IdleRich

IdleRich
Ha thanks mate... it just came to my mind when Craner mentioned learning about wine and I thought that if it made me laugh then it might make someone else laugh too. I don't mean to take the piss out of this guy really, he IS a cool guy and I find him interesting, and to have such an in-depth talk about films unexpectedly like that for me in that moment was like a thirsty man finding an oasis (cos I really mean it about how people know nothing... there's this guy, one of our truly best friends here, such a great guy and an art graduate, talented and funny and all of that, and we were going up to his flat and I was admiring all the old banisters on the way up and I said "these really remind me of the Polanski apartment films" and he said "What's that? Who?" and it's just amazing to me that such a smart guy who was educated in the arts could be so ignorant) ... but it seemed so weird for him to suddenly come out with something like that - and also it seemed so absurd when he'd been talking so much about how he didn't care what people thought of him and he'd been doing it so convincingly too. I was really thinking this guy has a very strong personality and he truly doesn't give a fuck. Except his one weakness I guess.
 

craner

Beast of Burden
I didn't really have any specific wine questions, I was just wondering if there are any self-declared connoisseurs among us. Wine people really fascinate me, to a degree (then they immediately bore me, it's a very sudden switch).

I was just wonder if becoming a wine buff is like crossing the Rubicon, a deliberate commitment, or it just comes naturally. I mean, I've drunk lakes of wine since my early twenties and yet my ignorance remains almost total. I feel like if I was going to expend that effort, I'd learn a language or read the Western Canon or something. But then, maybe it would be fun and interesting to have a bit more expertise. I guess I'm just not that interested, which is odd, as drinking is one of my favorite hobbies. Every now and then I browse a copy of Kingsley Amis' Everyday Drinking and envy the easy knowledge, it seems so cool and glamorous, but then, I remember, it's also good not to have gout and look 15 years older than I actually am.
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
I didn't really have any specific wine questions, I was just wondering if there are any self-declared connoisseurs among us. Wine people really fascinate me, to a degree (then they immediately bore me, it's a very sudden switch).

I was just wonder if becoming a wine buff is like crossing the Rubicon, a deliberate commitment, or it just comes naturally. I mean, I've drunk lakes of wine since my early twenties and yet my ignorance remains almost total. I feel like if I was going to expend that effort, I'd learn a language or read the Western Canon or something. But then, maybe it would be fun and interesting to have a bit more expertise. I guess I'm just not that interested, which is odd, as drinking is one of my favorite hobbies. Every now and then I browse a copy of Kingsley Amis' Everyday Drinking and envy the easy knowledge, it seems so cool and glamorous, but then, I remember, it's also good not to have gout and look 15 years older than I actually am.

Well to take a sort of utilitarian view, if you can still enjoy a cheap or cheap-ish bottle of supermarket plonk then near-total-ignorance is bliss, isn't it? I mean I don't have in any way a developed palate but I can tell that a 5 quid bottle is absolute pish (I buy one now and then for cooking with and, well obviously I'm not going to throw the rest away, but I'm aware it's bad wine), and that a 10 quid bottle is somewhat better, and that a 20 quid bottle is noticeably better still. What I don't really want is a palate that's so used to 50 quid bottles of wine that a 20 quid bottle tastes like a 5 quid bottle tastes to me at present.

Then again, short of me winning the lottery (odds of which are pretty slim, given that I don't play it), I don't really have much of an opportunity to get used to 50 quid bottles of wine, so I'm probably not at risk of that particular fate.

What you can do, I think, is learn enough about wine to be able to choose a 10 quid bottle that'll taste much nicer than other 10 quid bottles. My dad has that knowledge, which I envy. But you need to put in a lot of work to get to that level, I think.
 
Last edited:

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
A big part of it is learning how to circumvent French wine snobbery. E.g. my dad knows the particular appellations adjacent to the really famous ones that even non-wine-buffs have heard of (Chateauneuf-du-Pape, say), and which produce wines that are almost identical but, because they don't have that famous name, are not much more than half the price. Of course, that's already a pretty specialist level of knowledge.
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
But then... I really don't know where this came from... but it felt as though he was crescendoing, as though after all this build-up Pedro was about to tie it all together, he paused as as though delivering his final, most important maxim, the key which would hold together all of his other grand theories in one mega-theory and reveal to us mere mortals the secret to truly being a man. Actually it literally was that in a sense, cos he said "If I had a small penis I would kill myself." - and I was kinda like..."Yeah man, yeah, so right... er, what?" He was "Yep... if you have a small penis you have to kill yourself. What is the point in living if you have a small penis?" - and a that point I did begin to question whether or not he should be my new guru, maybe he didn't totally have all of life's priorities figured out completely. Maybe we were just all on drugs.

