which is the superior excuse?
- Thread starter STN
- Start date
This was my mum's reasoning after she threw over 200 back issues of 2000AD away when I was 13.
Sorry to say but your mum was completely right. "Nemesis the Warlock"? Nemesis the Fuckwit, more like.
STN
sou'wester
Never got over making my flatmate cry with this one. Felt teeeeeeeeerrrible.
swears
preppy-kei
Well, it was a mixed bag. Rave era 2000AD was quite cool and witty and satirical. Easier to get into than american comics too, you didn't have to read a million back issues to understand what was going on. Nemesis was funny, IMO.
STN
sou'wester
I like the implication that here that urinating in a friend's car would be fine...
I once threw a baking potato at some ponce who fancied a girl I was going out with, this was ages ago, he wished her happy Valentine's Day and I lost it and hurled the spud. She was really pissed off and told me I was immature but I said "I just don't want to see you get hurt, I know his sort" and she instantly calmed down - it was that easy! What a laugh
I have found a pretty foolproof way to get out of something is to accept no guilt in a Jedi mind trick sort of way. If you go on enough like you are guiltless, they'll find it hard to accuse.
For instance, someone has found you pissing in someone's car:
"What the fuck are you doing?"
"I'm taking a piss. Hold on, I'll be done in a minute."
You'd be surprised how much it works.
For instance, someone has found you pissing in someone's car:
"What the fuck are you doing?"
"I'm taking a piss. Hold on, I'll be done in a minute."
You'd be surprised how much it works.
I'm not sure, it was a friend's kitchen. If I'd thought it through properly I would have used a frying pan, Pauline Fowler style. Kitchen knives would've been OTT, I mean, I'm a twat sometimes, but not an utter cunt.
Broken bottle equivalent would be a scalding hot cup of McDonalds coffee, but again, you could hardly ask him to wait around while you went to the counter and ordered. I guess the moral of both our stories is, use whatever's at hand.
Hahaha, that's great.
Another one is if someone goes "Why are you late?" you say "The meeting started before I got here" or whatever it is you're late for.
This thread is like a Dissensus finishing school for surly cunts. I like it.
I was walking through Acton late one night years ago with a couple of pals. Three blokes were coming the other way, one of whom barged me, as if to 'start on me'. Some incredible reflex took over and without looking I threw my unappetising kebab (doner, chilli sauce, lemon juice and garlic gunge) backwards over my shoulder. It hit the bastard square in the face, according to my mates, as he turned to follow through with threats, sneers or punching. That knocked the fight out of him. I just carried on walking as if it was nothing to me. Owned.
I was walking through Acton late one night years ago with a couple of pals. Three blokes were coming the other way, one of whom barged me, as if to 'start on me'. Some incredible reflex took over and without looking I threw my unappetising kebab (doner, chilli sauce, lemon juice and garlic gunge) backwards over my shoulder. It hit the bastard square in the face, according to my mates, as he turned to follow through with threats, sneers or punching. That knocked the fight out of him. I just carried on walking as if it was nothing to me. Owned.
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Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
And then some! I can't imagine chilli sauce in the eyes is too pleasant. Nice work.
And this didn't escalate into a full-on shirts-off Mcfight-to-the-death?
In most scenarios where two things are thrown at each other you can almost hear the Street Fighter guy descend from the heavens and shout "Round 1... Fight!"
How this didn't happen interests me more. He threw a glass bottle at you!