Which varietals if I could ask (not dopamine related)? Ease of script access was eye-opening your side of the pond. Pre oxy explosion, then its birth. Number of supply domains was surreal, kratom beginning to lurk but for bliss not much beat diamorphine scripts. Clean, accurate dosing, nice earner too, but digi markets blew the doors off fentanyl volumes
Think there’s a def psychedelic haze with strong opiates too, a taboo heavy realm. Got 30ml day script of morphine over a period recently, just a short glow to drop the whole 30ml to get a reminder. Didn’t feel flawed or sinful because of the physical pain prescribed for
You’re only looking at about ten Our Fathers as penance if theft, deception, fraud, robbery with violence and/or all these are absent. Provide your youth to the local confessional booth, they love flaws
It's varied over the years. Morphine for a bit in college (random chance, stumbled upon a large amount getting dealer-dumped to leave the business; was a friend/student or wouldn't have trusted). Had a bad dependence for about three months, to the point I'd wake up 4am withdrawing have to redose. Then went cold turkey, partly out of an adventurer's spirit—I'd heard H withdrawals were about as bad as it gets, seen the depictions in e.g. Trainspotting of hallucinations. Well, didn't get any visual or auditory distortion, but the emotional distortion, the altered perception of the world, very severe. This speaks to Luka's thread about Factory Settings, actually. All the sudden I thought my whole world was falling apart, for the life of me I can't say why, but the smallest thing would set me off, a hellish three works, I thought maybe I'd never be happy again, and then maybe 1-2 months of turbulence afterwards, going on runs, eating chocolate, anything to give me anything, anything to get me to bed. Hell but I learned a lot about how colored your perception of things are by brain chems.
But things have been more sustainable the half-decade since. Small doses of tramadol pretty regularly, tramadol being an odd opiate. Hits a strange mix of receptors I think. Can be very stimulating. Helps me believe in myself. Etc. Haven't ever raised my (let's say, rolling weekly average) dose, and have tapered off a few times, find that 7 days of weaning gets me to ground-level without any bumps. So I'm not too concerned, things feel managed, but sometimes I wonder why I need it to begin with.
Suppose I had a short poppyseed period in there, when you could still find unwashed seeds in the States. I've seen gas station kratom like you say, and there are some kava bars in Brooklyn, but I've never messed with scripts/trying to get them. Don't have it constitutionally in me I don't think, going into a doctor and selling them a story. Too sincere for my own good.