Can You Eat like a Civilized Human Being?

WashYourHands

Well-known member
Hands, even for soup. Just shovel it in. The English and their manners eh. Bit like the Japanese for heavily coded nuances, island cultures always in the existential presence of being usurped. Drunks who don’t know they’re drunk are far more grating.

The volume goes up. They tell everyone they’re going for a piss. They eat all the cheese. They steal your lighter and text you from the same room they’ve got it hostage. They won’t fuck off. It’s 3am and they’re deep into a bottle of port that’s appeared from nowhere. Oh god no. Your partner tells the drunks she’s going to bed. Fuck. That’s leaving me to it and telling me to get on exiting them out. 4am. They’re offering you lines of pub dust. You suspect this has already been going on during their piss breaks. One of them starts crying about their ex and someone says the ideal remedy (as a form of caring) is to definitely rack up more lines. More lines? A senior suspect might have injested something else too, they’re the only person not talking, just staring. The taxi/Uber bloke comes through in time. Tip the cunt a score personally for intervening. Get shouted at for staying up late with certain known twats. Lie in the dark.
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Hands, even for soup. Just shovel it in. The English and their manners eh. Bit like the Japanese for heavily coded nuances, island cultures always in the existential presence of being usurped. Drunks who don’t know they’re drunk are far more grating.

The volume goes up. They tell everyone they’re going for a piss. They eat all the cheese. They steal your lighter and text you from the same room they’ve got it hostage. They won’t fuck off. It’s 3am and they’re deep into a bottle of port that’s appeared from nowhere. Oh god no. Your partner tells the drunks she’s going to bed. Fuck. That’s leaving me to it and telling me to get on exiting them out. 4am. They’re offering you lines of pub dust. You suspect this has already been going on during their piss breaks. One of them starts crying about their ex and someone says the ideal remedy (as a form of caring) is to definitely rack up more lines. More lines? A senior suspect might have injested something else too, they’re the only person not talking, just staring. The taxi/Uber bloke comes through in time. Tip the cunt a score personally for intervening. Get shouted at for staying up late with certain known twats. Lie in the dark.
I love how so many of your posts start with an opinion or observation, expressed simply enough, and then evolve into a miniature voyage into the dark heart of the British psyche, like Marlow slowly steaming his way up the Congo.
 

martin

----
You're all bleeding animals. I was raised by redneck navvies but have impeccable table manners. My mum actually beat me with a wooden spoon and sent me to bed hungry if an elbow even brushed the table.

You need to learn dining etiquette or you'll be fucked when Saffron Whitby-Desforges asks you out to dinner to talk about commissioning your 'electronic soundscapes' for her Biennale installation - and you're sitting there with a furrowed brow, trying to cut a steak with the fish knife, with chewed food flecks lining the rim of your wine glass... or scooping handfuls of crab bisque into your gob and over your chin. Animals!

The exception for me is a doner kebab. Some primal reflex kicks in, and I'm suddenly back among our wolf ancestors, eyeing a delicate lost lamb with murderous intent. Sitting at the bus stop at 1am, eyes aflame... battering into the debris of greasy meat, irradiated chilli sauce, chlorinated salad and soggy, disintegrating pitta...noisily humming the chorus to "Love Will Tear Us Apart" as I graze...flashing my canines and inching away whenever someone walks up asking if the Northern Line's still running. Feast with the beast!
 

yyaldrin

in je ogen waait de wind
i'm staying with family for some time now and i'm reaching the point where i'm thinking of getting myself a separate chair and table cos i just can't handle the way they eat their food. my brother eats everything with his hands and makes the loudest noises, doesn't even bother farting, will just look up to you looking like "what?". my father has half his meal in his moustache at the end of dinner.

what bothers me more though, is why is it upsetting me so much? why can't i just go along?
 

luka

Well-known member
That conjures up a very vivid image for me. Teutonic family, huge cumbersome bodies, blunt Dutch heads, blonde Dutch moustaches, womenfolk with broad shoulders and strong jaws, heavy wooden table, heavy wooden chairs, huge hams on the table, mutton chops, potatoes, everyone just shovelling it in, wiping their mouths with their sleeves, belching, farting, guffawing, hearty slaps on the back, flagons of ale, off-colour remarks about immigrants and gays
 

luka

Well-known member
Then poor old yyaldrin, the black sheep of the family, snake hipped, 5 ft 4, fastidious in his habits, squeamish, carefully cutting his food into bite sized pieces, little gulp of water after each mouthful, flinching from every lapse in decorum, physically in pain
 

yyaldrin

in je ogen waait de wind
you're not far off actually.

another thing that bothers me is that if there's a piece of food left, let's say the last potatoe, my manners keep me from taking it, whereas my brother doesn't even have those thoughts, he will just grab it and shove it away.
 

luka

Well-known member
i do think big people are sheltered from the world to a large degree. the phrase thick skinned is relevant. large peoples nerves are buried under more flesh so they dont have feelings per se. i think this is why friends tend to be the same shape and size as a rule. their life experiences match up
 

yyaldrin

in je ogen waait de wind
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia i never heard of this but i think it's what i'm suffering from. i really need to get rid of it and go along with the rest of the swines.

As of 2016 the literature on misophonia was limited.[5] Some small studies show that people with misophonia generally have strong negative feelings, thoughts, and physical reactions to specific sounds, which the literature calls "trigger sounds". These sounds usually appear quiet to others, but can seem loud to the person with misophonia, as if they can't hear anything except the sound. One study found that around 80% of the sounds were related to the mouth (e.g., eating, slurping, chewing or popping gum, whispering, whistling) and around 60% were repetitive. A visual trigger may develop related to the trigger sound,[5][7] and a misophonic reaction can occur in the absence of an actual sound.[2]

Reactions to triggers can range from mild (anxiety, discomfort, and/or disgust) to severe (rage, anger, hatred, panic, fear, and/or emotional distress).[4] Reactions to the triggers can include aggression toward the origin of the sound, leaving, remaining in its presence but suffering, trying to block it or trying to mimic the sound.[7]

The first misophonic reaction may occur when a person is young, often between the ages of 9 and 13,[4] and can originate from someone in a close relationship, or a pet.[7]

People with misophonia are aware they experience it and some consider it abnormal; the disruption it causes in their lives ranges from mild to severe.[5][7] Avoidance and other behaviors can make it harder for people with this condition to achieve their goals and enjoy interpersonal interactions.[3]
 

luka

Well-known member
version has a whole range of related syndromes he talks about sometimes. morbid sensitivity. its very interesting and we all experience it at times, the sense of being tuned in wrong, so that everything is an affront to the nerves, babies are like this all the time that is why they are always screaming
 

luka

Well-known member
no he is still afflicted with them that is why he never leaves the house. he needs to be able to control his environment
 

version

Well-known member
I'm actually much better than I was. The more sleep I get, the more I exercise and the more fresh air and sun I get, the less that hyperawareness/sensitivity arises.
 

version

Well-known member
That conjures up a very vivid image for me.
This is how I picture his dad, but older and with more of a moustache.

Adolf_Woelfli.jpg
 
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