The Queen is Dead!

IdleRich

IdleRich
Do you think Truss knocked her off? Last known meeting...

It's certainly... well, it was the first thought I had and I can't be the only one. Yesterday the papers were full of pictures of Liz greeting the other Liz - two power mad evil monsters whose slight frames and membership of the fairer sex belied the brutal savagery of their regimes (admittedly Truss' reign not that long yet but shaping up to be a bad one).

Anyway, apart from all that, Brenda looked as though she was fighting fit, standing upright without any aids and smiling brightly, her skin glowing with a healthy vitality and her hair looking lively and buoyant. When I saw that picture I immediately thought "Wow, the queen is 96 years old but she looks so healthy, as though she could live for another fifty years, I am certain that she will make it to one hundred at the very least, the only thing that could possibly prevent that would be some kind of skullduggery such as being poisoned by a Russian agent."

But just cos the Russians probably want her dead, and the Tories are totally owned by the Russians and the perfectly healthy queen died one day after meeting Truss doesn't mean that we should draw the really obvious conclusion.




*Well, to be fair, they won't let us see how much they are owned by them cos they won't release the report so we have to assume it's really bad. For all we know the redacted bit on page one says "Liz Truss has been replaced by a Russian killbot which has been programmed to irradiate the queen with polonium"
 
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IdleRich

IdleRich
You know what, I've actually being having a pretty miserable... actually downright shitty day. Really been feeling pretty down for most of it... I have to say, thank fuck the queen died, actually gave me something to take my mind off it all etc I mean, I'm sorry she's dead and all that, but I'm sure that she would be glad to know that even in death she was serving her people or something.
 

WashYourHands

Cat Malogen
Wheezy, asthmatic cunts under brollies

“Oh my, it’s just hitting me, the news. Devastating, I can’t express my emotions (lip tremble, dab eyes), I had to sit down with our 85 cats. She was...she was....quite tight and morose if you think about it. All the noncing. She must have known about MC Andrweird. She didn’t give anything away to us, her subjects, ever, except strange medals to a dead empire (leans in to whisper “Scottish mother”, wink). Ideally we’d be citizens with a constitution, instead of subjects to a morass of archaic land ownership rights, property laws and tax loopholes. Very overwhelming week, what with Hernia Truss and now 3 months of cystic fibrosis face Nicholas Witchell to endure. Can I salute a second? I can’t express these......um, these..... e m o t i o n s”
 
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