noel emits
a wonderful wooden reason
I think she's saying that she wanted to disrupt her parents' marital bedroom because she subconsciously wanted to kill her mum so that she could piss on her dad. Or something.
Shitting yourself/shitting in interesting or unusual places/shitting queries
- Thread starter Noah Baby Food
- Start date
Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
*gains whole new heap of respect for nomadologist*
Freudo-Oedipal desires are all about the "latent" (pre-pubescent) phase FYI (not that I'm a card-carrying Freudian myself).I'm well aware of Freud's theories on this matter, I just wondered what the hell sleep-pissing on your parent's bedroom floor at age 10 could possibley have to do with Oedipal desires - unless you already had some sort of watersports fetish at that age?
Nomadologist - did you crab-walk up the stairs upside down beforehand? Now that would have been impressive!
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Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
Yeah, I know that, I was just wondering what it had to do with pissing!
N
nomadologist
Guest
Freudo-Oedipal desires are all about the "latent" (pre-pubescent) phase FYI (not that I'm a card-carrying Freudian myself).
Nomadologist - did you crab-walk up the stairs upside down beforehand? Now that would have been impressive!
haha thanks for making me laugh.bad day at work
N
nomadologist
Guest
pissing on your parents floor. their bedroom floor?
i'd love to get paid $300/hour to explain why
mistersloane
heavy heavy monster sound
Freudo-Oedipal desires are all about the "latent" (pre-pubescent) phase FYI (not that I'm a card-carrying Freudian myself).
Nomadologist - did you crab-walk up the stairs upside down beforehand? Now that would have been impressive!
that made me laugh out loud.
OK, here's a shitting story, of the "interesting or unusual places" type.
A friend of mine (and I must stress that this is a real friend i.e. a separate person from myself) was out walking the dog somewhere in rural Dorset. I guess he's a young teenager or thereabouts. He decides to climb a tree, but it's only when he's 20-odd feet in the air that he realizes that he needs a shit. He somehow manages to do so in situ and evacuates onto the ground, at which point the family dog (who I always imagine to be leaping joyfully through tall grass) reappears and cheerfully gobbles up my mate's crap.
******
Later on the family are all sitting around the fireplace, which the dog is lying in front of on a rug. A series of noxious farts are produced by the animal, before it staggers to its feet and vomits copiously. My mate's dad pulls a face, wrinkles up his nose and exclaims "Jesus!"
(apologies for total grossness)
A friend of mine (and I must stress that this is a real friend i.e. a separate person from myself) was out walking the dog somewhere in rural Dorset. I guess he's a young teenager or thereabouts. He decides to climb a tree, but it's only when he's 20-odd feet in the air that he realizes that he needs a shit. He somehow manages to do so in situ and evacuates onto the ground, at which point the family dog (who I always imagine to be leaping joyfully through tall grass) reappears and cheerfully gobbles up my mate's crap.
******
Later on the family are all sitting around the fireplace, which the dog is lying in front of on a rug. A series of noxious farts are produced by the animal, before it staggers to its feet and vomits copiously. My mate's dad pulls a face, wrinkles up his nose and exclaims "Jesus!"
(apologies for total grossness)
N
nomadologist
Guest
hahahah
Noah Baby Food
Well-known member
that takes the proverbial cake peteUM! If I had a trophy I would give it to you.
Thanks Food!
I'm particularly appreciative because a few years ago I told that story onstage in front of an audience considerably larger than I would normally hope to play to, two or three songs into what seemed to be a gig that was going pretty good, and it didn't really go across very well. According to several friends who were there I killed the atmosphere stone dead, and might as well have dubbed myself "SHIT BOY" for the rest of the show.,
I'm particularly appreciative because a few years ago I told that story onstage in front of an audience considerably larger than I would normally hope to play to, two or three songs into what seemed to be a gig that was going pretty good, and it didn't really go across very well. According to several friends who were there I killed the atmosphere stone dead, and might as well have dubbed myself "SHIT BOY" for the rest of the show.,
nothing like a bit of oedipal trauma and getting compared to the anti-christ-child to cheer you up after a hard day at the office, eh? ;-)haha thanks for making me laugh.bad day at work
I'll say
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Noah Baby Food
Well-known member
hahahahaha! this thread is like (DMX voice) "WHUUUUUTTTTTT!"
Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
EVEN BETTER THAN THAT, the dog could have eaten the boy and then shat him out, next to the original shit...
Which brings to mind:
Q: Did you hear about the cannibal's girlfriend?
A. They weren't getting along, so he dumped her!
barry_abs
lil' beyutch
haha!
decent joke, but check this..
Did you hear jill dando's husband? He wanted to paint the front door purple but she was DEAD AGAINST IT.
mistersloane
heavy heavy monster sound
I heard Diana had blue eyes, one blew out the right window and the other...
I used to have a dog, an adorably cute but deranged terrier cross-breed who would eat anything - e.g I once dropped a glass jar on the kitchen floor, and he snaffled up as much broken glass as he could before I could pick it up, and crunched & swallowed the lot, wagging his tail happily as he did so.
Anyway, he had a particular fondness for discarded cotton wool pad thingies that my girlfriend used to take make-up off, that he'd take out of the bathroom bin given half a chance. These would unwind as they made their way through his intestines, so while out for a walk he would take a dump, which would come out atttached to yards of cotton wool.
The poor critter couldn't remove this from his rear end, so he'd wriggle and shriek/howl/bark and try to get away while I tried to pull yards of shit-on-a-rope out of him, usually on a main road of course. The worst one was when he'd also eaten a black felt tip pen (marker), which had turned the contents of his intestines a radioactive green colour (you wouldn't have thought that black ink would contain such a bright colour), including the shit-on-a-string.
It certainly was a unique twist to the "dog on a string" culture prevalent among new age travellers/crusties at the time (90s), not that I was one of them.
Anyway, he had a particular fondness for discarded cotton wool pad thingies that my girlfriend used to take make-up off, that he'd take out of the bathroom bin given half a chance. These would unwind as they made their way through his intestines, so while out for a walk he would take a dump, which would come out atttached to yards of cotton wool.
The poor critter couldn't remove this from his rear end, so he'd wriggle and shriek/howl/bark and try to get away while I tried to pull yards of shit-on-a-rope out of him, usually on a main road of course. The worst one was when he'd also eaten a black felt tip pen (marker), which had turned the contents of his intestines a radioactive green colour (you wouldn't have thought that black ink would contain such a bright colour), including the shit-on-a-string.
It certainly was a unique twist to the "dog on a string" culture prevalent among new age travellers/crusties at the time (90s), not that I was one of them.