I am a dad and I smoke weed...

Which applies to you?

  • I am a parent and I DO NOT take drugs

    Votes: 13 14.1%
  • I am a parent and I take drugs

    Votes: 15 16.3%
  • I am NOT a parent and I DO NOT take drugs

    Votes: 25 27.2%
  • I am NOT a parent and I take drugs

    Votes: 39 42.4%

  • Total voters
    92

Loki

Well-known member
well, i can't see how drinking is compatible with children - we both pretty much stopped drinking when we had the kids - but we both occasionally do weed and mushrooms (or did before the ban - hanging around buying stuff off guys in tracksuits in pubs is a little incompatible) and I find these drugs entirely in sync with child-rearing, especially mushrooms because our littlest kids, 5 and 8, love nothing better than to sit with us and have our full attention and that's something very easy to give on mushrooms - we often do them after they've gone to bed but the loved up nature of mushrooms, properly taken etc, is such that if they do get up in the night we inevitably spend more time with them, chatting about kids things - Dr Who, The Universe, Time etc - in a way which would somehow get interrupted by 'straight' life.

i'm not advocating complete off yer face mentalness with the kids around (and I've not taken any other kind of drug since having them - ecstacy, ketamine, speed etc - for paranoid fear of dying and leaving them alone) but taking something that makes the world seem nicer can't be bad for your childish interactions can it?

And while we're at it - I don't quite go along with the kids change yer life thing either... my life was always pretty much about bike riding and rolling down hills and building sandcastles and throwing mud and talking crap and making stupid animations and drawing silly pictures and making up silly stories... i've never really enjoyed sophisticated adult fun (i've been to three proper dinner parties and two of them were utterly tedious)....i just feel less stupid doing 'childish' things now i've got little people to mess about with...
 

dominic

Beast of Burden
i doubt that i'll ever get married, let alone have kids

mainly b/c i'm emotionally dysfunctional and am addicted to the party life

but also b/c the only way to afford children, it seems, is to work long hours at a tedious job

or else you're rich

or you live in an area w/ a low cost of living
 

IKoss

Wild Horses
Fantastic thread...
Many of the notions herein have crossed my mind as well. In fact with seemingly no outlets for discussion. I would say I've been troubled even at times.

I am a quite young parent(single father, no less) in relation to my kids. I'm 29, my son is nearly 10, my daughter 7. At any rate, being that I was initially a child with children. I certainly began my parenthood as a means of duty, responsibiilty etc. Not a preferred decison. Therefore/obviously I was forced to alter the entire process of things. I can say that though, the tapering off of my 'habits' has been ongoing. I have after a decade, somehow decided that I do still find some personal benefits from these indulgences. Now I must quickly point out that my habits and my children have little to no interface with another. Save for the occasional beer or two they might see me consume on a weekday, or maybe several on a day off. Any of the pot smoke which might occur is neither seen nor spoken of to them. So for now anyways, is nonexistent. Also I seem to toggle back and forth between the smoke and drink tendencies. Not levels of, but just choice between. I rarely mix the two. For various reasons whch are less relevant, imo.

However I wanted to chime in on that note. But also I wanted to comment about the post regarding the use of other types of drugs and how they might seem to affect parenting. I have also through the years been able to sort of, 'outgrow' my urges to take any other types of drugs. With the exception of mdma. Accessibility, ie; not being able to gain access to it at will should not have anything to do with my urges... The degree to which I indulged(past) in any of these drugs should also not pertain, today?
The point I would make is that not only have I had many very considerably positive experiences with my kids while on x. But also that while my forcing of my self to 'grow up' too soon has had many adverse effects.
Some of these experiences have somehow been the bridge between where I was, where I wished I still was, and where my children are/were, and where we all needed to be...
In terms of an ends and a means. To me, it just doesnt get any better than that.
So contrary to what might be socially acceptable. I dont know that I can ever not want things to be like that. I also dont seem to be able to acheive that level of perception, quality of time spent, patience, empathy etc, while under typical daily circumstances.
So in spite of all of these things, and the rest of what is inevitable with life and parenting. I would suggest that parenting most definitely goes at the top of the list with regards to risk/reward scenarios, and also perpetual ironies...
lol
 

francesco

Minerva Estassi
Here in Mexico a lot of parents smoke cheap cocaine. No, drugs don't works for me, make feel me worse. Still no kids in my life, sadly.
 

