Locker room talk: rolling basketball thread
- Thread starter linebaugh
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IdleRich
IdleRich
Does that ever happen? Own goals I mean, or not just own goals but fantastic ones that demonstrate an extraordinary skill in the scorer in every way except that it was done inexplicably at the wrong end. Like in football sometimes you get great own goals,
Has the equivalent ever happened in basketball? Or let's not try to run before we can walk... has there ever been an own goal? I can see it doesn't happen all the time like in football, but the game has existed for, give or take, a hundred years right? So there has to be an hilarious incident when the defenders successfully stopped the guy from scoring and got the ball (I know that very rarely happens so maybe that's part of the problem straight off come to think of it) and the guy who had hold of it realised that a break was on so he fucking lozzed it as hard as he could, low trajectory to reach his attacker as quickly as possible so he could just put it the hole really easily with no players near to him (as opposed to when there are players nearby and they just put it in there really easily anyway) - but, one of the team who were breaking was kinda jogging down the court (pitch or playground.. what do you call it?) in support, not looking behind him and the pass which this guy had put all his power into flew like a rocket and smashed into the back of this guy's head, knocking him to the floor - at which point the ball bounced back and up and arced beautifully into the hole.
Oh look, stuck it in youtube and there are a few in there - ok @linebaugh , @suspended , @Leo and @Clinamenic do you have a favourite own goal? A true fan of the sport should surely have a few funny moments at their finger tips....
linebaugh
Well-known member
he plays defense
what'd I tell yaHmm...not sure I'd call being on the wrong end of a 39-14 third-quarter a good showing! so now looks like horrors is available tonight, but Derek white now out for personal reasons. (EDIT: his wife is giving birth tonight...better now than game seven!)
but yeah, FiveThirtyEight still has them the favorite to win it all
2021-22 NBA Predictions
FiveThirtyEight’s NBA forecast projects the winner of each game and predicts each team's chances of advancing to the playoffs and winning the NBA finals.projects.fivethirtyeight.com
IdleRich
IdleRich
How many points will the own goal be? Can you get a 1, 2or 3 pointer with an own goal just like with a normal one? Look at me, I am trying to learn about basketball!
Anyway, what the fuck is this shite he's saying?
That's fucking bullshit, the idiot that scored the own goal shouldn't be let off the hook so easily, it should say at the bottom whee they total up the scores.
Anyway, what the fuck is this shite he's saying?
That's fucking bullshit, the idiot that scored the own goal shouldn't be let off the hook so easily, it should say at the bottom whee they total up the scores.
IdleRich
IdleRich
So @linebaugh and @luka it appears that you are about to have a one-on-one basketball battle or whatever you call it. In the preliminary stage you traded a number of insults, I suppose to psych each other out. But fuck me @linebaugh you just let him set out how the contest would go and meekly followed him; you not only totally followed his idea of pre-game insults, but also you bit his method and style of writing a whole barrage of one-liners. For a sec I was genuinely worried that you were gonna just take the exact the same lines and change every time it said "Linebaugh" to "Luka". Which, thank fuck, you did avoid, but really I'm afraid I can't give you a compliment for just about managing, at the last minute, to avoid looking a complete moron. You're hardly gonna intimidate him with your originality and quick-wittedness are you? Best I can suggest is that you may have lulled into a false sense of security with that performance....
Anyhow, I understand that taunting your opponent before the game - and even more so afterwards if you've won - is both a hugely important part of the game, and is also extremely satisfying. However, it has to be said that if you yourself can't do some damage once you're out the court, it doesn't matter how fucking useless the other guy is. So, I really want to see some actual skills and stuff from you guys. By all means start by saying how fucking amazing you are, but please show us some stuff that you can do. I actually mean this in fact cos, while I can turn on the idiot-box and watch an NBA game or some international thing, I don't really have any ideas of what a normal person or keen amateur looks like when they are playing.
For you US guys (@suspended, @Clinamenic, @Leo and @mvuent are the names that pop o ff the top of my head) I would truly love it if you could post up some clips of you doing some trick or chucking it in the basket from your own D etc and telling me how difficult it is to pull that off. You have a crack n all @luka, did you say that you played a bit at school or whatever? I would love to know who is the best out of you lot.
Anyhow, I understand that taunting your opponent before the game - and even more so afterwards if you've won - is both a hugely important part of the game, and is also extremely satisfying. However, it has to be said that if you yourself can't do some damage once you're out the court, it doesn't matter how fucking useless the other guy is. So, I really want to see some actual skills and stuff from you guys. By all means start by saying how fucking amazing you are, but please show us some stuff that you can do. I actually mean this in fact cos, while I can turn on the idiot-box and watch an NBA game or some international thing, I don't really have any ideas of what a normal person or keen amateur looks like when they are playing.
