Crying


This is the scene that almost got me. I've seen it a few times before. What's notable here is that the scene is about how important it is to be able to cry sometimes, and how you actually get a feeling of intense relief and happiness from crying sometimes. And that in of itself made me feel like crying

Were you in company? It’s funny how we suppress the tears in company, sucking them back slowly into our sockets, staring unblinking at the TV in fear someone will ask a question or look at us and see what a fragile thing we are
 

luka

Well-known member
Staff member
I remember the utter contempt I felt for my friend when he burst into tears as we watched Bambi in the cinema aged about 6.
 

WashYourHands

Well-known member
Heavy post alert.

When my Dad passed away, myself, my Mum and 2 of my kid brothers were in the room. When I arrived his eyes were barely open and his breathing was acutely laboured, massive change from the night before when he had Miles Davis on.

As you entered this room there was a sani squirter to do your hands, but my Mum who worked in palliative care for decades said “there’s no need”. Less than 10mins later he took a few slower breathes, then paused, then one staggered breath, head roll to his left and gone. Still. No more pain.

My brothers went into meltdown, I hadn’t seen them cry since they were kids, big heaving uncontainable weeping. Agony in the death garden. And I sat in this chair, quiet, still, while my Mum took his pulse and a nurse came into confirm the the time of death, looking at this scene of monstrous sadness, unable to emote anything.

We all hugged each other and my brothers left, phoned my sisters (the worst conversations of my life) and my Mum and I must have sat in these chairs for an hour or more, silent, heads bowed, thinking of 40 or 50 various moments and scenes from his journey through this illness. It took me 3 years to allow myself the space to let out a wounded howl at how nature could put such a steady reliable man through so much physical and emotional trauma. I even drove way up into the Peaks, where no-one would be and screamed at the gods like a madman. Screamed and cursed and swore vengeance on all the deities for allowing this, for creating this morass of pain.

That’s crying.
 

version

Who loves ya, baby?
I've always found the scene in The Graduate where Hoffman's character goes out of his way to humiliate Mrs. Robinson's daughter on a date really sad. He takes her to a strip club and she just sits there crying with a dancer dancing around behind her and the punters jeering. It's never made me cry, but it's easily one of the saddest things I've seen in a film.
 

luka

Well-known member
Staff member
Now you lot are talking about grown up tears not cheap sentimental Hollywood tears
 

version

Who loves ya, baby?
Those vids YouTube pushes at you of animals being rescued, people being reunited, seem to be used like quick fixes for people trying to cry. A dose of sadness.
 

version

Who loves ya, baby?
Wouldn't be surprised if there's someone who makes a point of crying every day, part of the schedule along with working out and podcasts.
 

luka

Well-known member
Staff member
I'm really deeply upset by those people and they also make me a little bit anxious, as if they represent a turning of the wheel and a cranking up of tension and the heat of the fire beneath us becoming ever hotter. Have we got a thread about them? I know we've discussed them a bit before
 

version

Who loves ya, baby?
I'm really deeply upset by those people and they also make me a little bit anxious, as if they represent a turning of the wheel and a cranking up of tension and the heat of the fire beneath us becoming ever hotter. Have we got a thread about them? I know we've discussed them a bit before
 

luka

Well-known member
Staff member
From a fairly young age I think I just wanted to be left alone and not be forced to participate. Even having to eat was a source of resentment.
 

WashYourHands

Well-known member
If you’re from a generation that straddled the previous older ways, who were always about exhibiting no emotion and what evolved from that after, you can sit on a ton of stuff while having the language to articulate the paradox.

This is why terrorists must attack The One Show.
 

WashYourHands

Well-known member
@shiels guess it’s how you define peaceful. I’ve seen deaths before, but not someone so close.

Everything compresses. Time to process it as it’s happening, or it can be sudden like a roaring inferno, But if it’s aggressive carcinoma you barely get time to focus on the here and now - how long (6 weeks, 3 months?), medications, the futility of radium, a last Christmas, the last round of jaunts in favourite pubs. And then it accelerates. No time for chemo. People falling apart all around you and you’re left with that tidal surge of visitors into the family home post-death, before they all flood back out in a reversed tidal flow to get on with their lives, while a funeral Mass card (that could’ve been designed better) sits on your bedside table.

6 years ago this week. If there’s any beauty to it, it’s about dignity of spirit. If we’re lucky, we get to hold on to at least part of that. It’s the partner left behind that you have to reserve the most care for then and that‘s ongoing.
 
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