Poetry in translation/reading in other languages

[version]

The Panther : In Jardin des Plantes, Paris
by Rainer Maria Rilke

German Sein Blick ist vom Vorübergehn der Stäbe so müd geworden, daß er nichts mehr hält. Ihm ist, als ob es tausend Stäbe gäbe und hinter tausend Stäben keine Welt. Der weiche Gang geschmeidig starker Schritte, der sich im allerkleinsten Kreise dreht, ist wie ein Tanz von Kraft um eine Mitte, in der betäubt ein großer Wille steht. Nur manchmal schiebt der Vorhang der Pupille sich lautlos auf –. Dann geht ein Bild hinein, geht durch der Glieder angespannte Stille – und hört im Herzen auf zu sein.

English His gaze against the sweeping of the bars has grown so weary, it can hold no more. To him, there seem to be a thousand bars and back behind those thousand bars no world. The soft the supple step and sturdy pace, that in the smallest of all circles turns, moves like a dance of strength around a core in which a mighty will is standing stunned. Only at times the pupil’s curtain slides up soundlessly — . An image enters then, goes through the tensioned stillness of the limbs — and in the heart ceases to be. - English translation by Stanley Appelbaum

English His vision, from the constantly passing bars, has grown so weary that it cannot hold anything else. It seems to him there are a thousand bars; and behind the bars, no world. As he paces in cramped circles, over and over, the movement of his powerful soft strides is like a ritual dance around a center in which a mighty will stands paralyzed. Only at times, the curtain of the pupils lifts, quietly--. An image enters in, rushes down through the tensed, arrested muscles, plunges into the heart and is gone. - English translation by Stephen Mitchell

English His gaze has, from the passing of the bars, grown so weary that it cannot hold. To him, there seem to be thousand bars and behind those thousand bars no world. The smooth pace, the strong and supple stride, that circles in the smallest space, is like a dance of force around a middle, in which a strong will’s paralysed. Only at times the pupil’s veil lifts without a sound –. An image enters, moving through the body's rigid hush- and in the heart ceases to be. - English translation by A.F.

 

[Corpsey]

See German to English is somewhat more 'straight' a translation, grammatically

Cos we speak Saxon, innit

 

[version]

I put your comment about the villa through a translation program a few times and it's interesting to see the way it changes as you flick back and forth, stack up the languages and translate it into, say, Italian then French then Arabic then Japanese before translating it back into English.

Sometimes it's exaggerated enough to hit the place,
such as going home to a palace that you thought burned down as soon as the Roman emperor killed your child,
something you think is dead.

 

[Benny Bunter]

The two most impressive poetry translation jobs I've seen have taken two pretty much polar opposite approaches, Pound's translations of the French troubadours, Cavalcanti and the Seafarer out of Anglo Saxon, and Pierre Joris' translations of Paul Celan.

Pound doesn't translate the words but laboured for a long time to translate the original poet's images and rhythms to create a new poem in English. It's amazing to see his translations of sonnets and stuff side by side with the originals. His stuff out of Latin is really good as well, wish he'd done more of that instead of spending so much time on Chinese/Japanese, which are quite dull.

Joris' versions of Celan OTOH go for the word for word literal approach with Celan and goes deep into researching the etymology, which really works in this case cos Celan was writing in a made-up language of his own, going way beyond standard German. There's no attempt to make them sound more lyrical in English, but it works cos the originals are also very weird for even German readers, plus he provides really extensive notes about his research so you really get a lot out of the poems.

 

[version]

Beckett translated some of his own stuff.

 

[Benny Bunter]

Yeah, that must have been pretty straightforward for him though, translating his own work back into his first language. The hard part must have been writing it first in his second language, which I suppose he did to get a sort of distancing effect or something

 

[Benny Bunter]

 

[Benny Bunter]

The technical skill and depth of reading needed to be able to produce a translation like that can't be overstated - amazing really. And he did tons of these sonnets and ballatas, must have took him years.

 

[Benny Bunter]

.

If I rubbed a linguistic lamp and was granted one other language, no learning required, I wonder what it'd be? French? Italian? (Dare I say it) Greek?

Latin would probably the most useful if it was just to aid your reading I reckon. I've found my Spanish has really helped me, like I can look at Italian and Portuguese stuff, even French, and more or less understand it written down (listening/speaking of course is a whole other matter) but having a Latin base would be great.

 

[version]

Yeah, that must have been pretty straightforward for him though, translating his own work back into his first language. The hard part must have been writing it first in his second language, which I suppose he did to get a sort of distancing effect or something

I think he did some stuff the other way too, English to French.

 

[Benny Bunter]

I think he did some stuff the other way too, English to French.

Oh, I didn't know. That is a million times harder obviously. You can have a very very high level in a second language, lived there for years, and it will still be very difficult to translate into it naturally from your first language, especially 'literature'. I suppose we're not talking about just anyone though.

Blown away by Godot and Endgame btw, nice one for spurring me on to finally checking Beckett out with that thread.

 

[luka]

Luke, last year you wrote a little poem about biofilms which has been published in the Newsletter of the International Biodederioration and Biodegradation Society (IBBS) (a name like an accident). It sits on p. 16, and I have attached the website for your information: https://ibbsonline.org/recentnews/

 

[version]

Oh, I didn't know. That is a million times harder obviously. You can have a very very high level in a second language, lived there for years, and it will still be very difficult to translate into it naturally from your first language, especially 'literature'. I suppose we're not talking about just anyone though.

Blown away by Godot and Endgame btw, nice one for spurring me on to finally checking Beckett out with that thread.

Just looked it up and apparently Murphy was the one he wrote in English then translated into French.

 

[Benny Bunter]

Just looked it up and apparently Murphy was the one he wrote in English then translated into French.

That's unusual. I wonder what the French thought of it?

Just learned recently Edgar Allen Poe was massive in France for some reason and Baudelaire translated him. I don't really get the French at all, was a pretty terrible writer wasn't he?

 

[Benny Bunter]

Luke, last year you wrote a little poem about biofilms which has been published in the Newsletter of the International Biodederioration and Biodegradation Society (IBBS) (a name like an accident). It sits on p. 16, and I have attached the website for your information: https://ibbsonline.org/recentnews/

 

[Benny Bunter]

No idea how you can concentrate on writing a poem with these blokes standing around staring at you like that

 

[luka]

i dont concentrate, just write any old shit. they seem to like it.

 

[Benny Bunter]

ESTRAGON: Everything oozes.
VLADIMIR: Look at the tree.
ESTRAGON: It's never the same pus from one second to the next.

 

[Benny Bunter]

Slime is of the essence

 

[Benny Bunter]

Very clever, well done. Went right over those blokes' heads I bet