For you US guys (@suspended, @Clinamenic, @Leo and @mvuent are the names that pop o ff the top of my head) I would truly love it if you could post up some clips of you doing some trick or chucking it in the basket from your own D etc and telling me how difficult it is to pull that off. You have a crack n all @luka, did you say that you played a bit at school or whatever? I would love to know who is the best out of you lot.
IdleRich
IdleRich
I find these one-v-one contests in basketball fascinating. To what extent does the better overall player win those? Maybe that seems like a strange question so I'll explain why I'm asking it - in football suppose you have two players, let's call them A and B, and they have a one-v-one game. In fact we don't really ever play in that format or anything like it, but I reckon that if we did then it would really be better to have two v two with each side having a goalie as well as the players whose ability we are testing - that is to say, A and B of course - and also have a rule which states that the goalies are not allowed off their line or outside the six yard box. And then we make a rule for winning the game, say first to six goals.
And, let'ls say that A thrashed the fuck out of B - totally kicked his cunt in and left him crying on the astro, having mustered only one lucky goal as A ran rings around him, completely taking the piss, nutmegging him whenever he wanted, making him look silly with flip-flaps and hocus-pocuses etc etc So does that mean that A is better than B? Yeah probably does if it's that extreme, but in general this sort of thing is testing their ability to take people on, to tackle and to shoot - but really it says nothing about your positional sense or your ability to read the game, it doesn't test your passing or heading or a million other skills, which you need to play 11-a-side. So it doesn't always follow that someone good at this kind of thing is any good at all at playing as part of a real football team. Is the same not true of basketball?
How many players do you have on the playground at any one time when you playing basketball? I guess it's fewer than 11 so the change from 1 v 1 aint as much... but even so I find it hard to believe that it isn't significant. With football, even a great 5-a-side player isn't necessarily good at 11 a-side. Did you ever see this guy Falcao play futsal (the Brazilian one, not the Colombian guy who played in France and then at Man Utd for a bit)? He was pretty much untouchable at that for a long time - but presumably there was a reason he never stepped up to earn infinite money like Neymar.... these goals though
That flick for the second one you see... or the free-kick which is about the fourth goal on the video; he steps over the ball and keeps on running and then the guy who actually takes it fucking twats it so that it hits the inside of Falcao's leg and pinballs unstoppably into the onion bag, or howabout the one where...
And, let'ls say that A thrashed the fuck out of B - totally kicked his cunt in and left him crying on the astro, having mustered only one lucky goal as A ran rings around him, completely taking the piss, nutmegging him whenever he wanted, making him look silly with flip-flaps and hocus-pocuses etc etc So does that mean that A is better than B? Yeah probably does if it's that extreme, but in general this sort of thing is testing their ability to take people on, to tackle and to shoot - but really it says nothing about your positional sense or your ability to read the game, it doesn't test your passing or heading or a million other skills, which you need to play 11-a-side. So it doesn't always follow that someone good at this kind of thing is any good at all at playing as part of a real football team. Is the same not true of basketball?
How many players do you have on the playground at any one time when you playing basketball? I guess it's fewer than 11 so the change from 1 v 1 aint as much... but even so I find it hard to believe that it isn't significant. With football, even a great 5-a-side player isn't necessarily good at 11 a-side. Did you ever see this guy Falcao play futsal (the Brazilian one, not the Colombian guy who played in France and then at Man Utd for a bit)? He was pretty much untouchable at that for a long time - but presumably there was a reason he never stepped up to earn infinite money like Neymar.... these goals though
That flick for the second one you see... or the free-kick which is about the fourth goal on the video; he steps over the ball and keeps on running and then the guy who actually takes it fucking twats it so that it hits the inside of Falcao's leg and pinballs unstoppably into the onion bag, or howabout the one where...
WashYourHands
Cat Malogen
Leo
Well-known member
Clinamenic
Binary & Tweed
I can spin a basketball on my finger, but that's effectively the extent of my skill.
linebaugh
Well-known member
you didnt even read me!
only one of my comments was a one liner, the others were a part of a coherent story. very different rhetorical strategy
Leo
Well-known member
I used to be able to hang on the rim. couldn't quite get high enough to dunk, though (I will anticipate if your next question about how much higher you'd need, and say it would be at least wrist level).
haven't played in years, not sure if could reach it now.
your question about