stelfox

Beast of Burden
the only thing i'd disagree with you about, matt, is that "money and class has nothing to do with it". the pressures of poverty are pretty huge and invariably impact directly on parenting ability (and i don't mean the innate ability to parent well, just the means and circumstances to allow it) and the kind of life the child has. of course, this isn't cut and dried. i have seen kids from the worst areas of liverpool (i used to teach so do know a little bit about this - after all, school's where kids go after the parents have started to shape their lives) who were absolute little stars with voracious appetites for life and knowledge, all thanks to the constant love and encouragement of a set of parents who didn't have a pot to piss in. on the other hand, one boy who lived two doors down from this family on the same street and had a smackhead hooker for a mum was understandably a lot more difficult. this does bear up your point - you either do it well or you don't and it's hard work - but it's just a lot harder to do well in really rugged circumstances than it is in more comfortable ones. it's no coincidence that economic and social deprivation pretty much always go hand in hand. i don't smoke a great deal of weed, would really like to be a dad some time and agree wholeheartedly with the basic points of this thread: that the initial post on this topic wrongly confused and conflated self-satisfied, self-interested middlebrow apathy with the role of parent (which is just plain fucking bonkers) and that the human ability, and need, to step outside your own immediate desires to love and care for someone else (even if they are a direct extension of that self) isn't something to be trivialised or thrown in people's faces by deranged and misanthropik(?) philosofascists.
 
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bassnation

the abyss
stelfox said:
deranged and misanthropik(?) philosofascists.

this why when someone professes to want to save the world via marxism (insert your favoured political orthodoxy here) - which almost always involves berating others for not being foot soldiers in this enterprise - it sets alarm bells ringing.

how can you save people when secretly you despise and fear the masses?
 

Haze

New member
16/m/il

Hi i am not a parent but before i started smoking pot i was relly chronicly depressed to the point of suicide sence and i still do i was 8 but then i started smoking pot when i turned 14 im 16 now if i didnt start i propoly would be dead right now but the only problem is i dont know how to spell that well :D
 
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corneilius

Well-known member
Parenting

Fine thread, on one of the most important subjects for any humane being.

For good info on natural children, Alice Miller, Carl Rogers and Jean Leidloff have written some fantastic stuff ...... my daughter is 15, and I have utilised all the above in my 'learning' to be a parent - I had to literally throw out all my pre-concepts (and I had many ...) of parenting when she cam along, and had to start with her, who she was.

I was supported in this by a group called parentlink or parentline, that hosted weekly facillitation sessions that tough me much about how they way I was treated as a child had become the way I would treat my child, even though I swore I'd never do what was done to me, and that i'd be better - huh!

The early years have a profound impact upon the core psychology of the child and do determine the future adults core self-image and health ... much is forgotten, in order to survive, and what is forgotten remains .... if issues are not resolved, they are passed on in spite of best attempts ... children learn by feeling their parents as much as by seeing, and can sense and are confused by any incongruence, and they will do their best to adapt to it to 'fit in' - they have no choice really, for the parent is ALL they have.....

I was lucky.

Since then I have some to feel that an adults life is defined by how they leave the world for their children - do they leave a mess to clean up, or do they leave a sustainable and safe world. For what ever the parenting generation does not deal with, their children will be forced to deal with it.

Being a parent has politicised me in ways that have brought a deeper connection, a clarity and a more then determined activism........ positive parenting is the true role of all adults, whether they 'have' children or not, for those children belong to no-one, are not possesions or objects to complete what the parent has not completed for themselves (living through the children).

In the indigenous cultures, more often than not, parenting is shared by the whole community, and is thus better equipped to give the child a good sense of their own beingness, and thus a better inner quality of life........

My parents wanted me to be someone else, to be the right kind of heir to their legacy. And that is the worst thing that can happen to a child - I did get over it, I am over it, yet it is what our culture does to all it's children. It's best to let the child tell you who she/he is ...
 

luka

Well-known member
So strange aesthsticallh, the hair and the studio and everything. To talk about smoking weed?
 

version

Well-known member
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