Pointless But It Does My Head In

[bandshell]

Like an X-rated Dan Ackroyd, I couldn't stop the phrase 'hand-to-cock combat' popping into my mind. Sorry.

“He came to town with his cock in his hand, and what he did with it was illegal in 49 states.”

 

[Dr Awesome]

“He came to town with his cock in his hand, and what he did with it was illegal in 49 states.”

Clearly it wasn't a semi-automatic cock then.

 

[IdleRich]

“He came to town with his cock in his hand, and what he did with it was illegal in 49 states.”

A rejected tag-line for Cockfighter right?

 

[bandshell]

A rejected tag-line for Cockfighter right?

Yeah

 

[baboon2004]

Strangers telling you how to pronounce your own name. This is strictly prohibited in the widely-available treatise How Not To Be An Awful Cunt 101.

 

[Mr. Tea]

Strangers telling you how to pronounce your own name. This is strictly prohibited in the widely-available treatise How Not To Be An Awful Cunt 101.

But then, some people don't know how to pronounce their own names. Like Americans called 'Anthony' who pronounce the first two syllables like the start of 'anthology'. And what about 'Colon' Powell?

Edit: surely there's only one way you can pronounce 'baboon2004'? Or is there some controversy over "two-thousand-and-four" vs. "twenty-oh-four"?

 

[baboon2004]

I quite like the 'Anthony' pronunciation. Always makes me think of James Gandolfini though.

 

[Mr. Tea]

I quite like the 'Anthony' pronunciation. Always makes me think of James Gandolfini though.

Yeah, when Carmella's nagging either him or their son - "EAN-THONY!!!" - ha, that's exactly what I thought.

 

[IdleRich]

"my name is S-h-a-v-a-u-g-h-n, it's pronounced Syoban"

 

[Sectionfive]

Attention seekers!

The kind that have no problem wrecking everyone's night if there not the center of things at all times.
Or start kicking up shit because people are trying to have a conversation that they are either too stupid or lack the imagination to contribute too.

Yeah, we would much rather talk about your stories ad nauseam all night. Fuck off

 

[alec.tron]

It does indeed suck ring. Does anyone know if Berlin is still as outrageously cheap as it allegedly was a few years bacK? Or has the flood of young creative things from the UK pushed up the rent in all the formerly cheap areas?

yes and no, Berlin is still very cheap in comparison, but a lot has changed there as well. Especially over the last 5 years it seems...
last time I was over there some suburbs I used to live in or frequent regularly have seriously lost a lot of their flair thanks to the tie & shirt brigades & I didn;t have the feeling of being in Berlin anymore... which was weird.
oh well, things change I guess & it can't always stay grimey & down to earth.
c.

 

[Mr. Tea]

a girl i'm often on the same tube carriage with in the morning looks like she's plucked her eyebrows off entirely, and in their place drawn on these crazy pencil-thin eyebrows in a shape i now know to be called sigmoid curves. they're proper cartoon-villain kind of eyebrows and she sits there with this intense scowl on her face the whole journey. she scares me.

The other day I sat across from an African woman who'd given her brows the old shave-n-tat. She a ca. 3-y-o daughter with a lip stud... :slanted:

 

[slowtrain]

a girl i'm often on the same tube carriage with in the morning looks like she's plucked her eyebrows off entirely, and in their place drawn on these crazy pencil-thin eyebrows in a shape i now know to be called sigmoid curves. they're proper cartoon-villain kind of eyebrows and she sits there with this intense scowl on her face the whole journey. she scares me.

Ugh, I always like a girl with decent eyebrows

 

[Mr. Tea]

A mother has been given an official police caution for leaving her 14-year-old son in charge of his three-year-old brother.

I bet he didn't even have a CRB check or nuffink.

Jesus fucking Christ.

 

[Sick Boy]

The kind that have no problem wrecking everyone's night if there not the center of things at all times.
Or start kicking up shit because people are trying to have a conversation that they are either too stupid or lack the imagination to contribute too.

On the other hand, I also can't stand people who insist on having "intelligent" discussions at completely inappropriate times - say, when everyone else is just trying to get shit-faced. You know, the pretentious joyless arseholes who have to treat every time they leave the house as an excuse to bore the first person they meet with a showcase on Me and the Very Interesting Things I Learned This Week. As a general rule, attention seekers are always less funny than they think they are and the type I'm talking about are always less interesting than they think they are.

 

[Sectionfive]

Nah, this would be any conversation that isn't about them or what they decided the topic is for the night.

 

[Mr. Tea]

OK, so a well-meaning aunt sent me some House of Fraser vouchers for Christmas. I've never shopped there before but whatever, it would be nice to buy something for my room. But it's just as well I looked at the vouchers today because the expiry date is 11th March this year. WTF? You have to cash them in within basically two months or they become worthless? I bet they rake in shitloads each year from people failing to spend them in time. Cheeky cunts.

 

[Tentative Andy]

This is prob a stupid one but - predictive suggestions on search engines and other online services. Most of the time I find them offputting rather than helpful.

 

[bandshell]

People writing or typing "would of" instead of "would have" or "would've".

 

[Mr. Tea]

From 'where should I eat in London':

Yes, I know what you mean - it's like gastropubs where they charge you an extra 50p for each adjective they can get into your sandwich. TBH if I want a really nice sandwich then I don't want to go somewhere that advertises a "Throgspottle Farm organic mature cheddar sandwich with home made wild aubergeine and single estate balsamic vinegar chutney", I want to go somewhere where I trust that something described as a "cheese and chutney sandwich" is made with nice, well chosen ingredients rather than processed cheese singles and sainsburys basics piccallili.

On a sort-of related note, I cannot fucking stand shampoo, shower gel and related products aimed at middle-class young women that make a huge fucking song and dance about how they're ORGANIC and FAIR TRADE and KARIMICALLY CORRECT and include the name of the individual person who supposedly made that particular bottle of fragrant overpriced gunk just for you!!! and include a little poem about them and have some pointless trivia or other bumf written in an obnoxiously 'matey' style because we all know there's nothing better than UNWINDING AFTER A HARD DAY'S SHOPPING by lathering up your locks with extract of Madagascan bimbleberry, right girls?????

I would say it's insulting to the intelligence of women but it obvious sells because it's fucking everywhere. Mind you, a lot of men's products are no better - remember that advert recently that tried to make moisturising after shaving sound macho by calling it 'refuelling'? Christ.

Edit: OK, so if it is made with fair-trade and/or organic ingredients then it's probably better than if it's not, from the POV of effects on people and the environment, but a lot of these companies like to make out that you're single-handedly SAVING THE PLANET and ELIMINATING THIRD-WORLD POVERTY just by buying their products. I'm sure k-punk would have a field day with this stuff, haha.