N
nomadologist
Guest
wow frankie knuckles
Your most tenuous or absurd claims to fame
- Thread starter mos dan
- Start date
wow frankie knuckles
don_quixote
Trent End
i had an argument about ian mcculloch with someone who went to his daughters school
i met johnny morris grand daughter years ago and she told me loads of mental shit about johnny morris and terry nutkins.
i saw Barbara Windsor on the steps of the building i work in dressed in a pink cowboy outfit and pink cowboy hat recently, i could tell you why this isn't such an unusual thing to happen but i'd rather you guessed.
i saw Barbara Windsor on the steps of the building i work in dressed in a pink cowboy outfit and pink cowboy hat recently, i could tell you why this isn't such an unusual thing to happen but i'd rather you guessed.
woops
is not like other people
ok, i don't have many but
but... casting my mind back...
1> i've got the same sunglasses as the dissensus 'cool' smiley
2> once i was sick on the ground and i realised the ground was john peel
3> windows vista is named after me
4> i am the capital of france
5> my name is wiley and i am grimey, i am shystie and you can't get beside me
6> one day i was walking Ice Cube on a leash round the Jardins de Luxembourg, and Michael Winner complimented me on my nice bitch.
7> i was born in studio 1 on christmas day. a 3-year-old jacques derrida was the midwife
8> i travelled back through the crack to the land of bloodstains
9> when i got bored of my career as a shoe lace restorer after two days i hypnotised my neighbour into taking over the job, only for him to form dirty pretty things
10> i once smoked a fag whilst not thinking about the bloke from orange organics. next day his series was axed and he fell over
11> my mum invented the lightbulb, the mousetrap and electricity to impress the fucking comte de lautreamont, except it didnt work and he went off with Sofia Coppola instead, before she was famous
12> my sister's best friend's dad once had a cup of tea with albert einstein round at schoenberg's house, and i don't even have a sister
13> i scored a first class in nomadology from Brainiac U. whilst financing Brian May's $squillion a day habit by pimping Beyonce Knowles to Big Pharma before she was famous.
14> i got arrested for stealing michael winner's tan from the back seat of devin the dude's llama-drawn commode by john osborne when he was still in the police. fortunately kathy acker sent me a nail file in a cake baked by brigitte bardot and i dug a tunnel into k-punk's greenhouse and had a spliff with armando iannucci, who was visiting along with georges bataille (seemed like a nice bloke)
15> my media studies teacher at my public school once had a cup of tea with both of the twins from fun house, then married them both with tiger woods as the minister and brandon lee as best man, before you were famous
but... casting my mind back...
1> i've got the same sunglasses as the dissensus 'cool' smiley
2> once i was sick on the ground and i realised the ground was john peel
3> windows vista is named after me
4> i am the capital of france
5> my name is wiley and i am grimey, i am shystie and you can't get beside me
6> one day i was walking Ice Cube on a leash round the Jardins de Luxembourg, and Michael Winner complimented me on my nice bitch.
7> i was born in studio 1 on christmas day. a 3-year-old jacques derrida was the midwife
8> i travelled back through the crack to the land of bloodstains
9> when i got bored of my career as a shoe lace restorer after two days i hypnotised my neighbour into taking over the job, only for him to form dirty pretty things
10> i once smoked a fag whilst not thinking about the bloke from orange organics. next day his series was axed and he fell over
11> my mum invented the lightbulb, the mousetrap and electricity to impress the fucking comte de lautreamont, except it didnt work and he went off with Sofia Coppola instead, before she was famous
12> my sister's best friend's dad once had a cup of tea with albert einstein round at schoenberg's house, and i don't even have a sister
13> i scored a first class in nomadology from Brainiac U. whilst financing Brian May's $squillion a day habit by pimping Beyonce Knowles to Big Pharma before she was famous.
14> i got arrested for stealing michael winner's tan from the back seat of devin the dude's llama-drawn commode by john osborne when he was still in the police. fortunately kathy acker sent me a nail file in a cake baked by brigitte bardot and i dug a tunnel into k-punk's greenhouse and had a spliff with armando iannucci, who was visiting along with georges bataille (seemed like a nice bloke)
15> my media studies teacher at my public school once had a cup of tea with both of the twins from fun house, then married them both with tiger woods as the minister and brandon lee as best man, before you were famous
oh and i was introduced to Tyra Banks once, by a big TV executive, with other big TV executives standing around. i shook her hand: "good to meet you" and immediately after: "what you doing later? want to grab a beer or something?" it was clearly a joke but i think she was genuinely charmed / shocked by the audacity...
and i stood in line at health food store behind one of the Wayan brothers once. he had his hoody pulled over his face so nobody would recognize him. i wanted to say "dude chill. nobody gives a shit! not after White Chicks!" but didn't.
ahhhh LA... don't miss it at all.
and i stood in line at health food store behind one of the Wayan brothers once. he had his hoody pulled over his face so nobody would recognize him. i wanted to say "dude chill. nobody gives a shit! not after White Chicks!" but didn't.
ahhhh LA... don't miss it at all.
swears
preppy-kei
Nobody tell me what to do, no not me...
Nobody tell me what to say, can't you see...
I've got a dream I'm gonna make it,
If there's a chance I'm gonna take it,
With drums a thumpin', bass player pumpin'.
Keyboards and me on my guitar,
Won't let anything get in my way, no not me...
Won't listen to any-thing you say, can't you see...
I've got a dream I'm gonna make it,
If there's a chance I'm gonna take it,
With drums a thumpin', bass player pumpin'.
Keyboards and me and my guitar.
Grievous Angel
Beast of Burden
I called Keith Allen a twat while in a lift with the coked up, well, twat
I bet he shat himself.
Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
This reminds me of a good one a friend of mine has. We were at a club and he managed to get into a conversation with some other guy about favourite vegetables (my mate is a vegan, so they're a bit more important to him than to most people). The other guy said he really liked carrots, and my mate (who'd been drinking neat Jameson's) started getting a bit worked up, saying "What about peas? What about broccoli?"; the other guy began backing away and my mate effectively chased him into the toilets, yelling the names of vegetables at him, until the poor man bellowed "CARROTS, YOU CUNT!" at my mate and, having had lots of booze and/or drugs himself, was promptly sick on Andy Weatherall, who'd played earlier in the night and had the misfortune to be passing by at that moment.
It happened. I was there.
Edit: tell a lie, it was Keith Tenniswood.
Last edited:
Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
I should point out that my vegan friend is no Britisher, but a son of Eire.
They're the one country weirder than us.
in LA sometime ago a friend of mine jokingly called information for Georgio Moroder, because we had just been told that he lives in the hills somewhere (and she like, worships those donna summer productions), and against all odds, it was listed.
i carried the number in my cell phone for months to a year... and the only time i called, i was super drunk, at a party, and i saw it in my phone and was like fuck it I'm going to call -- a woman answered:
"hello?"
"hi, is Georgio there?"
"who is this?"
"well, um... I'm his number one fan" (retarded i know)
"do you know what time it is?"
"oh! i didn't realise it was so late! terribly sorry, please send Georgio my best."
"click"
ending is dissapointing sorry
i carried the number in my cell phone for months to a year... and the only time i called, i was super drunk, at a party, and i saw it in my phone and was like fuck it I'm going to call -- a woman answered:
"hello?"
"hi, is Georgio there?"
"who is this?"
"well, um... I'm his number one fan" (retarded i know)
"do you know what time it is?"
"oh! i didn't realise it was so late! terribly sorry, please send Georgio my best."
"click"
ending is dissapointing sorry
