And yet many of the essayists in TCAE seem oddly determined not to think clearly. They consider many options, it’s true, but existence is usually too chaotic for anything further. In lieu of a final, definite decision (which would require perspective, that problematic thing), the essayists leave behind a mess of maybes and perhapses and hot, urgent rhetorical questions that dare you to scream yes! or no! or sure, why not, who cares! It is difficult to convey the experience of getting through hundreds and hundreds of these kinds of questions: “Perhaps that’s going too far” (O’Gieblyn) … “perhaps I’m falling into confusion” (Emily Fox Gordon) … “Perhaps this is enough of a reason to journey on” (Yiyun Li)… “Perhaps the first rule of everything we endeavor to do is to pay attention” (Barry Lopez) … “this is perhaps instructive” (good old Monson, failing to instruct) … “Perhaps I’m projecting” (Gordon again).
I could go on, but then I’d be falling into the same trap many of these essayists fall into — privileging what feels true over what’s demonstrably true, wallowing in the anecdotal without so much as a touch of dry precision.