Middle age matesmanship and the pit

[luka]

becasue you have all gone past the point of no return you correctly identified

 

[luka]

the self which was once malleable with all that future ahead of it to eat up is now trapped in amber

 

[luka]

you watch with horror as their bodies swell and bloat. they become prickly and pompous. they repeat themselves, telling the same stories again and again, not just each time you see them but multiple times throughout the night.

 

[luka]

what they wanted to be they know now they will never be, they know now that they are human paste.

 

[luka]

there was never anything special about them. they realise that now.

 

[luka]

some have kids which allows them to say, well i wasnt special in the end, but maybe the kid will be.

 

[mixed_biscuits]

they repeat themselves, telling the same stories again and again, not just each time you see them but multiple times throughout the night.

Just be thankful they haven't brought a projector with which to show graphs.

 

[catalog]

good thread lads well done

 

[luka]

if i have been a good influence or even inspirational to anyone, and a few people will tell you i have, which is nice, it is probably to do with a a quasi religious worldview and a quasi religious sense of mission, which is to say i've nurtured cultivated jealousy guarded and protected the mild amount of schizophrenia i possess.

 

[luka]

so that ive always managed to keep alive a sense that it matters and that personal values are important and what guide me over and above social values, and sticking doggedly to my own path

 

[luka]

and i can also be good company when im in the mood. i can listen and i can respond thoughtfully and im funny and all that humanistic warm fug stuff too.

 

[luka]

but on the other hand i leave a lot of bodies strewn around. so my conscience is not entirely free and easy.

 

[luka]

its always made me angry and defensive and outraged to read psychoanalytic accounts of 'the schizoid character' becasue it is basically the creative artistic character the introvert the builder of inner worlds etc and they make us out to be incel freaks

 

[luka]

so i deliberately learned to be more overbearing and boorish than anyone

 

[luka]

i do think you have to be clear eyed about the fact that these people want to bulldoze your walled garden and flatten you out and make you merge with their clone army

 

[luka]

so you have to learn how to be vicious and cunning

 

[luka]

should clarify that when i say personal values i dont think of them as being mine alone some private subjective thing, but as something we share but dont acknowledge

 

[catalog]

there could be a more middle way now you've reached where you are. a different path to it.

 

[catalog]

should clarify that when i say personal values i dont think of them as being mine alone some private subjective thing, but as something we share but dont acknowledge

this would be that imaginative commons?

 

[luka]

yeah that stuff