Life seems very futile to me now. But also strenuous and stressful. A boring prison. It's the post holiday blues, ofc, but also simply entering back into precisely the same situation that was depressing me before.
The only thing that really matters to me when I'm alone is art, music, literature etc. These things are all so far from my day job that my day job (quite apart from the stress of it) repulses me.
I often feel convinced that I should be an academic, since in many ways I'm just the type. But several people in or adjacent to academia recently told me it's a terrible profession to get into these days. And of course the arts industry is totally fucked with COVID.
I've got to admit when @suspendedreason told us about about learning programming recently I thought maybe that IS the way to go.
Chances are I'd fucking hate programming though, but at least I'd be making serious wonga.
Coding is like somewhere between writing an essay, troubleshooting a broken printer, and solving a word problem (like standardized maths test, not too hard). It's not the most fun thing, but if you're OK with problem-solving it's not a bad gig at all. You're doing things with your mind, you're building things, you're working on a team, there's a finished product to show for it. Less alienating than most jobs in that sense