Ego

[luka]

and you were anxious about it?

There's a specific anxiety about sexuality going on here, to point out the obvious

Not in the slightest. It was normal. Newham is a very multicultural area. It was normal to be the only white boy in a classroom or in a football match in the park or at a birthday party.

 

[luka]

Of course it's all very well to pretend these anxieties and fantasies don't exist in order to demonstrate how liberated you are but at the same time it's dishonest isn't it

 

[luka]

I mean, it's transparently dishonest. Hilariously so.

 

[baboon2004]

That was my point. Everyone was avoiding the main anxiety here, which is about their own sexuality. Dishonest, as you say. And yes, hilariously so.

 

[DannyL]

But seriously? I can't believe you lot can't conceive of going to a gay club, it's hilarious. The final frontier...

Yeah. This is one of the weirdest things I've ever read on here.

 

[luka]

The other huge component of this is feeling that you are intruding somewhere where you don't belong.

 

[luka]

you have to ask yourself, are these people trying to get away from me? And if so, why am I here.

 

[luka]

Yeah. This is one of the weirdest things I've ever read on here.

No one said this thiugh did they!

 

[baboon2004]

The other huge component of this is feeling that you are intruding somewhere where you don't belong.

Or where you might belong, but you're scared to find out.

 

[luka]

I'm being slightly provocative but its for a purpose.

 

[sadmanbarty]

No one said this thiugh did they!

barty would you ever go to a club for gays?

yes

.

 

[DannyL]

I used to go gay bars in Clapham when I lived there. Sometimes with my drag queen housemate or workmates. Not that different from normal bars tbh, bar far less chance of being punched in the head.

 

[luka]

Or where you might belong, but you're scared to find out.

Yeah, sure. That will be part of the make up of this complex of emotions. That's obvious. But pretending that doesn't exist seems laughable to me.

 

[pattycakes_]

Love the contrast of free flowing infinitely open minded cosmos traveller poet who's scared of gay clubs

 

[baboon2004]

Not in the slightest. It was normal. Newham is a very multicultural area. It was normal to be the only white boy in a classroom or in a football match in the park or at a birthday party.

Exactly, that was really my point. Most of us function in situations where difference is normal, in one sense or another.

 

[luka]

Love the contrast of free flowing infinitely open minded cosmos traveller poet who's scared of gay clubs

No one has ever invited me. What am I supposed to do? Just barge into one for no reason?

 

[baboon2004]

Yeah, sure. That will be part of the make up of this complex of emotions. That's obvious. But pretending that doesn't exist seems laughable to me.

That was precisely my point, people skirting round the main reason for their anxiety is hilarious.

 

[luka]

That was precisely my point, people skirting round the main reason for their anxiety is hilarious.

But that didn't happen. Everyone said, being bummed.

 

[luka]

How much clearer do you need it to be?!!! First response. Being bummed. In black and white.

 

[luka]

getting bummed

Bummed.