety in numbers but hes 23
and youre in your 40s and surely it doesnt make you feel good about yourself?

i find it a bit embaressing to see that tbh. obviously i do respect eden i think he has genuine moral authority although he winds me up sometimes but the rest of you dont, to put it bluntly. and you know fuck all about rap and r&b. so why bother? what do you contribute other than taking up space?

contribution does matter. it's significant. it's not about being an elite it's about chipping in.

This is silly - you're the one here who gets off the most on criticising other people, way more than anyone else. You do it endlessly. Does it make you feel good about yourself? What are you trying to prove?

As for the other insults, give it a rest. You have such contempt flowing out of you, and not all of it is an act. Maybe think about why that is, rather than just carrying on in the same vein for ever?
 
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baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
that's not exactly wrong. i'm like a little excitable puppy, wagging my tale wanting everyone to play and have a nice time, so i do get despondent if i feel people are needlessly spewing bile into what's supposed to be a fun place to be. if you see people having fun, even if you don't understand it or it's not your cup of tea, have some empathy and leave them too it. likewise I'll try and get better at not feeling so stifled if you lot get grumpy.

Decent response, but ... have empathy for others, like you say yourself. That was the whole point.
 

luka

Well-known member
im not going to get drawn into an argument with you baboon. there's nothing to
be gained. i dont see the point. rant all you like. get it off your chest but you
wont suck me in. i just dont think youd be a very good sparring partner.
sorry.
 

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
im not going to get drawn into an argument with you baboon. there's nothing to
be gained. i dont see the point. rant all you like. get it off your chest but you
wont suck me in. i just dont think youd be a very good sparring partner.
sorry.

Funny how you see someone replying to your insults/rants, as drawing you into an argument. You're right though that there's nothing to be gained from this conversation.

Wow, insulting people on the internet is like a nervous tic for you. I'd get that seen to. You're extremely good at contempt, I'll give you that, but it's a bit of a negative skill to have in the long run. There's lots of interesting stuff written about it.

But yes, let's leave it there.
 
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luka

Well-known member
yes im sorry youre upset but i think the best thing for me is to let you vent. i dont think i can respond in any way which going to help matters. just go for it. think of all the things youve pent up and have eaten away at you and express them. sometimes we all have the urge to purge.
 

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
Oh I'm done. I stopped being annoyed once I saw the pattern.

That's some really good advice you've given yourself there, though (as well as good advice for me too, definitely). Express the things that are pent up inside you, and stop taking them out on others - you're a really good writer, so you have a real platform there for self-expression. Don't become one of those talented people who uses that talent to criticise and belittle others.

Or just continue to do that, I suppose. But it seems a waste.

PS I'm being sincere here, not trying to score points. In case that wasn't obvious. Irony is boring past a certain point.
 
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luka

Well-known member
right ok. now you get it. good. that's the whole point. you see the pattern. now start to enjoy it. now start to play the game.
 

luka

Well-known member
i know youre a good lad that's why i dont want to fight you. i just want to show you how the game works so you can play along. its the best game. the most fun and enjoyable game.
 

luka

Well-known member
it is exactly about seeing patterns. tugging on a thread, change the pattern.
please dont think the game is about antagonising people. that's not the motive or the goal.
it's kinder than that. it's lots of fun.
 

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
You didn't invent it. I've met loads of people who play that game. I find it boring once you can't tell what's a game and what's real.
 

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
it is exactly about seeing patterns. tugging on a thread, change the pattern.
please dont think the game is about antagonising people. that's not the motive or the goal.
it's kinder than that. it's lots of fun.

But you do antagonise people on purpose - sly little digs all over the place (or not so sly actually). I'm just wondering why.
 

luka

Well-known member
for me the alternative is to allow yourself to ossify. to fall into role and rote and seize up. to fall victim to the classic middle aged diseases of pomposity and prickliness and rigidity and perpetual outrage. to turn purple in the face.
 

luka

Well-known member
i think that kind of stiffness is the enemy of life and happiness.
i think it's better to be able to move a bit.
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
it's really hard, and i mean this, being a teacher and a leader.

Well have you considered that people here might prefer to be interacted with as equals rather than being 'taught' and 'led'?

I mean, OK, you're clearly replying here still at least partly in your persona as Luka the Internet Guru, which is fine but if you're going to do that, then at least do it consistently. You can't be one of the spiteful popular kids and the teacher.

Alternatively, you could try parking your ego and stop trying to force Dissensus to be what you think it should be. You've been at this guru/sage/pied-piper schtick for well over a decade now - aren't you boring even yourself by this point? And isn't being boring the primary cardinal sin in your view of the world?
 

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
for me the alternative is to allow yourself to ossify. to fall into role and rote and seize up. to fall victim to the classic middle aged diseases of pomposity and prickliness and rigidity and perpetual outrage. to turn purple in the face.

But you're playing a role equally. And the other classic middle age disease is not realising that your criticism is not really about other people, but about yourself (and to be clear, I suffer from this too, maybe just in a less obvious way, at least on Dissensus - so I 'get it' at a visceral level). And then seeking to avoid this through ever more ingenious methods - which is aided immeasurably when you have a particular facility for language or another art.
 

luka

Well-known member
But you do antagonise people on purpose - sly little digs all over the place (or not so sly actually). I'm just wondering why.

if you look upthread you'll see i mention i have a streak of sadism. i try not to let it be my dominant
characteristic. there's two things which habitually lead to me coming a cropper. one is sadism the other is overinflated ego and the 2 go hand in hand. when i can keep them in check then i go really well... flying... then one or other or usually both make me do something that brings me down. that's how it works for me. that's the pull of gravity for me, that's what drags me down.
 
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