sadmanbarty
Well-known member
1) I have a close family member who was anally raped at the age of 10 who happens to be very fond of pedophile jokes, so there’s nothing innately insensitive or immoral about making such jokes. Gallows humor is present throughout the world and throughout history and doesn’t reflect on the moral character of those who enjoy it or partake in it.
That being said- and as somebody who’s made more nonce jokes on here than anyone- this is a public forum and we don’t know the life experiences that other users have had. Refraining from talking about pedophilia is probably the most tactful thing to do, especially given that some users have flagged up a discomfort with it. I'm sorry if I've upset users in the past with that sort of thing.
2) The pedo-vibraphone comparison is a funny bit of situational synesthesia that some users experience and some don’t. It’s not a personal attack on you Third. I happen to like the vibraphone and also find the joke funny, I didn't take it as an insult. You’ve made lots of naughty jokes in the past (as I have and as Luke has as) so we can’t go around saying that certain jokes are beyond the pale. As it happens the titular “baked bean cum” derives from a pedo joke you made on the Billie Eilsih thread.
Third, if someone has a different taste in music from you it’s not a reflection of some character flaw on their part or their dislike from you personally. The best thing to do if you disagree with someone about music is to agree to disagree. So what if someone thinks vibraphones are a bit dodgy? So what if someone thinks drill has an interesting cultural energy? They may well be completely wrong, but it doesn’t matter. The forum just gets clogged up if you try and right ever wrong and try to convert everyone to one way of thinking (I’ve done this myself and was thankfully stopped by Corpse).
Luke literally made a whole thread about the music I liked being soulless. I didn’t get upset or offended. I didn’t try to prove he was wrong at every opportunity. In fact I joined in and played around with the premise and actually ended up coming up with some ideas that I liked.
3) I don’t recognise this “self-consciousness” of the forum. To be blunt the only user that makes me feel self-conscious is you Third; I second guess myself about posting because I’m anticipating offence or vitriol just for liking a song or having an idea.
This may well be my own over-sensitivity. Version and Mvuent have pointed out that I can just ignore it, which is fair enough.
However Bellwoods is a user we don’t hear much from and they started a thread that loads of us were interested to engage with and then suddenly there’s this thread which- from what I gather- is saying that Bellwoods and anyone who engages with his thread is a “cum slurping cunt”. As Jess said, the emotional energy of this thread seems angry rather than funny or putting forward an actual idea.
4) So how about in future we strive to have threads that engage lots of different users who all express different (often contradictory) views in a light-hearted and interesting way. We don’t try to unilaterally shut down threads. We don’t resent people for engaging in something. If people are enjoying something we don’t burst in and unconstructively trash it and tell them they're terrible people. We don’t get angry if people aren’t engaging with our particular niche interests. We don’t hold on to grudges or persistently try and change people’s paradigms or aesthetic sensibilities. We don’t view disagreements some personal clash of characters. We just have a laugh, post some songs, comment on those songs and come up with some theories. It doesn’t matter if we agree with everything everyone says. Let this place be just a warm, fun place to be. There’s no need for an old grime forum to be clogged up with so much emotional baggage. Its just a bit fun.
This isn't all about you third. I'm guilty of a lot of this as well and I've seen it in other users from time to time. It's just some stuff I've realised makes the forum run better instead of having this perpetual boom and bust.
That being said- and as somebody who’s made more nonce jokes on here than anyone- this is a public forum and we don’t know the life experiences that other users have had. Refraining from talking about pedophilia is probably the most tactful thing to do, especially given that some users have flagged up a discomfort with it. I'm sorry if I've upset users in the past with that sort of thing.
2) The pedo-vibraphone comparison is a funny bit of situational synesthesia that some users experience and some don’t. It’s not a personal attack on you Third. I happen to like the vibraphone and also find the joke funny, I didn't take it as an insult. You’ve made lots of naughty jokes in the past (as I have and as Luke has as) so we can’t go around saying that certain jokes are beyond the pale. As it happens the titular “baked bean cum” derives from a pedo joke you made on the Billie Eilsih thread.
Third, if someone has a different taste in music from you it’s not a reflection of some character flaw on their part or their dislike from you personally. The best thing to do if you disagree with someone about music is to agree to disagree. So what if someone thinks vibraphones are a bit dodgy? So what if someone thinks drill has an interesting cultural energy? They may well be completely wrong, but it doesn’t matter. The forum just gets clogged up if you try and right ever wrong and try to convert everyone to one way of thinking (I’ve done this myself and was thankfully stopped by Corpse).
Luke literally made a whole thread about the music I liked being soulless. I didn’t get upset or offended. I didn’t try to prove he was wrong at every opportunity. In fact I joined in and played around with the premise and actually ended up coming up with some ideas that I liked.
3) I don’t recognise this “self-consciousness” of the forum. To be blunt the only user that makes me feel self-conscious is you Third; I second guess myself about posting because I’m anticipating offence or vitriol just for liking a song or having an idea.
This may well be my own over-sensitivity. Version and Mvuent have pointed out that I can just ignore it, which is fair enough.
However Bellwoods is a user we don’t hear much from and they started a thread that loads of us were interested to engage with and then suddenly there’s this thread which- from what I gather- is saying that Bellwoods and anyone who engages with his thread is a “cum slurping cunt”. As Jess said, the emotional energy of this thread seems angry rather than funny or putting forward an actual idea.
4) So how about in future we strive to have threads that engage lots of different users who all express different (often contradictory) views in a light-hearted and interesting way. We don’t try to unilaterally shut down threads. We don’t resent people for engaging in something. If people are enjoying something we don’t burst in and unconstructively trash it and tell them they're terrible people. We don’t get angry if people aren’t engaging with our particular niche interests. We don’t hold on to grudges or persistently try and change people’s paradigms or aesthetic sensibilities. We don’t view disagreements some personal clash of characters. We just have a laugh, post some songs, comment on those songs and come up with some theories. It doesn’t matter if we agree with everything everyone says. Let this place be just a warm, fun place to be. There’s no need for an old grime forum to be clogged up with so much emotional baggage. Its just a bit fun.
This isn't all about you third. I'm guilty of a lot of this as well and I've seen it in other users from time to time. It's just some stuff I've realised makes the forum run better instead of having this perpetual boom and bust.
