Can You Eat like a Civilized Human Being?

luka

Well-known member
Staff member
Not as far as I know. Stan would call that 'optimization'
"The universe moves inexorably in configurations of greater and greater complexity and optimization, first solid food, then banana flavor Soylent, then the Acension, in an upward movement of perfection man-Angel-God"
 

luka

Well-known member
Staff member
when I was a kid I did the elaborate ritual where you cut with the knife in your right hand and then swap hands before bringing it to your mouth. must have picked it up by osmosis. seems completely unhinged to me now. these days i just move my head to the plate and grab what I can, like I'm bobbing for apples.
Proof here
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Staff member
Who here can use chopsticks properly?

I'm sort of basically proficient, I think.
 

luka

Well-known member
Staff member
Not properly no. But I'm not that good with a knife and fork either. Rice is tricky even though it tends to clump together. Anything small and slippery. I like the challenge though. Makes meal times fun. It's like a crystal maze challenge
 

entertainment

Well-known member
Who here can use chopsticks properly?

I'm sort of basically proficient, I think.
yes girlfriend's half japanese so i've had to learn. i still can't bring myself to put the bowl to the mouth and push the food into my mouth with the chopsticks like they do. they also slurp very noisily.
 
Yall have soylent?

Disgruntled tech bro, frustrated at the inefficiency of meals, made what is supposed to be the ultimate liquid meal replacement. You can go weaks without solid food. Yes, it is named after soylent green.
huel is the biggest brand here I think. Close to Oliver twists gruel. Even as someone who does treat food as sustenance sometimes I find meal replacement offensive. At the other extreme i get irritated by ‘foodies’. can’t have people talking about food too much
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Staff member
These meal replacements, with the whole idea of making eating more "efficient", make me think of the eating machine in Modern Times:

 

beiser

Well-known member
These meal replacements, with the whole idea of making eating more "efficient", make me think of the eating machine in Modern Times:

The "spiritual" objection to meal replacement is true boomer energy. Nobody is using them to replace fine steak dinners with the boys, or fantastic saturday morning pancake breakfasts, they're eating them when they're in a hurry and would otherwise have a pack of wotsits or a microwave enchilada.
 

Leo

Well-known member
yes. they all hold forks upside down and pile stuff on the curved back. they all do it, weirdos.
 

Leo

Well-known member
it turns out Americans put down the knife and switch the fork to the right hand whenever they take a bite
yeah, that's how I do it it.

also see adults who hold their fork in the clinched fist, with fork pointing downward, stab the meat, cut it with knife on other hand and then kind of twirl the fork in their hand and raise it to their mouths. looks kind of crude.
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Staff member
The "spiritual" objection to meal replacement is true boomer energy. Nobody is using them to replace fine steak dinners with the boys, or fantastic saturday morning pancake breakfasts, they're eating them when they're in a hurry and would otherwise have a pack of wotsits or a microwave enchilada.
Call me old fashioned, but in those situations I'll get a sandwich.
 

HMGovt

Bamber Clatscoigne
I remember the time the college kitchen threw a curveball at us all as we sat in the oak-panelled Elizabethan dining room. Hamburgers! In buns! Now, being grammar school scum from the Midlands, I had no problem with this: both hands on the bun, lift, chomp, fold remnants behind face, followed by a handful of chips and swig of Lilt. Done.

But most people, everyone else I think, was wrongforked by this. I was amazed to find they set about their burgers with cutlery, uncertain and hesitant, eyes darting sideways, to see what the form was.

Boot was on the other foot the day they served pheasant and I almost broke a tooth on some shot that was still in it.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
What college where you at? At Hugh Stewart Hall at Nottingham Uni we had a "formal" dinner once a week which meant that a load of spotty late teens dug out their one cheap and shiny suit and bought some cheapo wine from the corner shop to down with an ever so slightly posher bit of food while the college warden sat on the top table ignoring us - I'm pretty sure it never went as far as pheasant though.
 

luka

Well-known member
Staff member
no,Oxford is the university. i dint know which college but knowing it is oxford is sufficient context i think
 
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