The press release hall of shame thread

S

SecondLine

Well-known member
"This is [label name] calling on to raise the arms and cross them to form an X overhead. Dare to connect hungry lips on the gently snipped chakra of ever-floating tunes, and slurp the guts of it.
Magic vibrations called out for a place, where resonation is not muted by the noisy highway of the mainstream. What a luck we have devilish taste for music, and the oracle's genious on foreseeing how to avoid being banal."
 
B

Blackdown

nexKeysound
HOLLYWOOD’S HOTTEST DJ DOES IT AGAIN AND CHANGES THE MUSIC PARADIGM WITH HIS NEW ALBUM

About illionaire:

June 27, 2011 (Los Angeles, CA) – DJ Cobra, otherwise known as Andrew Bagg, a prominent fixture in the international nightlife and party scene, has just released illionaire, his highly anticipated and paradigm shifting sophomore album.

Cobra’s 2009 debut album, “ILLER,” set the stage for this encore album with over 250,000 downloads worldwide. Illionaire showcases over 300 samples and includes the scorching sounds of Lil Wayne, Kid, Cudi, Michael Jackson and Blue Oyster Cult. This album exhibits the impeccable attention to detail and cadences that are unique to DJ Cobra’s style and rich resume that has evolved through his touring with or opening for artists such as Diddy, Prince, Ludacris, Nelly, John Legend and Lady Gaga.

DJ Cobra’s coveted sound has been heard at high-end nightclubs and events around the globe, as well as by the most elite, discerning and high profile private clients. DJ Cobra has performed such private events for the likes of Madonna, Myley Cyrus, Paris Hilton, American Idol, Ferrari, The Walt Disney Company, and HBO to name a few.

For more about DJ Cobra or “ILLIONAIRE” please log onto www.djcobra.com
 
B

Blackdown

nexKeysound
23 year-old LA native Sonny Moore pka Skrillex will also release ‘Ruffneck (FULL Flex)’ on September 5th on Asylum Records/Big Beat Records. The track is currently Fearne Cotton’s Record of the Week.
 
B

bob effect

somnambulist
Blackdown said:
HOLLYWOOD’S HOTTEST DJ DOES IT AGAIN AND CHANGES THE MUSIC PARADIGM WITH HIS NEW ALBUM

About illionaire:

June 27, 2011 (Los Angeles, CA) – DJ Cobra, otherwise known as Andrew Bagg
Click to expand...

Good thing he picked a pseudonym or he'd be known as DJ Bagg. I think perhaps he's aware of this, hence the hilarious overcompensation of DJ COBRA!!!! It's like a 10 year old boy came up with a list of things that are cool and picked the top one as his DJ name. In fact, the rest of the list was:

DJ PANTHER
DJ TIGER
DJ NINJA
DJ LIGHTSABER
DJ BABOON
 
B

BareBones

wheezy
bob effect said:
Good thing he picked a pseudonym or he'd be known as DJ Bagg. I think perhaps he's aware of this, hence the hilarious overcompensation of DJ COBRA!!!! It's like a 10 year old boy came up with a list of things that are cool and picked the top one as his DJ name. In fact, the rest of the list was:

DJ PANTHER
DJ TIGER
DJ NINJA
DJ LIGHTSABER
DJ BABOON
Click to expand...

haha - there is a DJ Pantha and he's fucking brilliant.
 
R

routes

we can delay.ay.ay...
this is quite funny, whoever wrote this can barely disguise their boredom/depression/apathy

Mysterious UK producer XXXXXXXX is a few weeks away from issuing his debut LP, XXXXXXXXX (artwork above), on the XXXXXXXX imprint, and has passed along this track to give us a taste of what's to come. "XXXXXX" is a dark, murky outing that hides what could be an almost tender culmination of synths under layers of buzzing distortion and blown-out drums. The tune accumulates layers of grainy percussion and incomprehensible vocal whisperings as XXXXXX tests the listener's patience a bit with the slow-brewing swirl that makes up the track's first three-plus minutes. Eventually, a monstrously overdriven drum machine takes over the proceedings, and comparison to Actress' deeply hazy, meandering techno could be made—making it clear why fans of noise-laden, quasi-leftfield house and techno have been anticipating the release of XXXXXXX's forthcoming debut on September 26.
Click to expand...

"tests the listener's patience" lol
 
S

smokeyrobinson

Active member
“where day slips silently into night as the grass turns gently in the wind just before the edge of the forest; where phantoms roam free and feral beasts stalk… the untamed serenity of these reaches is where one would expect to find this record”
 
john eden

john eden

male pale and stale
Not music, but:

Discover our work "Lustracromos" made in La Paz, Bolivia.

This work was made in collaboration with the local shoe shining boys. Instead of having our shoes polished we offered them small white leather canvases (1 foot by 1 foot) to be tainted in different colors and polished. Each monochrome is accompanied by a video recording of the process and the shoe shining kit which was used to produce the monochrome.
Click to expand...
 
B

Blackdown

nexKeysound
In other news, the Department for Marine Animal Execution in Confined Circular Wooden Spaces have issued the following press release:

Westlife critical of lack of originality in pop music scene

In an exclusive interview following the recent shooting of the video for their new single Lighthouse on the music video website MUZU.TV, Westlife’s band members, Kian and Mark state what’s wrong with the music of today.

Highlighting the lack of originality in the current music scene, Kian explains that music has become ‘too cool’ and ‘samey’ with everyone diluting what they are doing rather than in the 80s, 90s and 00s when there were distinct types of music including big power ballads and great rock bands.

In further comments, Mark announces that they believe that the market is being ‘flooded by too many similar songs with the same ‘beat’. The band believes that there is “definitely a gap for a big mainstream pop act
Click to expand...
 
outraygeous

outraygeous

Well-known member
What is the need for a written press release now?

Shouldnt they just be short bios with a link to the music? I haven't really got the energy to read the shit some people write about music.
 
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