Can you hug your opposite sex friend?

yyaldrin

in je ogen waait de wind
for me it's rather about making a distinction between people i care about and love and people i don't give a fuck about. i give my colleagues a handshake, or the person i'm having a job interview with, i give strangers a handshake. handshakes are very economic, they don't mean anything.
 

padraig (u.s.)

a monkey that will go ape
or, I said "immediate family" but that can be reasonably extended to "close family"

given not only the close relationships many people have with extended family, but the value cultures put on different kinds of familial relations
 

padraig (u.s.)

a monkey that will go ape
tho I don't you should be under any obligation to hug family just bc their family

I actually can't think of the last time - not even counting the pandemic - I hugged a family member. it's just not how we are.
 

padraig (u.s.)

a monkey that will go ape
my definition of "family" is self-selected

for most people it will include their genetic family but it doesn't have to

close family is who you call close family
 

padraig (u.s.)

a monkey that will go ape
@john eden far be it from me to hinder an integral part of the communist project

obviously I'm not being entirely serious, and men shouldn't be stigmatized for displaying non-sexual physical affection

whether that it's with each other, women, whatever

or, no one should be stigmatized but obv for men stoicism etc is a fundamental part of masculinity etc
 

DannyL

Wild Horses
Paging Dr Reich @DannyL

I've not hugged anyone except my daughter during the pandemic. Used to get hugs from some female colleagues, mates... it's good when you get to that sort of level. I'm not generally an initiator of hugs with women. It's good though, I miss it.
Reich's position would be basically advocating for genuine emotional contact, and he'd include sexual contact as part of and an expression as that. Don't think he had a view on hugging but I guess it can serve as a proxy for contact, so a bit of a falsehood, which is perhaps what's being objected to here.
 

john eden

male pale and stale
@john eden far be it from me to hinder an integral part of the communist project

obviously I'm not being entirely serious, and men shouldn't be stigmatized for displaying non-sexual physical affection

whether that it's with each other, women, whatever

or, no one should be stigmatized but obv for men stoicism etc is a fundamental part of masculinity etc

Oh 100% and I knew you weren't being totally serious. :)

Better to be a bit reserved (I am!) than one of the irritating "sex-positive" people who think boundaries need busting open.
 

john eden

male pale and stale
Reich's position would be basically advocating for genuine emotional contact, and he'd include sexual contact as part of and an expression as that. Don't think he had a view on hugging but I guess it can serve as a proxy for contact, so a bit of a falsehood, which is perhaps what's being objected to here.

For sure. It can also be genuine contact though? And with people who are a bit less forgiving than @padraig (u.s.) the non-hugging thing can be part of the het/cis/male character armour, no?
 

DannyL

Wild Horses
Reich also had an interest in anthropology and how sexuality expressed itself in simpler cultures. Hugging might be a useful subset to examine via this lens. I've noticed male-male physical contact seeming much less taboo in Asia for instance.
 

padraig (u.s.)

a monkey that will go ape
my "dude-bros should fuck each other (if they want to)" position is 100% serious tho

for sure, destigmatize platonic physical contact for those who want to engage in it

but also destigmatize dude-bros fucking each other for those who want to engage in it

like there's a reason women's professional sports are full of open lesbians and men's sports are virtually nil by comparison

and the reason ain't that there are less gay dudes in men's sports
 
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