martin

----
I’m well bored of it, and I was hardly prolific in the first place. It shouldn’t get to me that someone follows the #addbananastoafilm tag and tweets “The Bananas Who Loved Me” and gets 642 likes when I only get 9 for making a joke about typos on reggae labels – but it does. To make it worse, John Eden then RTs me AND one-ups me, and gets 15 likes, so I just think "losers, get a life" and log out.

Most of my feed is noise acts promoting their latest bandcamp release (one to three, daily) and Brexit moaning, with the odd RT about found shopping lists. Sadly, whoever did the Thai cooking account got bored and jacked it in around 2014.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
I’m well bored of it, and I was hardly prolific in the first place. It shouldn’t get to me that someone follows the #addbananastoafilm tag and tweets “The Bananas Who Loved Me” and gets 642 likes when I only get 9 for making a joke about typos on reggae labels – but it does. To make it worse, John Eden then RTs me AND one-ups me, and gets 15 likes, so I just think "losers, get a life" and log out.

I totally understand where you are coming from. One time I was walking through a shopping centre and I saw a big pic with an ad for this perfume company - Jo Malone I think they are called - and that gave me an idea for a BRILLIANT joke, I couldn't stop thinking about it all day, and then I got home and put on fb or twitter (who am i kidding, I put it on fb and twitter) - "They should get Macaulay Culkin to advertise Jo Malone" - and I got like one like in the next three hours, fucking sulked for ages. And when people did like it I was in such a bad mood I would say things like "Oh now you like it after four hours. Tough crowd".
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
Imagine how awful it must have been to have to watch shit like this on TV


You know Norris McWhirter? In fact who the fuck was Norris McWhirter? I just know he was on Record Breakers with Roy Castle which I guess is why he came into my head just now. On Record Breakers he was like the oracle who knew all the records or something I think, and I think maybe he did a section where he would talk about various records. But basically he was known for two things 1) as the world's biggest expert on world records and 2) as an indefatigable and bloodthirsty pro-death penalty campaigner - weird combination.

Anyhow I read this thing about how he was at some major political event as one of the speakers and he did this big thing about how we need to bring back the death penalty, a long rabble-rousing but powerfully researched piece of bombastic rhetoric that was calculated to sway anyone that heard it. And when he finished he said "OK, does anyone have any questions?" and loads of people put their hands up so he selected one of them and asked what their question was and they said "What's the biggest fish?".
 

Clinamenic

The Wild Drunkard
I totally understand where you are coming from. One time I was walking through a shopping centre and I saw a big pic with an ad for this perfume company - Jo Malone I think they are called - and that gave me an idea for a BRILLIANT joke, I couldn't stop thinking about it all day, and then I got home and put on fb or twitter (who am i kidding, I put it on fb and twitter) - "They should get Macaulay Culkin to advertise Jo Malone" - and I got like one like in the next three hours, fucking sulked for ages. And when people did like it I was in such a bad mood I would say things like "Oh now you like it after four hours. Tough crowd".
Its also possible that those who did like it, still didn't get it.

For example, I don't get it, probably because I have no idea what Jo Malone is, but I may have thrown you a like anyway.
 

Clinamenic

The Wild Drunkard
I'm getting the feeling that Rich is drafting a wall of text to absolutely obliterate me. I see he's been viewing this channel for a while now.
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
No he fucking doesn't, Tea always goes for the lowest common denominator of shitty pun. And he spends ages thinking them up which makes it even worse. Whereas I don't do anything like that, I'm just walking along and every now and then I get hit by a moment of undeniable genius and so I share it with you lucky fools, that's it. Whereas come 3am Mr Tea is sat at home with loads of balled up pieces of paper covered in crossings out all over the floor, his brow furrowed in brutish concentration. One hand holds his pencil into his mouth so he can absent mindedly chew on it, the other is vigorously and audibly scratching away at his sweaty bollocks while Anna is holding the baby and desperately saying "Please Ollie it's been a week, just leave it, we need to earn some money so we can eat" and Ollie's going "No fucking way - noone is leaving this table until we've thought of something that is funny and rhymes with Luka - and no I can't use Puker again, I used that for joke 27b in 2017 when he called me a Nazi although for some reason no one seemed to find it funny anyway which makes absolutely NO sense".
 
Top