favourite headline ever

[hucks]

Now, apparently I posted on this thread but the post isn't showing, so I'm hoping this will flush it out somehow, as if the internet were a clogged s-bend. I can't have you missing out on whatever nugget i had seen fit to post in the Favourite Headlines thread. It wouldn't be fair.

Edit: There it is! Pillows! Was I the only one who couldn't see that?

 

[Mr. Tea]

Pillow case stolen during break-in

Pretty shocking stuff. Some of you might not be able to handle it. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Haha, reminds me of Bill Hicks talking about English crime. "Last night some hooligans kicked over a dustbin in Shrewsbury!"

 

[IdleRich]

"Edit: There it is! Pillows! Was I the only one who couldn't see that?"

No. In the forum bit it said there was a post from Hucks but when I clicked on the actual thread there was nothing there. Glad to say it was worth the wait for it to finally appear.

 

[slowtrain]

"Contractor Guilty Of Looting Company To Pay For Lavish Lifestyle, Ruby-Encrusted Flag Belt Buckle"

Not so much a funny headline as an obscure story...

http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsme...guilty_of_looting_company_to_pay.php?ref=mblt

 

[Sectionfive]

A Geezer In Gaza

Contender for press release too.

 

[Mr. Tea]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-11380834

Police have admitted having technical issues after releasing an e-fit of a burglary suspect which looks like a man wearing a lettuce.

Are they sure it wasn't John Lydon?

 

[Lichen]

Odd

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-11382469

 

[Mr. Tea]

'Tough' mackerel stance welcomed after talks

I love the idea of a tough mackerel stance, like this fish is hanging about in a hoody on a street corner, looking really mean and menacing passers-by.

 

[Sectionfive]

Worth a mention in fairness..

 

[slowtrain]

^ wtf.

 

[Mr. Tea]

Haha, I posted that here years ago, possibly in this very thread. Good to see it's still doing the rounds.

 

[ifp]

From today's Mirror:

 

[slowtrain]

"Big Lotto winner lets wife work rest of day; thinks about pig hunting "

Only comes up with that one on google news though: http://news.google.co.nz/news?pz=1&hl=en&ned=nz

Although the one on the actual page is pretty good:

"Big Lotto winner didn't want to distract wife at work"

http://www.radionz.co.nz/news/national/59915/big-lotto-winner-didn't-want-to-distract-wife-at-work

 

[Sectionfive]

"Kangaroo feared dead after disco terror"

EDIT: Not funny at all actually

 

[Sectionfive]

"Kangaroo feared dead after disco terror"

EDIT: Not funny at all actually

EDIT: Small bit funny again

"No one gave ecstasy to disco kangaroo"

 

[tyranny]

Ahead of me as always Section 5!!!!

 

[Mr. Tea]

Life imitating Chris Morris^^.

I hope the 'roo-shagger in that video is proud of himself.

 

[Lichen]

'Indian police crack elephant smuggling ring'

 

[Dr Awesome]

Life imitating Chris Morris^^.

I hope the 'roo-shagger in that video is proud of himself.

Proud? Yes. Almost all Australians are.

 

[Mr. Tea]

Proud? Yes. Almost all Australians are.

ZING!