Middle age matesmanship and the pit

woops

is not like other people
It's in The Bell Jar,

“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”
yes i remember it now. not read that book since school days
 

woops

is not like other people
but i remember "preferring" her book of short stories Johnny Panic and the Bible of Dreams providing some quality angst
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
i think out of my little 20s group there is only one couple that are still married.
I have lots of friends that are married or got married but I think the "still" is important in this sentence. Once was talking to a guy I used to know in London who is, I guess, ten years older than me - I said I wouldn't be able to attend something or other cos one of my friends was getting married and I had to go to the wedding, and my friend replied "Oh, you're at that age, around thirthy odd when loads of people that you know get married, one by one they pair off.... in ten years or so you will reach where I am, one by one they are all getting divorced".
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
I actually dunno whose idea or decision it was but it was a while back now wasn't it?
No idea. I got very drunk with him at the launch of his magazine and then went to a party and got more drunk, while he wanted to go on somewhere else and do some mushrooms, which sounded like a catastrophically bad idea given that I was already shitfaced, so I chickened out and went back with his then-girlfriend (Ekaterina? Something like that?) and zonked out on a mattress. He was still out when I got up and left in the morning. But yeah, he's been doing that magazine for a while now, so this was probably 6 or 7 years ago.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
i'm assuming this is not a friend who shares your interest in mathematics
He's an architect or something I think... but I think he meant one of his circle would pair off and marry, then someneone else would do the same, depletting the group by one each time.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
That Sylvia Plath bit about the fig tree.
Yes, I think that when you shared that previously it did make me think at the time of the passage that I'm talking about now. I have a feeling it may be by Alain de Botton in fact though it doesn't really matter who said it. The thing, for me, is that in most things, it is a good idea to keep your options open and for most of the early stages of one's life it is a good principle to work with. Even if there are points where you really have to make final decisions it is often advantageous to find ways that allow you to do that but without closing any doors.

But, inevitably one does reach a point where making any decision cannot help but close off one path, which is something that tends to go against everything we have been taught and also many of our instincts too. So I think, except for a fortunate few, those who have had one very clear goal since they were young - say someone who always knew he wanted to be a professional footballer gets offered the chance to be signed by a top level club and train with them and so on as long as he leaves school at sixteen, he will probably bite their arm off and think to himself "fuck it who needs to learn to read anyhow" - or thse who are simply very decisive and good at making decisions, when we are faced with a decision that will, whatever we choose, close certain things off forever, it's not surprising that many struggle to make the choice. And that some reject the choice, keeping the options open in their head... but arguably, in some sense, they are actually rejecting both of them.

Choosing to keep all options open is a great idea up to a certain point... and then it becomes a terrible mistake. I guess it's the line that Luka referred to above.
 

woops

is not like other people
Alain de Botton
shame on you rich this man is one of the worst writers and people known to life.
Alain de Botton said:
Whilst relaxing on a nice holiday in the south of America I was inevitably reminded of what a very wise philosopher once said about going on holiday which is that it's nice but inevitably you will have to go back home eventually. And my thoughts inevitably turned to the thought that I too would have to go home eventually. After all it wouldn't be much of a holiday if I just stayed there forever on holiday forever. Which reminded me of what a wise philosopher once said about going on holiday.
 

luka

Well-known member
i remember when Nina Power slagged him off on her blog and he invited her out for coffee. i think she did take him up on it too from memory. this was a long time ago.
 

woops

is not like other people
i remember when Nina Power slagged him off on her blog and he invited her out for coffee. i think she did take him up on it too from memory. this was a long time ago.
as i recall she gave his book a bad review and he went in online like a true professional
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
shame on you rich this man is one of the worst writers and people known to life.
That's why I said that it doesn't matter who said it, as long as the point is valid... sometimes the sun shines on a dog's arse you know.
I think it was a book that was kicking round my flat cos the guy I lived wih before Alex - Al you probably remember him - had it. In fact, I think it wasn't written by AdB but just endorsed by him, one of them log-rollingl (as Private Eye call em) quotes on the back and quite possibly on the front too... so it may not be Alan of Bottom but just someone he really looks up to and admires.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
i remember when Nina Power slagged him off on her blog and he invited her out for coffee. i think she did take him up on it too from memory. this was a long time ago.
I would like to know how it ended, the story fizzles a little I'll be honest.
 

version

Well-known member
i remember when Nina Power slagged him off on her blog and he invited her out for coffee. i think she did take him up on it too from memory. this was a long time ago.
Do we think this was a one off or is this just how he meets women?
 

woops

is not like other people
Do we think this was a one off or is this just how he meets women?
never fear the answers lie in his soon to be published in hardback mss. entitled The Finer Points of Sexing. Thanks to my high profile contacts in the world of publishing I can give a preview:
ADB said:
while licking pistachio ice cream off the instep of a concubine i was reminded of the words of Miguel von Forelock, who wrote about the extremes of satisfaction while bonking loads of women, and said it was a bit boring after a bit. suddenly i found everything a bit boring and remembered what dE Leiry wrote about the pleasures of boredom: that it was a lot better than a rich and stimulating sex life - what the french call un life de sex. strangely i suddenly lost my appetite for ice cream and went on the internet to book a holiday in the south of antarctica.
 

luka

Well-known member
I dont know the stats but most of the people in my circle are not married and Im not sure they will. My more straight friends are getting married though
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Modern Man

@imodernman

·
Dec 4

How to demoralise a population: - Make marriage seem pointless. - Make architecture depressing. - Make modern music soulless. - Make modern art uninspiring. - Make porn readily available. - Make all junk food cheap. - Make all news negative. What else would you add?
 

Corpsey

bandz ahoy
my male friends have mostly been stolen by women (and children)

and while on the one hand it's a great shame on the other it's a big relief
 
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