Worst serial killer films

[IdleRich]

Yesterday we watched Angelina Jolie in Taking Lives in which the killer assumes the identity of each victim as he kills them - yet still manages to be incredibly predictable; today we watched The Bone Collector with, er, Angelina Jolie which is very stupid yet dull - and at the end she ends up with a man twenty years older than her who can only move his head.
Got us thinking about how serial killers always have to have a USP and films keep creating more and more stupid ones, and, as a corollary, what are the most ridiculous serial killer films?
So far we have an honorable mention for that Bruce Willis one where he is a psychiatrist (yeah Bruce Willis is a psychiatrist) and the murderer is one of his patients who is his lover but disguised as a boy. Actually there is another one with Willis when he's coastguard or something and he shags Sarah Jessica-Parker and she says "I gotta tell you something" and he says "I knew it, you used to be a man" - anyone know what I'm on about?
But the worst I know is called The Snowman and it's got Michael Fassbender and Val Kilmer except it was when VK had tongue cancer and couldn't talk and so his part is dubbed. Anyway the killer murders bad parents and builds a snowman outside his victims' houses - oh yeah it's in Norway so there is always snow. Or something.

 

[IdleRich]

I'm particularly looking for a stupid MO from the killer. Also good if the person who has killed 73 people in the last two years turns out to be the detective's partner or wife or something (as in virtually all of the above).
Bonus points for predictability - like in The Bone Collector I was able to nail to within five minutes when the meddling superior officer would say "You're off the case" - although sadly he never actually said "Give me your gun and badge".
Similarly in Taking Lives, when I said the bad guy was gonna dodge the police and find the protagonist and attack her and girlfriend said "but it makes no sense why would he do that?" and I was like "duh, for the showdown ".

 

[martin]

Don't Open Til Xmas takes some beating.

 

[william_kent]

Shrooms

A bunch of US students go on a camping trip in some Irish woods, drink some mushroom tea, are killed one by one... the characters are unlikeable so there is no reason to care about them dying, the suspense is nonexistent, the twist in the tale is predictable..

The trip sequences are very un-trippy, as evidenced by the talking cow scene


I tried giving the DVD away, but it was returned to me and now gathers dust...

 

[IdleRich]

Reminds me of Antichrist...
But any silly MOs that's what I really want.

 

[william_kent]

Reminds me of Antichrist...
But any silly MOs that's what I really want.

Yeah, Shrooms totally fails on the MO, the gimmick is that the victims die while tripping

 

[william_kent]

Low budget "final girl" slasher flick My Bloody Valentine ( 1981 )

A Canadian mining town is plagued by murders on the eve of their annual Valentine's ball. I remember this one because of the body burnt to a crisp in a dry tumbler machine, the bloody heart in a heart shaped gift box, and the bad acting. The killer switches his MO by using various mining tools to make his kills: pickaxe, drills, nail-gun, etc. He also wears a distinctive "miner's outfit" which wouldn't be out of place in a fetish club. The killer also telegraphs his intention to kill by sending notes like:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
One is dead,
And so are YOU

 

[WashYourHands]

Razorback ...,. a wild boar thing in Oz culls fools and drunks. Pro’s = daft as fuck, cons = it’s has trotters and isn’t human

They could’ve just bbq’d the cunt

 

[william_kent]

Razorback ...,. a wild boar thing in Oz culls fools and drunks. Pro’s = daft as fuck, cons = it’s has trotters and isn’t human

There's also Chaw, a Korean film where a mutant boar is on the rampage..

 

[IdleRich]

A Canadian mining town is plagued by murders on the eve of their annual Valentine's ball. I remember this one because of the body burnt to a crisp in a dry tumbler machine, the bloody heart in a heart shaped gift box, and the bad acting. The killer switches him his MO by using various mining tools to make his kills: pickaxe, drills, nail-gun, etc. He also wears a distinctive "miner's outfit" which wouldn't be out of place in a fetish club. The killer also telegraphs his intention to kill by sending notes like:

This is what I'm talking about... is he called The Miner or the Minekiller or something?

 

[william_kent]

This is what I'm talking about... is he called The Miner or the Minekiller or something?

