Urban handshakes

[tryptych]

Every time I meet an American acquaintance (and some English ones), we and up fumbling through some ritualised handshake type affair.

It starts with a simple, firm grasp of the hand, then the other party attempts to to twist it round into some new orientation of palms and fingers. The sometimes I ignore their movement (which I usually go for) or sometimes find myself being carried up with it, and successfully completing the next movement, which is even worse, as their is an inevitable 3rd step to fluff.

I find the whole thing rather embarrassing. Anyone else find this?

 

[Jaie Miller]

lol...

the handshake touch/spud confusion usually happens..

are we shaking hands or touching?...you decide.

or when you go to spud and they slap the top of your hand or you slap the top of their hand...

'safe cuzzy yeah'

lol

if you get it right i think there can be about 6 parts to a handshake, fluent, natural. ending in a spud or a dance...coz you can a lways twist your fist left to right and that would count as an extra part..i wished there was a youtube vid wen i opened this.

 

[tom pr]

the handshake touch/spud confusion usually happens..

yeah, that's always the problematic one.

It happened with me and Jammer once, and probably still haunts him to this day.

 

[tryptych]

lol...

the handshake touch/spud confusion usually happens..

are we shaking hands or touching?...you decide.

or when you go to spud and they slap the top of your hand or you slap the top of their hand...

'safe cuzzy yeah'

lol

if you get it right i think there can be about 6 parts to a handshake, fluent, natural. ending in a spud or a dance...coz you can a lways twist your fist left to right and that would count as an extra part..i wished there was a youtube vid wen i opened this.

I have literally no idea what any of this means.

 

[nomadologist]

does "spud" mean when you take your closed fist and pound it down against the other party's closed fist (which comes up to meet yours), then reverse positioning and repeat?

there are all sorts of handshakes i can think of but the most common one that's convenient and somewhat less involved is the "clasp--slide--lock curled fingertips--shake up and down quickly--release--slap (sideways highfive style)" one.

there's also the "fist forward tap knuckles" shake. i like that one.

 

[nomadologist]

youtube it is

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a for creativity d- for feasibility

 

[mistersloane]

handshakes are old

http://www.ephesians5-11.org/handshakes.htm

 

[DJ PIMP]

youtube it is

Thats the most elaborate foreplay ever.

 

[benjybars]

yeah, that's always the problematic one.

It happened with me and Jammer once, and probably still haunts him to this day.

hhahaa..

luckily my own (extremely limited) spudding history with jammer has been relatively smooth.. (we spudded once. it went ok)

 

[Jonesy]

I don't move in circles where urban handshakes are involved but European kissing (both cheeks or one) I can't deal with. Being British I prefer a firm handshake. I always freak out and go in too hard, cracking the other person's cheekbone. The other party can always sense my awkwardness which makes it even worse.

Sorry, not very "urban" but...

 

[zhao]

does "spud" mean when you take your closed fist and pound it down against the other party's closed fist (which comes up to meet yours), then reverse positioning and repeat?

preferred shake between me and my homies, sometimes followed by the fist to the heart in a stabbing gesture with an invisible knife.

and i like the euro double cheek kiss thing (provided, you know, I'm not greeting a chicken head)

 

[Gabba Flamenco Crossover]

When I went to Ghana the preferred gesture was a normal handshake, followed by swiftly removing the hand and clicking your fingers on the other's fingertips as you do so. I didn't even attempt this because it seems like a ridiculously white negro thing for me to do, even if I could have done it succesfully which I doubt I could. Luckily it starts off the same as a normal handshake, and if you grab the others hand firmly for a period of a few seconds or so, they realise that you aren't going to attempt the click, which saves embarressment. It did make me feel a bit like a colonial overseer at times, but I'd rather be Dr Livingstone than Tim Westwood.

And in some parts of Europe they insist on three cheek kisses... left, right, and back to left again.

 

[simon silverdollar]

my half french friend recently told me that i was doing that cheek kissing thing all wrong. apparently you're not meant to kiss each other twice; instead, i kiss your cheek, and then you kiss mine. i felt quite stupid after he told me that.

i hate the cheek kissing anyway. it's so wanky and london. i liked that line from Frasier (sorry!);
"it's like mother always said, a handshake is as good as a hug".

 

[Jaie Miller]

what about when a mofo crushes your hand a little in the process. Does that make you less of a man? Do you loose if that happens?

Did you get that?!

 

[Jaie Miller]

When I went to Ghana the preferred gesture was a normal handshake, followed by swiftly removing the hand and clicking your fingers on the other's fingertips as you do so.

Yes!

 

[mos dan]

yeah, that's always the problematic one.

It happened with me and Jammer once, and probably still haunts him to this day.

lol

when i used to arrive at the redstar for its dubstep sessions a year or so ago, there were times when i'd have to have up to three different handshake/touch-spud variants with the various different people there. it was like 'okay, this dude - firm handshake; next guy - touch; next guy - handshake then thumb-clasp grip' and so on. say what you like about dubstep in 2006, the people involved were a pretty broad church.

so you know the one-cheek-kiss greeting with a member of the opposite sex? anyone ever mess this up in a very very dark club (say, plastic people, for example) and kind of half-get the lips, by accident? i've never felt so much like larry david - cos i couldn't explain, or make a joke out of it, because (a) she was leaving, and (b) i was in fwd>>, so that was physically impossible.

 

[Sick Boy]

It's like dancing - take the lead and the other will follow.

 

[petergunn]

I'd rather be Dr Livingstone than Tim Westwood.

.

can i put this on my tombstone?

 

[UFO over easy]

lol

when i used to arrive at the redstar for its dubstep sessions a year or so ago, there were times when i'd have to have up to three different handshake/touch-spud variants with the various different people there. it was like 'okay, this dude - firm handshake; next guy - touch; next guy - handshake then thumb-clasp grip' and so on. say what you like about dubstep in 2006, the people involved were a pretty broad church.

I knew I could always rely on you for a decent, uncomplicated, british hand shake dan

 

[STN]

Sickboy is right; just go for a confident straightforward handshake (like Judge Julian Pickles would probably do) and you'll be fine.

Though I dispense this wisdom, I was once shown the rasta lion claw and didn't know what to do so formed a claw of my own, interlocked it with his and made a kind of weird, solemn noise. I think he thought I was a bit of a prick.