Neymar has announced that he is, like AJP Taylor before him, “excited to write history”. And no doubt excited to some lesser degree by his £138m salary, the three dedicated supercars (Bentley, Aston Martin, Lamborghini) plus four Mercedes G-Wagons and a luxury chauffeured van to be kept “available at all times”. Other non-negotiable demands include a house with three saunas, a pool “at least 40 metres long”, seven full-time workers, including a sous chef to work – keep up – with Neymar’s own head chef, plus, in a moment of semi-caricature, a guaranteed supply of açaí juice and Guaraná drinks in his fridge. Oh, and he needs a private plane. Plus all expenses for his 30-strong entourage to be covered by the Saudi state, also known, under what we must call Newcastle Rules, as Al-Hilal FC.