The townsfolk think the killer is Harry Warden, a miner who survived a mine collapse by resorting to cannibalism 20 years previous to the events of the movie...

 

[IdleRich]

He's back

 

[IdleRich]

I mean if you say a serial killer who skins his victims so he can wear their skin or a guy who kills seven people to represent the seven deadly sins they also sound pretty contrived right?

 

[william_kent]

Death Bell (2008)

There is a whole genre of "exam pressure" films in Korea. This one has some highly improbable murders as a group of elite students cramming for their all important final exams are locked in their school by the killer and set a number of time limited puzzles to solve or else their classmates die in highly contrived set pieces. The first example is the students are shown a video of the top girl confined in a fish tank which is slowly filling with water - answer the questions correctly or she drowns!

 

[polystyle]

Razorback ...,. a wild boar thing in Oz culls fools and drunks. Pro’s = daft as fuck, cons = it’s has trotters and isn’t human

They could’ve just bbq’d the cunt

Haha i saw that one. Who directed ? someone ... noteworthy wasn't it ?
almost comes to mind who ...

 

[polystyle]

Yesterday we watched Angelina Jolie in Taking Lives in which the killer assumes the identity of each victim as he kills them - yet still manages to be incredibly predictable; today we watched The Bone Collector with, er, Angelina Jolie which is very stupid yet dull - and at the end she ends up with a man twenty years older than her who can only move his head.
Got us thinking about how serial killers always have to have a USP and films keep creating more and more stupid ones, and, as a corollary, what are the most ridiculous serial killer films?
So far we have an honorable mention for that Bruce Willis one where he is a psychiatrist (yeah Bruce Willis is a psychiatrist) and the murderer is one of his patients who is his lover but disguised as a boy. Actually there is another one with Willis when he's coastguard or something and he shags Sarah Jessica-Parker and she says "I gotta tell you something" and he says "I knew it, you used to be a man" - anyone know what I'm on about?
But the worst I know is called The Snowman and it's got Michael Fassbender and Val Kilmer except it was when VK had tongue cancer and couldn't talk and so his part is dubbed. Anyway the killer murders bad parents and builds a snowman outside his victims' houses - oh yeah it's in Norway so there is always snow. Or something.

Hehe, hmmm ' the 'worst' ...

Funny you mentioned the Bruce Willis one - what was it called ? Aaahhh ...
w the actress from The Lover. Title was " Color ... " something.

Also you mention 'the Snowman' - only saw the v start - hung over detective wakes up outside , in Norway.
That original story is by one Jo Nesbo - a crime/ psych author there in Norway.
He has some good ones - and a couple whose Serial Killers fit what you are looking for.
The Snowman book being better then the movie afaict.

Will throw one on the fire - "Ms.45" not the v worst, far from best though

 

[woops]

Death Bell (2008)

There is a whole genre of "exam pressure" films in Korea. This one has some highly improbable murders as a group of elite students cramming for their all important final exams are locked in their school by the killer and set a number of time limited puzzles to solve or else their classmates die in highly contrived set pieces. The first example is the students are shown a video of the top girl confined in a fish tank which is slowly filling with water - answer the questions correctly or she drowns!

Sounds great

 

[martin]

Will throw one on the fire - "Ms.45" not the v worst, far from best though

I remember reading about that before I was online, and dying to see it. Then finally tracking it down and being bored stupid.

 

[IdleRich]

Hehe, hmmm ' the 'worst' ...

Funny you mentioned the Bruce Willis one - what was it called ? Aaahhh ...
w the actress from The Lover. Title was " Color ... " something.

Also you mention 'the Snowman' - only saw the v start - hung over detective wakes up outside , in Norway.
That original story is by one Jo Nesbo - a crime/ psych author there in Norway.
He has some good ones - and a couple whose Serial Killers fit what you are looking for.
The Snowman book being better then the movie afaict.

Will throw one on the fire - "Ms.45" not the v worst, far from best though

It has got colour in the title I think, it was just before Pulp Fiction revitalized his career. In fact I really liked the film but it is silly...

 

[IdleRich]

Yeah I think they were gonna adapt all the Harry Hole ones but the Snowman killed that idea deader than a skinny dipping girl in a slasher film.