Educating Craner (about wine)

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Staff member
OK so I think the DotD has been derailed enough by the wine chat, and since we're all becoming lockdown alcoholics I thought we could do with a proper thread about wine. I'll start, but I really don't know a great deal (just enough to have some idea of how much there is to know, I think), so I'm mainly here to learn (from whom, I'm not sure, although I think 'you' might know a thing or two about it).

Anyway, my pearl of wisdom is this. Don't ever be suckered into thinking you've got a great deal because a supermarket has marked a bottle down by a few quid. I used to shop for wine on this principle, but I'd often find that I'd buy a wine that was "reduced" from 10 quid to 6 quid, then open it and think "hmm, this is a perfectly reasonable six pound bottle of wine but I'd be pissed off I'd paid a tenner for it" - because in fact it was a six pound bottle of wine, that the shop had inflated to ten pounds for a short time - I think the legal minimum is two weeks - then put back to its normal price but with an eye-catching sticker on the shelf, advertising this great 'discount'.

Now you can get good discounts on wine, but you have to go to a proper wine merchant such as Berry Bros & Rudd (their London shop is on, er, Pall Mall!) and ask if they have any bin ends. These are wines that are being discontinued, not because they're not selling but just because they're being superseded by the following vintage and the shop wants to free up warehouse space. Then you can get discounts of 20, 30 or 40 percent, so you can get a 20 quid bottle for 15, or a 30 quid bottle for 20, say. And the original price will be a fair price (by UK standards, of course) for a wine of that quality. A downside is that shops like this often tend to be on out-of-town trading estates, so hard to get to if you don't have a car.
 

HMGovt

Bamber Clatscoigne
drink beer
Beer gives you tits. Especially hoppy beers. IPA stand for "I've a pair of massive knockers"

Wine does not give you tits.

I like Sicilian wines from Aldi for 4.99 or from Waitrose for 9.99. tastes the same.

Ribera del Duero is a good sign
I buy L'Ar?ne des Anges Costi?res de N?mes and Terre di Faiano Organic Primitivo on sight

Amarone is expensive but worth it, Ripasso di Valpolicella is similar and half the price

White wine is filth except albari?o
 
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Leo

Well-known member
I love wine but beer is so enjoyable too. limit yourself to two and you won't have tits.
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Staff member
Beer gives you tits. Especially hoppy beers. IPA stand for "I've a pair of massive knockers"
Do they turn the goddamn frogs gay too?

Amarone is fucking brilliant, it has to be said. It's like wine squared.
 

WashYourHands

Well-known member
any time i ever perused the wine bit in a French supermarche, the locals barged past & bought 1euro50 peach-coloured rose

quaffable but not transcendent
 

WashYourHands

Well-known member
Alright, wine ponce alert.

Left-bank Bordeaux, specifically the cabernet-weighted numbers. Out there for around a tenner, cru-bourgeois from Medoc especially. Best served with hearty meals. They have the cigar-box, toffee cherry thing going on in spades. Only got to know them working in & robbing from restaurants. I'd (past-tense) rather pick Pauillacs. Massive mouth bombs. If you're travelling in France, there are outstanding Margaux appellations everywhere on sale. Treat yourself, go random, it'll still be banging. Ultimate big steak wine, just never order at an eatery unless you're in Bordeaux in which case go f()ckin mental. Decant like a ponce at home if you're a lush, give whatever an hour & it softens a tad though not really relevant with new wines.

British isles shop around Kiwi & Oz Pinot Noir. They're more robust than Burgundy, but not as complex as Rhone or Nine Popes options. Pinot Noir suits roasts AND fish, where other grape types can clash. People say this maxim is crap, but Beaujolais is possibly the only other exception.

White wine? Fuck knows. Anything except those minging, candifloss ice wines. Gross. Dr Loosens are an exception & Chablis has that mineral structure you can almost bite your front teeth down on (there's usually deals on these in most retailers).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ig3pcF-M4LI
 

DannyL

Wild Horses
Anyone ever done a wine tasting? I did a meditation curriculum some years ago focusing on the senses and I always thought that'd be an interesting way to expand it. I like the idea of "being into wine" but have never put the hours in. I think it requires a different life than mine, one of cabs, expense accounts and nice restaurants.

At the moment, I haven't had a drink all week so am going to buy some decent beers for the super-bourgeoise beer shop down the road. Unfortunately it costs twice as much but I would rather drink less and drink nicer.
 

HMGovt

Bamber Clatscoigne
Anyone ever done a wine tasting? I did a meditation curriculum some years ago focusing on the senses and I always thought that'd be an interesting way to expand it. I like the idea of "being into wine" but have never put the hours in. I think it requires a different life than mine, one of cabs, expense accounts and nice restaurants.

At the moment, I haven't had a drink all week so am going to buy some decent beers for the super-bourgeoise beer shop down the road. Unfortunately it costs twice as much but I would rather drink less and drink nicer.
Just say "biscuity" and everyone will be impressed.
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Staff member
At the moment, I haven't had a drink all week so am going to buy some decent beers for the super-bourgeoise beer shop down the road. Unfortunately it costs twice as much but I would rather drink less and drink nicer.
If you spend 10 quid instead of 5 quid you're getting 270 p's worth of wine instead of 30 p, i.e. an increase of a factor of 9:

https://www.morningadvertiser.co.uk/Article/2018/10/31/How-much-tax-is-on-a-bottle-of-wine

I fucking hate the way it's apparently acceptable here to treat adults like naughty children who need to be kept in line for their own good. The UK's wine duty isn't the very highest in Europe, although it's not far off:



But of course there's 20 pc VAT on top of that as well.
 

craner

Beast of Burden
Is the cost equivalent to the per capita of appalling binge drinkers who can’t be trusted with less than 4p duty on wine?
 

catalog

Well-known member
I think it requires a different life than mine, one of cabs, expense accounts and nice restaurants.
This is sort of what I think about anyone who is into and knows anything about wine, other than basic supermarket stuff. Of course, that shouldn't be the case. I think it's this country more than anything - wine seems to be a class thing almost. Not the case in Europe I would say, based upon my admittedly very little experience (not drank alcohol for nearly 4 years and when i did, i only really ever drank beer or whiskey, only had wine if it was free or at a dinner or something, would never buy it for myself).
 
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