This week's most embarrassing criminal

IdleRich

IdleRich

IdleRich
Kieron Francis's lawyer said his client "suffers anxiety and depression" and claimed he would not have behaved that way were he not on medication
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Why couldn't he just go fuck a horse like people in this situation usually do?
 
Mr. Tea

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
These 'freeman on the land' jokers just keep making for such wonderful local news stories.

www.sloughobserver.co.uk

Man claims his birth certificate should stand trial, not him

A MAN charged with criminal damage and possession of a weapon is trying to get his case dismissed claiming the prosecution are ‘criminals…
www.sloughobserver.co.uk www.sloughobserver.co.uk

“The prosecution has not identified me and what ‘me’ is. They came to visit this living soul but they have yet to give me full disclosure of who the defendant is and if the prosecution could put their hand on the shoulder of the defendant I’d appreciate that.”

He went on to say that he was not ‘Waseem Malik’ and did not want to be referred to as ‘Sir’ or ‘Mr’.

When asked by Judge Burgess what he would like to be referred to as, he responded: “A flesh and blood man.”

“A man and a person are two different things,” he said. “They’re prosecuting the man. The abducted me, they kidnapped me and they cuffed me and they locked me up and they tortured me - they are committing treason, they are criminals.

“When you are born a birth certificate is created. That birth certificate can now be used as identification. That birth certificate is the man you’re looking for – that birth certificate becomes the person.”
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Mr. Tea

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
Yeah, good luck with that mate.

www.mylondon.news

Serial burglar argues London court is French in bizarre courtroom appearance

Paul McKenna made a series of increasingly barmy arguments as he looked to avoid being sentenced
www.mylondon.news www.mylondon.news

McKenna then shifted tact, asking if the Crown could really know it was in fact him in the dock when he had previously given 23 aliases to police during previous arrests. "If those are alias names, how can the Crown accept my name?" McKenna suggested. "Because you just gave your name," Judge Turner sighed, recalling how McKenna had confirmed his identity as the hearing began.

Revising his argument again, McKenna said: "I accept who I am but I do not actually accept it's an alias name." Undeterred by McKenna's baffling logic, Judger Turner said: "So it's 22 aliases instead of 23." McKenna asked: "Can the Crown confirm that?" Judge Turner barked: "It's irrelevant."

But McKenna was not finished. In his final, and perhaps most, bizarre attempt to avoid his sentence, he pointed to the coat of arms adorning the courtroom wall, which reads 'Dieu Et Mon Droit', and said: "If you look behind you, your actual law is written in French."

"What on earth has that got to do with today's proceedings?" Judge Turner snapped. "So what do you think about French law?" McKenna said. "The law of England and Wales applies in this courtroom. French law does not apply in this courtroom," Judge Turner explained. McKenna had no answer and sat back down in the dock.
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