If I'd read LOTR as a teen I would 100% have been an internet rapper called Tom Bomb-Da-IllCorpse doesn't have a thing because he's like Tom Bombadil.
you once posted your online rapper name and i googled it but i couldn't find any examples sadly
Old Tom Bombadil was a merry fellow;
bright blue his jacket was and his boots were yellow,
green were his girdle and his breeches all of leather;
he wore in his tall hat a swan-wing feather.
He lived up under Hill, where the Withywindle
ran from a grassy well down into the dingle.