If you could do it all again

woops

is not like other people
once i was in a deeply dingy south london squat and someone anonymous had written on the wall

"i've learned so much from my mistakes, i'm thinking of making a few more"
 

woops

is not like other people
I guess you've got to play the hand you're holding and not worry about how you ended up with something much shitter than you could have had.
you could have been born to a lifestyle of incredible wealth, luxury and privilege, in fact there's someone like that in the news at the moment
 

luka

Well-known member
Staff member
the one sin God can never forgive is ingratitude. that and being a pedo.
 

luka

Well-known member
Staff member
yes im so glad im 40. 20s were good. 30s are meaningless. 40 you dont care anymore.
i care more than ever. i agree twenties are fun. the thirties weren't meaningless but they were very, very dark at times.
 
Yeah mistakes when thunk through make you funnier and more empathetic. but you can end up clinging to them. its quite a reductive way of looking at life, this regret and melancholy, you take out a lot of mess, complexity when looking back like this. its worth asking what its giving you. i think what its doing a lot of the time for me is making an excuse, a way to stick to my values without taking risks, lovely comfortable melancholy.
 

luka

Well-known member
Staff member
we've talked about this a lot here, melancholy is delicious but it's pernicious and you have to napalm it and all the thought processes associated with it. torch it. raze it to the ground. perform a massive act of self-mutilating violence and cut it out from your soul with a knife.
 
It’s generally painted as a mourning of something lost but it’s equally a preservation of something
 

Corpsey

call me big papa
This is good stuff. I've been cultivating a melancholy attitude to life since I was about 13.
 

Corpsey

call me big papa
Exquisite pain.

Once or twice I've been genuinely happy, with no shadow falling across me, and that's felt odd, makes me unnerved, anxious to regain some perspective by getting depressed about something.
 
Admit you enjoy it first corpsey, that’s your first step. You’re invested in it, you like how it looks on you deep down.
 

Corpsey

call me big papa
Oh, I know that.

It's a sort of compensation for being frightened of acting. You enjoy painfully musing on the life unlived.
 

Corpsey

call me big papa
I actually have done this, somewhat consciously in the past — not gone to a party or whatever cos I'm scared, and been aware that as compensation I'd be able to writhe in exquisite misery over me not going...
 

woops

is not like other people
i hit a real peak of horror in my 20s and have been getting gradually better ever since. i'm glad i am still alive and can see the normal things of everyday life. melancholy has its place, it's certainly preferable to outright despair or depression. i am not luke have not excised it with a scalpel and i see it as a general uplift out of those two d-words. but when you happen to be happy all this flies out of the window and you couldn't care less. that's my experience.
 
Top