I have to ask - while he was expounding this grand theory, was the girlfriend sitting there and sagely nodding along like she agreed, or was she smirking at you, tilting her head towards her boyfriend and making that gesture people do by wiggling her little finger? Or what?
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
I have to ask, did you decide to not have him as your guru cos you've got a small penis?

Surely Rich was tempted to stand up and whip it out there and then but didn't want to have to deal with the guy grabbing a bread knife from the kitchen and committing seppuku on the spot?
 

WashYourHands

Cat Malogen
I didn't really have any specific wine questions, I was just wondering if there are any self-declared connoisseurs among us. Wine people really fascinate me, to a degree (then they immediately bore me, it's a very sudden switch).

I was just wonder if becoming a wine buff is like crossing the Rubicon, a deliberate commitment, or it just comes naturally. I mean, I've drunk lakes of wine since my early twenties and yet my ignorance remains almost total. I feel like if I was going to expend that effort, I'd learn a language or read the Western Canon or something. But then, maybe it would be fun and interesting to have a bit more expertise. I guess I'm just not that interested, which is odd, as drinking is one of my favorite hobbies. Every now and then I browse a copy of Kingsley Amis' Everyday Drinking and envy the easy knowledge, it seems so cool and glamorous, but then, I remember, it's also good not to have gout and look 15 years older than I actually am.

Value here, tastiest red booze under a fiver, buy 2 & use one as a reduction for gravy utopia

https://www.aldi.co.uk/toro-loco-superior/p/040728020610200

Out of stock online, guaranteed in store
 

WashYourHands

Cat Malogen
Thing with wine is bottle-size related, tangentially.

A typical bottle of red takes 2 glasses for your taste buds to wake up & acclimatise to the wine itself, each bottle containing approximately 6 glasses. Over an hour you can start to juice up nicely with 2 such samples. Fat tannins, raft of flavour profiles. Good, nothing worse than taking a punt on shit. You feel that tension in your neck ease & you pour a 3rd glass. Lovely colours on this, see, hold it up to the light & look through its mystical hues; that copper into ruby diffusion near the rim? Been in a barrel for a while. Half-way down the 3rd glass. They weren't lying about the price value on the blurb. No drama. It's 9:30pm, no razor edge to be traversed with work, getting into it now. You check the clock. 9:33pm. One for the road, but sip-savour this 4th glass, get to bed & see if you can ease it out to last for 45mins-one hour. No worries.

Then you get to thinking - "what use are 2 glasses of this lovely gear to anyone the next day? Missus drinks vanilla stoli, it'll go off & lose its pop". You look at the label. Something about the style of French wine label designs, their blend of whimsy & formality, flair & tradition. This is why the English will never produce a player like Cantona. You pour your 5th glass & exhale. Lovely gear this. Swill it round like a ponce because there's only 1 glass left aside now. Savour it. Then that voice chirps in again, "you bought 2 of these to make gravy with". What? "Yes, it's by the iron". Hmmmm, nay bother having a 7th then. Open ended, adult-minded options. Don't have to be up until 5:15am. You put a mix on and exhale. Same voice as before, but with a pushier tone now, states confidently "maybe that fat bud Dik left on NYE is still in the cutlery drawer. Let's have a nose downstairs, slowly, don't wake her up, thought i'd smoked it ages.....there you are! Back of the net". You get a rushy craving & fancy some crisps. When in Rome. But wait, "that other bottle is ......gotcha".

Mmmmm, lovely gear this.
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
You're made of tougher stuff than me, going on a multi-bottle bender plus weed with a 5:15 am start looming!
 

WashYourHands

Cat Malogen
Haven?t been drunk in years. This was why. 5am comes early & with kids you have to be on the ball 24/7, excluding a couple of bank holidays when my Mum or in-laws stress bust.

My liver is friends with me again, got a bit fraught between us for a while.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
I was just wonder if becoming a wine buff is like crossing the Rubicon, a deliberate commitment, or it just comes naturally.
I have that question with a lot of things. At first sight it sounds like a stupid one but it's not... some things you really do just sort of magically pick up by being
interested in them and being in a situation that immerses you, but some are really not like that at all. Unfortunately Portuguese is very much in the latter category - for me at least.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
I think I mentioned buying way too much lamb the other day... I made the lamb pakku and kebabs and now the girlfriend has boiled up the bones which still had loads of meat on to make a carrot and red lentil soup which we've been eating for starters etc for three days or so.

20200517_012335.jpg

In the end that lamb was enough for six helpings of lamb curry, 14 or 15 kebabs and also about ten helpings of this soup.
 
Last edited:
Top