One time I was visiting my girlfriend (at the time) at her uni and her flatnates were playing footie so I went and kicked the ball about with them, played pretty well and they were obviously impressed cos it turned out they played in a team and they had a game next day and they asked me to play for em. And I think they told them I was really good, was gonna boss the game, they stuck me in centre mid which is my worst position, I'm terrible at heading. I had to play in this borrowed kit that was way too small, the boots had this massive hole down the side and I could barely stand never mind run. The game consisted of the keepers lumping it into midfield where I lost every single challenge and then, to cap it all I gave away a terrible and unnecessary penalty with a dreadfully mistimed challenge about five minutes behind the ball, it felt as though I was at the centre of this circle of people staring at me in horror and I wanted the ground to swallow me up... we lost 2 - 1, it was entirely my fault and it capped the most excruciating 90 min of my life. Though in my defence I dunno how well anyone could have done in those boots.