Pointless But It Does My Head In
I'm six foot two and I manage, so you must be a GIANT!
I'm six even but I've got legs like a supermodel. Either that or I'm just irritable.
The other day I was on the train sitting next to the on-train toilets. Across from me was this older man, probably in his late fifties, in a mid-range suit, tie, legs crossed and reading the Wall Street Journal with an extremely serious countenance. Some man from further down the train stood up and walked over and entered the toilets right next to us, and made very clear from the ungodly sounds coming from within, that he probably had bad sushi for lunch.
After he'd already made everyone uncomfortable within earshot of the bogs, he exited and left the door wide open presumably so we could explore his mishap on a whole new, exciting sensory level. In my head, I thought "You fuckin' asshole." The guy in the suit suddenly became animated with white hot rage and snarled "YOU FUCKIN' ASSHOLE."
Made my day. Considering he was reading the Wall Street Journal, he probably wasn't really in the mood for any shit (pardon the pun) that day.
After he'd already made everyone uncomfortable within earshot of the bogs, he exited and left the door wide open presumably so we could explore his mishap on a whole new, exciting sensory level. In my head, I thought "You fuckin' asshole." The guy in the suit suddenly became animated with white hot rage and snarled "YOU FUCKIN' ASSHOLE."
Made my day. Considering he was reading the Wall Street Journal, he probably wasn't really in the mood for any shit (pardon the pun) that day.
slackk
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sorry but this made me crease
matt b
Indexing all opinion
student's idiocy
'all the french are 12 years old' (reasoning being that when he was 12 he had a french exchange visit. all the kids were 12. therefore all the french are 12)
'you can tell the difference between all russians all french and all spanish [based on physical attributes]. you cannot tell the difference between the english and the dutch. you can tell the difference between the english and the scottish'
'i was on a plane going to pakistan. there was a white guy next to me. the police came on with sniffer dogs to to a quick search. i got searched, the white guy didn't. that white guy was a dickhead'
why?
'because he didn't get searched'
'did [erving] goffman invent...'
please don't say it
'did he invent goths?'
gah, you said it.
'all the french are 12 years old' (reasoning being that when he was 12 he had a french exchange visit. all the kids were 12. therefore all the french are 12)
'you can tell the difference between all russians all french and all spanish [based on physical attributes]. you cannot tell the difference between the english and the dutch. you can tell the difference between the english and the scottish'
'i was on a plane going to pakistan. there was a white guy next to me. the police came on with sniffer dogs to to a quick search. i got searched, the white guy didn't. that white guy was a dickhead'
why?
'because he didn't get searched'
'did [erving] goffman invent...'
please don't say it
'did he invent goths?'
gah, you said it.
Was on a fairly crowded tube recently, and two women - both in their 20s, i guess, and neither with any (noticeable) physical disability or other affliction which would hamper their ability to stand - were both going for the same seat. One of them said, "is it OK if I sit here? I have a bag". Probably the most ridiculous reason for deserving a seat i've heard. Amazingly, the other women stood aside without saying a word. The bag in question was one of those wheeled menaces, so it's not as if she even had to carry it.
One of those instances, i thought, where someone acquiesces to another before actually registering what is being asked of them. I clocked the standing woman a number of times over the rest of the journey frowning at the sitting woman, i'm sure she was thinking to herself "why the fuck did i let her have that seat?"
One of those instances, i thought, where someone acquiesces to another before actually registering what is being asked of them. I clocked the standing woman a number of times over the rest of the journey frowning at the sitting woman, i'm sure she was thinking to herself "why the fuck did i let her have that seat?"
jambo
slip inside my schlafsack
The tangled web of correct public transport conduct. Might I propose that sometimes for the good of the collective it is better to sit on the tube if one has a large bag as that way it is less likely to be an obstruction in the vicinity of the exits, especially in a crowded carriage?
Similarly there is sometimes the apparent paradox that it may seem superficially correct for someone to give up their seat for another, but there is also to consider on a busy train that in doing so the shuffling around business may inconvenience many others and could even lead to a falling over or perhaps a serious argument. Similarly it takes a finely judged sense to know whether offering a seat to someone is likely to cause offence or not as a perceived slight about the other's ability to remain standing or to conduct their own affairs.
Sheesh.
Similarly there is sometimes the apparent paradox that it may seem superficially correct for someone to give up their seat for another, but there is also to consider on a busy train that in doing so the shuffling around business may inconvenience many others and could even lead to a falling over or perhaps a serious argument. Similarly it takes a finely judged sense to know whether offering a seat to someone is likely to cause offence or not as a perceived slight about the other's ability to remain standing or to conduct their own affairs.
Sheesh.
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Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
Last night I saw the worst example of apostrophe abuse I've ever seen - it was a total apastrophe, in fact - on a board outside a pub, titled "TAPA'S MENU". I can only hope the chef was called Tapa, but the (no double hideously mangled) Spanish words below it hinted otherwise.
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Now that really would be funny.
Martin Dust
Techno Zen Master
last night i saw the worst ever example of apostrophe abuse i've ever seen - it was a total apastrophe, in fact - on a board outside a pub, titled "tapa's menu". I can only hope the chef was called tapa, but the (no double hideously mangled) spanish words below it hinted otherwise.
lol
STN
sou'wester
STN
sou'wester
The word 'set' as in 'trendy media set' really annoys me for some reason. It may be coincidental but I've never seen it written in a sentence that didn't give the impression that whoever wrote it wasn't a complete berk.
In the media example it's usually accompanied by some hilarious made up middle class names that are really bloody unimaginative. Tarquin for example.
In the media example it's usually accompanied by some hilarious made up middle class names that are really bloody unimaginative. Tarquin for example.
Amplesamples
Well-known member
Idiotic device design such as:
When I turn on the TV, it automatically goes onto standby, so I then have to press another button with the remote (which I have almost always mislaid somewhere). Surely if I turn a TV on, it should go ON? Who decided that it would be more convenient to force me to press another button?
Also - squidgy buttons on chip & pin machines. Not very good are they?
When I turn on the TV, it automatically goes onto standby, so I then have to press another button with the remote (which I have almost always mislaid somewhere). Surely if I turn a TV on, it should go ON? Who decided that it would be more convenient to force me to press another button?
Also - squidgy buttons on chip & pin machines. Not very good are they?
Itchy & Scratchy
Well-known member
The woeful ability of some people in my course with regard to referencing sources correctly. Normally I wouldn't care but after only getting halfway through a list of 70 odd references for a group report after four hours I may just consider getting Tempa T let loose with a baseball bat on the perpetrators fingers. We all agreed on one style (Harvard) and there's some listed in Turabian or other made up on the spot hodge-podge crap. And the guy who referenced a wiki page *sigh*.
STN
sou'wester
I don't much like Harvard referencing but it is so FUCKING annoying when people don't stick to referencing styles. I mean, what is the point of deciding you'll do it another way? I haven't asked you to use a particular style for a joke. Then I edit it and they complain i've got the refs wrong because it wasn't fucking clear which is why I asked them to do the references in a certain way in the bloody first place.
I feel strongly about this; if someone is so monstrously conceited that they ignore your instructions you can bet your life they'll be an arse about you changing it.
I don't normally use these but:
I feel strongly about this; if someone is so monstrously conceited that they ignore your instructions you can bet your life they'll be an arse about you changing it.
I don't normally use these but:
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