The year of the Iranian embassy siege, my catholic school took volunteers to Lourdes to support and assist disabled people from the local church find whatever it is you find in a bunk shrine.
One specific Mass stood out. We’d just done the stations of the cross walk, pretty knackering for a primary school kid. You walk past these tented baths, choc full of the dying, cuing in line to be immersed in a watery cure. Proceed to cathedral for the big off. Every conceivable form of catholic style and imagery was present that day, but the most unnerving was the extremely heightened state of emotion among the throng outside waiting. You could feel it in the air, crackling, merciless abandon.
When they started the service, the biggest swaying incense orb imaginable was swung black and forth from the ceiling in front of the pulpit. I can still smell it. Then about 2000 people, everyone apart from myself and a few other confused souls, spontaneously started crying. And not just any normal form of emoting. I mean hysterical, unannounced, heaving, snot-heavy, air-gulping tears of something I’ve never come close to understanding (or wanting to understand). If there was a cue, a trigger, or whatever, for this I definitely missed it. The epitome of manipulation of the weird imho.
When I got home never went to mass or confession again, got into a secular comprehensive school asap. Ritual has a place, but, just leave the kids at home eh.