Locker room talk: rolling basketball thread

IdleRich

IdleRich
you didnt even read me!

only one of my comments was a one liner, the others were a part of a coherent story. very different rhetorical strategy
I'd advise you not to get bogged down in justifications for your weak performance. Never apologise, never explain should be your strategy here I think.
Anyway, post some mind-blowing skills videos and you will turn it around. It will be like that MMA fight where Connor thingy effortlessly ran rings around his slow-witted opponent in the pre-match interviews - counted for nothing when the other guy knocked him the fuck out. His punches no doubt slightly harder due to that humiliation.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
I used to be able to hang on the rim. couldn't quite get high enough to dunk, though (I will anticipate if your next question about how much higher you'd need, and say it would be at least wrist level
Is that really a basketball skill though - it doesn't even involve the ball? If I go past some kids hanging off the monkey bars I never think "ooh great basketball technique".
I guess I have seen it when they fucking smash the ball through the basket and grab the rim, bellowing in a defiant excess of testosterone.... but dunno if I see the value of the celebration without the dunk. Tell me if I'm missing something.

Sorry Leo - I think spinning the ball on your finger is still the one to beat.
 
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IdleRich

IdleRich
Sadly I've been thinking about this quite a lot lately and one thing I will say for an own-goal in NBA is that, they do tend to have this tantalising quality; I guess due to the fact that they are pretty much always the result of some kind of mis-timed short pass and as a result they tend to involve the ball moving very slowly and inexorably towards the target and more often than not they kinda bobble around the rim, often for what seems like ages, especially for the guilty party no doubt - he's rooted to the floor but in his mind he's going "Surely I can just make it to... oh no it's just too far away." Basically yer standard basketball own-goal comes with a special extra built in slice of agonising cruelty, which I think we can all agree really ought to be part of the own-goal experience.

Then again, in basketball the teams normally average, what, a thousand points each per game I think, so one own goal like that is not really that significant for the result. They should change it so that an own goal gives the other side 10 points or something, to make it more like the devastating psychological blow to the guilty party which we all know it should be.

Or, has anyone ever made own goals significant to the final score by knocking in four or five in one game? I think there was a game in women's football in which someone had amongst the most incredible performances I've ever heard of, I forget the precise details but I think she scored three own goals and was booked or even sent off. Magnificent. And a real blow who insist that women's football is way behind men's.

But in basketball, correct me if I'm wrong, you will never get the equivalent of this cos there is almost no reason for someone to chuck the ball at their own basket when they are so far down the field. Or maybe you can find me one like it, in which case I would love to see it.



Edit; the Lee Dixon own-goal earlier in the thread is still a classic to me cos I think that that was before the backpass rule was introduced. Nowadays if a defender passes back to the keeper he cannot use his arms, he has to use his feet and the rest of his body like an outfield player - which obviously means that the chance of a great own goal has increased. But when Dixon chipped Seaman (an international goalkeeper as well) he was able to use his arms and save it (or not as it happened) like any other shot.
 
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IdleRich

IdleRich
There is one here where he kinda dunks it in his own net - and then I think momentarily automatically celebrates Leo style by swinging from the rim for an instant before he catches himself.



Also, what the fuck is going on at 2.50 or so? It seems like he is deliberately and repeatedly trying (badly) to score an own goal. Has he lost his bearings to the extent he thinks it's the other end? How could that happen after a penalty throw thing? Had he been paid to make his team lose? And if so couldn't he have done it more subtly?
 
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Leo

Well-known member
good luck tonight, @linebaugh. as a Celtics fan, I can attest that teams can bounce back. a 3-0 hole is tough to dig out of, but you never know.
 

linebaugh

Well-known member
Thanks leo. Im half wanting a sweep because maybe it motivates Luka to try a salad in the offseason. Theyve already overacheived so I dont want anybody getting complacent
 
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Leo

Well-known member
Also, am I to understand that, after all the big talk, the combined dissensus basketball skillset consists of @Clinamenic spinning the ball on his finger and @Leo swinging from the rim?

I was actually pretty good up through teenage years. my high school had a tradition of really good teams, competed in state championships a few times and had a half dozen player make it to the college level. I was a decent outside shooter, and tall for my age. but I was always skinny, so eventually I got muscled out under the boards by guys who were also tall but more bulked up.

haven't played in probably 5-7 years, but I was surprised how I'd kept my shooting touch in later years. like riding a bike. I might suck now, though. I blame the vaxx.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
Funny how you forget things, I used to be really pretty good at pool, but it totally isn't like riding a bike, I'm terrible now. Though I might be terrible at riding a bike too come to think of it....
Anyway, here's a football skill video to get you started - not that easy to pull off while filming at the same time..

 

Leo

Well-known member
Do or die for the Celtics tonight. They have a good playoff record on the road, and of wins after losses, but I'm unsure about this one.
 
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sus

Moderator

83%? a joke.
 
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