First off, I've been acting feminine since I was born. Don't ever get it twisted.
Birth determines race, but behavior determines gender. So your false equivalence fails because anyone's gender can change depending on their behavior, whereas a person's behavior can never change their race. When it comes to Rachel Dolezal, there were empirical facts that disproved her claim to be black, namely, the fact that her parents were white. No facts can serve as evidence that prove someone's identification as a member of a particular gender identity group is true or false. The only facts that show us that a person is indeed feminine is their feminine behavior.
Now we know that femininity is marginalized by phallic culture. Phallic culture assumes essentialism, it only allows us the conceptual resources to recognize masculine men and feminine women. So you may say that you never saw me do anything feminine. But we already know that the heteronormative, mainstream community refuses to understand any man as feminine. Why would you avoid making the same mistake. You even said before, you like the phallus.
Furthermore, why would I lie about my gender identity? To avoid misgendering people, we need to trust that every person authentically identifies as a member of their gender, in other words that they are no lying when they tell us what gender they are. Now, maybe some bad faith actors out there do exist that lie about their identity. The only way we can know they lied about their identities is if their behavior changes and they identify as a different gender. So yes, I might stop being a feminine man if I stop acting feminine and identify as a masculine man. But I know best whether or not I do indeed act feminine, because no one knows better what a person's identity is than that person themselves. For the sake or respect and refraining from misgendering people we should never accuse someone of lying about their gender identification. I respect everyone because no matter what you identify as, I will acknowledge you as a member of that group. Just identifying as black and acting black doesn't make you black, you have to be born black. But identifying as feminine and acting feminine does make you feminine. You can claim all you want that you've never seen me act feminine but you don't know my life as well as I do. For the sake of respect you should trust everyone's self-identifications. Because to identify as a particular gender is to make a commitment to acting like that gender, and even if you don't see me acting feminine, my self-identification as feminine is a commitment I made, and you won't know that I've given up on that commitment until I say so.
Imagine telling a bisexual man that he's not bisexual because he hasn't had sex with enough men. The fact is, that bisexual man knows his desires, fantasies, and self-image better than you ever will. And he made the commitment to identify as bisexual. You should respect that commitment. To deny the other's self-expression is phallic disrespect and repression of the other.
Imagine telling a transwomen they're not a real woman because they don't act feminine enough. You're doing the same thing to me. The fact is, no matter how much a black person "acts white", they will still be black because our actions can't change our race.
