Police hunt Phantom Train Shitter

L

Lichen

Well-known member
"If anyone sees this man travelling on the railway network, they should not approach him, but call the police or alert train staff immediately."

I guess he'll be recongisable due to his pants being round his ankles.:eek:
 
M

martin

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Obviously I don't endorse this mucky pup, but don't you think he should start shitting into a newspaper, bringing it onto the train and THEN quickly smearing it across the seats? Would be easier for the bounder to avoid capture than if he continues to carry out his heinous crimes 'live'.
 
john eden

john eden

male pale and stale
BTI in "not endorsing defecation on public transport" shocker!!! :D

Well obviously a number of assumptions are being made here - especially that it is a pre-meditated act. For example, he may be suffering from incontinence, AND memory loss, which makes the whole thing difficult for him to address personally.

However it is clearly more entertaining to think it's some kind of exhibitionistic vandalism.

I am sure there is a power electronics band gearing up for an entire albumentitled "XXXXX - sadist and train-shitter" when the bloke's name eventually emerges after his capture.

Perhaps it will all turn out to be a very literal comment on the level of service commuters on that line are receiving?
 
swears

swears

preppy-kei
I remember seeing a huge log on a bench once at a train station by my nan's.
I couldn't decide whether somebody had done it as a prank or was just dying to go -maybe both.
 
STN

STN

sou'wester
A friend of mine used to be in the habit of sending shit to teachers at school. I shall never forget his advice to 'put it in a bag in the freezer first, so it's nice and fresh when it arrives'. Mind you, I'll never act on it either. Awful.

I don't see him any more, so I can't get the lowdown on what he considered a shit-mailing offence.
 
M

martin

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Used to be a kid at our school who would take a shit directly into a few sheets of bogroll, then wrap it up like a small parcel and lob it at people, where it'd explode on contact.

The worst scat story I've heard is so vile I won't repeat it here, but someone once told me about a sexual practice known as 'frosting', which I'm not sure I believe, but involves, er...well, has anyone else heard of it?
 
STN

STN

sou'wester
Much like frosting, it's far too horrible to go into on an internet message board. I sort of suspect they're the same thing...
 
M

martin

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No, it's much worse, I just looked on Urban Dictionary. 'Frosting' is like 'Space Docking' definition 2, but definition 1's in even worse, er, taste...
 
M

martin

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Well, that's the kind of sick perversion we're up against. The train-shitter's mind has obviously been reduced to a fetid sewer by the horrors of this coprophiliac subculture. Hang the bastard - <i>IT MIGHT BE YOUR CHILDREN NEXT</i>
 
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