Twees're Good (except they're not)

[Slothrop]

Products like that are typically marketed as 'your easy way to 5 a day', as if eating fruit is an inherently taxing process.

Again, not twee, just stupid.

Twee has to include an element of self-conscious pastel shaded cuteseyness, otherwise it's basically a meaninglessly general concept. Innocent Smoothies have that up to a point with the packaging (although it's not full on flowers and fairies stuff), but it's not inherent in the concept of liquidised fruit.

In other twee news, my gf fancied listening to If You're Feeling Sinister by B&S yesterday, but wasn't paying attention and accidentally put on a different record with a similar coloured spine, specifically Trout Mask Replica...

 

[Mr. Tea]

well to be fair fruit is really annoying. its so unpredictable.

Some things like melons and mangoes are a bit tricky, it's true. There's that thing you do of prodding the ends and carefully sniffing them to see if they're ripe but I suspect you have to be a parent to do this properly.

You can generally tell when an apple's going to be OK, I reckon. Oranges are usually fine as long as they feel firm. Bananas are the opposite, they should be on the point of going soft. Unripe bananas are the devil's work.

Edit: actually luka is right, I've been betrayed by oranges that felt as ripe and firm as a deb's bottom but turned out to be all dessicated inside. Ugh. I might have to rethink how I feel about fruit. I've got a couple of mangoes in my cupboard at home, God only knows what they're plotting.

 

[luka]

no way oranges are the most unreliable fruit going. never trust an orange.

 

[luka]

an apple can easily be chalky without any warning signs.

 

[luka]

fruit is inherently devious and often malicious.

 

[baboon2004]

Fruit is machiavellian.

A twee album title?

 

[Mr. Tea]

Fruit is machiavellian.

A twee album title?

 

[hucks]

One for the Belle and Sebastian apologists on this thread.


Clearly, this is unacceptable.

 

[mistersloane]

Indefensible.

 

[slowtrain]

I would just like to point out that as an ardent amateur baker, there is a very large difference between a cupcake and a muffin.

A cup cake is actually a cake baked in a muffin tray.

They are not inherently twee though, and I make lots of very cool cupcakes, they can be really nice.

 

[SecondLine]

tomorrow you will have an appointment with the house un-dissensian activities committee

 

[slowtrain]

Funnily enough I had a conversation with my flatmate about baking cupcakes, and I was scoffing ironically because they are for girls, and my solution was that I would make some with cayenne pepper and sour cream for icing.

Is this twee or not?

 

[Mr. Tea]

Is this twee or not?

Not necessarily twee, but could be construed as willfully zany.

 

[e/y]

looks like the US Transportation Security Administration shares the anti-cupcake sentiment: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/10/us/tsa-defends-cupcake-confiscation.html

 

[Trillhouse]

These bearded faggots were back on the tv last night.

They've managed to take something previously thought of very masculine and threatening, and turned it into something that's menopausal housewife foda. That's pretty twee imo. The c*nts.

Then it got me to thinking. There's a whole vein of the these twee comedy Northern monkeys that act like their from some bygone age, who's guaranteed favourite topic of conversation will be their twee, Kes like, childhood 'Oop Nauf'.


Just to note;

• 
  The use of "faggot" is not meant in a homophobic sense. see SouthPark.

• Not Northerners in general. Some of my best friends are Northerners. Just the ones who seem to play up these awful twee Northern stereotypes on tv & radio.

 

[Mr. Tea]

I like 'em. I actually like to think they really are a couple, it's kind of sweet. And they'd hardly be the first gay bikers in the world, would they?

Though admittedly there should be some sort of Ministry of Stereotypes to ensure all gay bikers look like

at all times.

 

[Trillhouse]

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[Slothrop]

Distinctively Northern stuff, even at its most Hovis ad, is inherently not twee. The defining characteristics of stereotypical northerness - gruff stoicism, solidness, manliness, dependability - are the antithesis of twee. Comfortingly divorced from reality - yes, cloyingly sentimental - maybe, twee - no. It's no more twee than George Bush wearing a cowboy hat to look like a good ol' boy.

 

[luka]

hampstead on the other hand....

 

[slowtrain]

OK, are these cupcakes twee?

http://theblackoven.blogspot.com/2008/03/le-petit-gateau-du-les-legions-noire.html