The Antisocial Libido

[version]

Would you distinguish that from voyeurism?

 

[Clinamenic]

Would you distinguish that from voyeurism?

I guess that just depends on whether or not the voyeur in question also likes having sex with people and watching others is just an additional kink, or if they exclusively watch others without participating. Also voyeur (to me at least) has a connotation of watching people live, either remotely or IRL, consensually or non-consensually.

 

[Clinamenic]

I feel like voyeurism also involves either knowing that the people you’re watching know that you’re watching, or it involves the taboo of them not knowing that you’re watching - but either way, there seems to be that element of awareness or unawareness, rather than, say, watching any old porn video.

All that said, I don’t see why an autochirosexual person couldn’t also be a voyeur, at least based on my understanding.

 

[linebaugh]

So really its people that are completely satisfied with masterbating to porn and dont have any desire to try and have actual sex?

 

[Clinamenic]

So really its people that are completely satisfied with masterbating to porn and dont have any desire to try and have actual sex?

Yeah and even masturbation isn’t technically essential, as I understand the term - it’s basically a sort of asexuality where you can still feel arousal, whether you act on it or not, but that arousal doesn’t extend to a desire to sexually engage with others.

 

[Clinamenic]

Cause it felt weird considering myself just asexual, because to me that term has a connotation of essentially being unarousable, but now it seems to me that ‘asexual’ is a broader umbrella term for people with little to no interest in having sex, and there are probably a bunch of other more specific terms like ‘autochirosexual’

Before I came across this term, I was thinking ‘parasexual’ would be a semantically sound term, along the lines of ‘parasocial’, but then I thought that term might give the impression of being into paraplegics or something haha.

 

[Clinamenic]

So really its people that are completely satisfied with masterbating to porn and dont have any desire to try and have actual sex?

Also could have to do with an actual aversion to sex, or a fear/anxiety re: intimacy, which I can relate to as well. But it seems the main point is that the actual desire to have sex is weak to non-existent, anxieties notwithstanding, IE other people may have a desire to have sex but this desire is inhibited by anxiety.

What’s also interesting is that none of this necessarily has a bearing on one’s desire to be in a romantic relationship.

 

[Clinamenic]

Anyway, I’m wondering if the prevalence of online porn, and how it conditions adolescent sexuality, correlates with any increase in young people self-identifying this way.

 

[linebaugh]

Seems like alot of the people youre describing are arroused by people and the idea of sex, but the ways one has to go about getting into a position to have sex is so incongruent that they dont even consider it, a thusly its unrelated to anxiety. Which is valid but makes the idea of it as an 'orientation' feel a little off- like these people are stil sexual they just arent that interested in having sex, which isnt too uncommon, albeit extreme in this case. Its just a semantic debate but this is the sort of thing in which semantics are important

 

[linebaugh]

Anyway, I’m wondering if the prevalence of online porn, and how it conditions adolescent sexuality, correlates with any increase in young people self-identifying this way.

I dont think porn is going to prevent people from feeling incomplete, or erase the desire to feel wanted, but I do think the internet in total could fill that role, particuarly on young people, and porn could work in tandem by solving the physical side and result in select groups of people feeling satisfied with a 'sex life' like that

 

[linebaugh]

Ive felt bad about not having sex before and it was because I felt like I was barred from a large part of the human experience. Like everyone else was engaged in a conspiracy that I was left out of. Maybe if I was on dissensus at the time Id never have had sex again

 

[WashYourHands]

 

[Mr. Tea]

Before I came across this term, I was thinking ‘parasexual’ would be a semantically sound term, along the lines of ‘parasocial’, but then I thought that term might give the impression of being into paraplegics or something haha.

The world's most specific kink: getting turned on by going paragliding with paraplegic paralegals from Paraguay.

 

[Clinamenic]

The world's most specific kink: getting turned on by going paragliding with paraplegic paralegals from Paraguay.

Yeah once you find out, mid-flight, that the paralegal was actually born in Uruguay and was only raised in Paraguay, the whole affair loses its eroticism.

 

[Mr. Tea]

Yeah once you find out, mid-flight, that the paralegal was actually born in Uruguay and was only raised in Paraguay, the whole affair loses its eroticism.

Ugh, I hate it when that happens. Total buzzkill.

 

[Clinamenic]

Ive felt bad about not having sex before and it was because I felt like I was barred from a large part of the human experience. Like everyone else was engaged in a conspiracy that I was left out of. Maybe if I was on dissensus at the time Id never have had sex again

Yeah this was a prominent feeling for me too, in high school and the first year of college. Even then, I wasn’t interested in the experience of sex itself, but I was super compelled to have sex, just so that I didn’t feel like a failure in that regard.

 

[luka]

someone was saying to me that kids like birds eye waffles better than fruit becasue a fruit is not a reliable expereince. most fruit is disappointing. every once in a while it's amazing but mostly its disappointing. a processed food product is always the same. a reliable sugar-salt-fat hit every time.

 

[Clinamenic]

someone was saying to me that kids like birds eye waffles better than fruit becasue a fruit is not a reliable expereince. most fruit is disappointing. every once in a while it's amazing but mostly its disappointing. a processed food product is always the same. a reliable sugar-salt-fat hit every time.

Yeah Mother Nature often struggles to find product-market fit with some of these things.

 

[WashYourHands]

“Libido is not only what we want but what they want too”

 

[mixed_biscuits]

someone was saying to me that kids like birds eye waffles better than fruit becasue a fruit is not a reliable expereince. most fruit is disappointing. every once in a while it's amazing but mostly its disappointing. a processed food product is always the same. a reliable sugar-salt-fat hit every time.

Nanny State must compel greater variability in processed foods than exists in natural foods.