This is an interesting sort of pretending, perhaps what Sufi meant, the act of pretending to yourself, which can be fraudulent and futile but can also be a way into something, a way of undercutting your own defense mechanisms
Like with that Bronx drill stuff I think there was definitely an element of me trying to imagine what would this sound like if I did like it, if I thought it was the best thing in the world -- and lo! The scales fell from my ears
yeah i think for me it's always been part of the process of getting into new kinds of music, i have to make myself be open to it, come to it on its own terms etc. generally i've found this is a rewarding thing to do. although my ability to do that comes and goes.
with UK drill in particular it was a case of assuming that there must be something there, and ignoring the aspects of it that i found offputting (coz in the end the bits that grate at the start are the bits that end up being the best bits). for some things that works. but in the end UK drill is just a million miles away from anything that resonates with me coz so much of it is about menace and it's a vibe that i've never been able to get into.
sometimes it is futile to try to get into a new sound. but sometimes its massively rewarding, the opening of a portal.