linebaugh

Well-known member
I also watched gamer yesterday but dont have much to say, it was honestly pretty solid


disappointing parts were its unimaginative veiw of the future where everything is the same except that advertisements are the size of buildings and computers are 10 feet tall
 

linebaugh

Well-known member
Something about the pacing these attempteted blockbusters take to fit in enough world building to qualify as an 'epic' while also remaining below a 2 1/2 hour run time disgusts me. Its the acting, its so rushed its impossible to seem human
 

linebaugh

Well-known member
Add in the fact that this movie and all movies like it are at their core for 8 year olds, another condition that makes acting impossible, and this is a deeply unhuman and disturbing movie
 
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linebaugh

Well-known member
And it looks like dogshit. Somehow worse than 300. Im convinced that all the green screening was done in a utility closet. The movie feels claustrophibic despite the fact that currently the setting is outer space
 
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linebaugh

Well-known member
Massive tits on all the women in this. that was put in for the dads. A highlight of the writing so far is when the provincial teenage protsgonist is drooling over a pair and goes 'the gods genouosity know no bounds'
 

linebaugh

Well-known member
cant reiterate enough how small the green screen room must be. Ten minute long 1 v 6 fight scenes and the actors never move outside of a 5x5 foot square. No one can move with any more speed or agression than it takes to do the dishes because I assume the actors are afraid of accidentally running into the studio walls. And the whole movie is greenscreened.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
Looks mental - going by the trailer it appears to be somewhat deeper and a little more thoughtful than the football one I mentioned above, more realistic too.

Confused by this though
Massive tits on all the women in this. that was put in for the dads.

Do dads like large bosoms more than any healthy red-blooded male? Sadly we have none of the latter here to ask.

I wonder, is there a less erotic word than bosoms?
 

WashYourHands

Cat Malogen
He’s like a hairier Jason Statham. A producer has a slightly more shit film than The Stath would go for? Lightbulb - guess who’d do it and for less ££, your man shouty beard. Has he paired up with Gibson for Braveheart 2 yet? Matter of time

There are always terrible films but jfc, if Butler’s in it you’re cunted. Will he age gracefully like Segal? Become sheriff of Celtic Park? Grow a ponytail and wear reeboks? Who’s to tell but even when he dies his obituary will include multiple Sparta references by some wet Edinburgh accented Tristram

You have to feel for him a bit, at least The Krankies were an ontologically disturbing presence for Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
Oh I get it, you mean if a dad takes his young son to the cinema there is something for everyone to enjoy... kid is thinking "Yes! He has used the Magic Staff of Arantes to best the evil warrior queen!" and dad is thinking "Fucking yes! Look at the bangers on the warrior queen!" - kinda like how some of the better animated films for children - I'm thinking Kung-fu Panda here cos I seen that one - have the odd clever line that kids won't get to help long-suffering parents make it through the film. Except as I remember it KFP had some moments that truly were smart in themselves and which were cunningly inserted into the dialogue without sounding artificial - sticking in a few pairs of big bouncy milkers* doesn't really require the same level of inventiveness or wit.


*Trying to find a neutral, non-offensive way of saying this, opted for "milkers" - is that a good choice? Suppose for some reason I did need to discuss someone's chesticles in polite company, do you think milkers would be the way to go?
 
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IdleRich

IdleRich
He’s like a hairier Jason Statham. A producer has a slightly more shit film than The Stath would go for? Lightbulb - guess who’d do it and for less ££, your man shouty beard.

I hear this but surely - if we saw it acted out, or better still, drawn in panels like a cartoon - the process would be more like "The Stath won't do it" then we see the lightbulb... and then in the next panel it's "x won't do it either" followed by a panel with a slightly dimmer lightbulb etc The whole thing would be repeated several times until the panel in which the lighbulb is a puny candle and the man who (possibly) likes to be known as "The Butmeister" answers it and takes the role.

I don't know how many times the thing is repeated but I cannot believe he is as far up the hierarchy as to be "the poor man's Stath" - at best I'll allow him to be the "poor man's poor man's Stath".

My relationship with GB began when I saw that football film, there were flashbacks to him scoring the winner in the Champion's League final and I watched it idly wondering who the fuck the guy was and how we were ever supposed to believe that he could get with Catherine Zeta-Jones, then I googled and I was completely none-the-wiser. After about about fifteen minutes I was bored out of my skull and turned it off. Then some time later I was watching a film with a fat Scottish gangster inexplicably knobbing Milla Jovovich, and I googled to see who it was... the name Gerard Butler rang a distant bell but it was getting too late to watch that film (about 8pm) so I turned it off and started at the wall for a few hours instead. Then the other day Guy Ritchie's Rock-n-Rolla was on and amongst the cheeky cockernee gangsters was one with a Scottish accent who to my incredulous disbelief was being pursued sexually by Tom Hardy and Thandie Newton! I thought I'd seen this guy somewhere before maybe a few years back and I googled him and discovered that I'd seen him in two other films that day. I thought "this is weird" and then instantly totally forgot he existed until this thread revived my "interest" in him. So it seems that the guy has had a long career which, apart from the three films mentioned, seems to have run entirely parallel to everything I've ever seen.
 
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