An Englishman's home is his castle

Dusty

Tone deaf
IMG-20200121-WA0004-411x560.jpg

A thread to celebrate the state of UK housing stock. Uniquely ugly yet unaffordably expensive. Owning a little chunk of this bejewelled isle is a burning desire for us, moreso than our European cousins.

I spend a lot of my time on Rightmove looking for a prospective upgrade, ending up in a depressive slump ... finding that in order to own a house that I would actually consider aesthetically pleasing, something you would be proud to live in and larger than a matchbox, I need approximately £700,000 (on the South Coast).

And prices aren't going down - in fact in some areas it's getting crazy.

https://www.businesstelegraph.co.uk/why-havent-house-prices-collapsed/ (seems to be a copy of the paywalled original FT article)

So share your local highlights, horror stories, or God forbid, some attractive alternatives, like a Dissensus 'Homes Under the Hammer'.

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IdleRich

IdleRich
So share your local highlights, horror stories, or God forbid, some attractive alternatives, like a Dissensus 'Homes Under the Hammer
Guy I i used to play footie with actually bought his place on Homes Under the Hammer, it used to be a cat sanctuary in Crystal Palace but had been converted into a sort of house. Also it had some land and he started keeping pigs which made ace sausages. Said ending though cos he wanted to convert it further and basically the builder stitched him up, declared himself bankrupt and disappeared with his money, having knocked down the building so for a period he was living in a caravan in the ruins of his cat sanctuary with his wife and young child. H did find the money to finish it in the end somehow I think but fucking hell.
That sounds like a wind-up but it's totally true.
 

WashYourHands

Well-known member
The eastward end of Forest Road, Nottingham’s red light strip, has some of the city’s finest crumbling Victorian town houses leading up to Mapperley. Some are “as is”, others demarcated into flats. In the mist and murk of winter, it can be gothically groovy

When the Euros hit this summer and the entire city is bedecked with St George flags (like kryptonite to superman), every home will be a castle. The horror
 

Dusty

Tone deaf
When I look at good suburban US architecture (admittedly made out of wood and blown away easily in a tornado) I can't fathom how we keep getting it so wrong. I know lack of space has driven us into smaller and smaller plots, but even so.

I feel this deserves a place here, although the London market is a special topic all of its own:
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
The eastward end of Forest Road, Nottingham’s red light strip, has some of the city’s finest crumbling Victorian town houses leading up to Mapperley. Some are “as is”, others demarcated into flats. In the mist and murk of winter, it can be gothically groovy

When the Euros hit this summer and the entire city is bedecked with St George flags (like kryptonite to superman), every home will be a castle. The horror
They don't do that here to anything like the same extent. Almost a shame really cos I don't have animosity any flags other than the union one.
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Guy I i used to play footie with actually bought his place on Homes Under the Hammer, it used to be a cat sanctuary in Crystal Palace but had been converted into a sort of house. Also it had some land and he started keeping pigs which made ace sausages. Said ending though cos he wanted to convert it further and basically the builder stitched him up, declared himself bankrupt and disappeared with his money, having knocked down the building so for a period he was living in a caravan in the ruins of his cat sanctuary with his wife and young child. H did find the money to finish it in the end somehow I think but fucking hell.
That sounds like a wind-up but it's totally true.
Stories like this always make me wonder why it's not compulsory to have some kind of insurance to cover you if you go bankrupt, whether as a vendor or purchaser of services of this sort, for any amount over, I dunno, a few grand.
 

version

Well-known member
Apparently one of the reasons for British housing being so cramped is that we go by bedrooms rather than floorspace.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
Stories like this always make me wonder why it's not compulsory to have some kind of insurance to cover you if you go bankrupt, whether as a vendor or purchaser of services of this sort, for any amount over, I dunno, a few grand.
Yeah Rob found out after he'd done it loads of times - had companies called I dunno David Smith Ltd, then whatever Smith David Ltd and so on, that was his MO, crazy they can get away with it so easily and so often.
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Version called me crying when he finally got indoor plumbing. No more dragging the bucket to the moor he said
The irony is that when Brits visit Foreign Parts, we all invariably judge them on whether they have Proper Toilets.
 

Mr. Tea

Shub-Niggurath, Please
Having to put your shitty arse-wipes in a separate little bin next to the bog is just wrong.

I feel like @Corpsey could make valuable contributions to this thread.
 
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