good looking people with stuff.

[swears]

well, i'm not a woman so you'd be better placed to know, but i always thought it was something to do with the fact that every woman gets hit on every single day and the way to stand out from the dorks is to avoid doing the same thing as them.

Yeah, who wants to be "horny dickhead #26" to some harassed girl? mind you, I know fellas who go through dozens of knockbacks, but eventually do meet somebody that likes them, so I suppose that's the logic there.

My ignoring of girls is not a pickup technique anyway, just a way of trying not to look too uncool while being very shy.

 

[Mr. Tea]

and as a man, i'm more interested in women who i have to chase. if a woman chases me i assume theres something wrong with them.

*Benny Hill music*

 

[bassnation]

Yeah, who wants to be "horny dickhead #26" to some harassed girl? mind you, I know fellas who go through dozens of knockbacks, but eventually do meet somebody that likes them, so I suppose that's the logic there.

My ignoring of girls is not a pickup technique anyway, just a way of trying not to look too uncool while being very shy.

yeah, i used to have a french mate who literally propositioned every woman in a club, scores of women would tell him to fuck off but inevitably he always, always went home with an attractive woman. if your skin is thick enough it pays dividends.

 

[Pulchritude]

well, i'm not a woman so you'd be better placed to know, but i always thought it was something to do with the fact that every woman gets hit on every single day and the way to stand out from the dorks is to avoid doing the same thing as them.

Possibly. I don't tend to take guys that I meet in clubs very seriously, anyway. This is usually due to the assumption that most males who go to places like that are all of the same desperate, vacuous ilk. Unfortunately, part of this assumption is also based on most of my male friends, who enjoy going to such places.

and as a man, i'm more interested in women who i have to chase. if a woman chases me i assume theres something wrong with them. i kind of like the idea of being seduced, but really i prefer things the way they are.

Aren't most males like that? I, personally, prefer it that way as I can't think of anything more terrifying than being the one having to do the 'chasing'. Sexually enpowered 21st century female? Not me!

 

[zhao]

Sexually enpowered 21st century female? Not me!

talk to nomad. she'll sort you out

 

[Mr. Tea]

It would be great if more women were more active in this sense, more willing to make the first move.

 

[swears]

Yeah, I've always thought this. Mainly because I'm a coward.

 

[zhao]

Yeah, I've always thought this. Mainly because I'm a coward.

Shyness is nice, and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
That you’d like to

So, if there’s something you’d like to try
If there’s something you’d like to try
Ask me - I won’t say "no" - how could I?

Spending warm summer days indoors
Writing frightening verse
To a buck-toothed girl in luxembourg

Nature is a language - can’t you read ?
Nature is a language - can anybody read ?

Because if it’s not love
Then it’s the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb,
the bomb, the bomb, the bomb
That will bring us together

so you see, the fate of the world is in your hands, swears.

 

[Sick Boy]

Typically how I do things is I bumble along clueless to advances or insinuation, get clued in by one of my mates, over-strategize, execute strategy until boredom or frustration kicks in, and then either walk, or confront directly in one honest brain fart.

It surprisingly works pretty well.

Edit: But then again, I invariably end up with long-term girlfriends, which some people are averse to.

Edit: Also, what usually influences whether I walk or not is whether they are good looking people with stuff. If I've only got good-looking OR stuff to deal with, I can't be bothered most of the time (see: long term girlfriends every time).

 

[petergunn]

I had sex once.

It was all right.

when i was younger, i had a friend who was in his late 30's and had sex like 80 times in his life... he told me this and i was shocked, b/c he was always telling stories about women... i was like "what about the navy wife you were fucking when her husband was at sea?" he replied "yeah, that was 14 times"... shit seemed very strange... never had a long term sexual relationship EVER...

 

[Sick Boy]

when i was younger, i had a friend who was in his late 30's and had sex like 80 times in his life... he told me this and i was shocked, b/c he was always telling stories about women... i was like "what about the navy wife you were fucking when her husband was at sea?" he replied "yeah, that was 14 times"... shit seemed very strange... never had a long term sexual relationship EVER...

The strangest part is that he was counting!

 

[nomadologist]

It would be great if more women were more active in this sense, more willing to make the first move.

Oh but then you get to contend with the "slut" accusations. (Btw I don't believe in "stupid slut" clothing, I don't even know what that means...haven't a clue...a short skirt? stripper clothes?) There is really no social benefit to being aggressive sexually if you're a girl, though I know lots of girls who do it anyway. More power to them.

I actually think most girls looking for casual sex or a more casual relationship prefer a guy who can keep up with the mind-game playing. It's just more fun. It's really tedious to hook up with someone who basically has nothing going on except their horniness and willingness to have vanilla sex now and then. Snore. And most guys are terrible in bed. Just awful. Many seem like they picked up their techniques watching porn, which any sex worker will tell you is purely bogus and not fun for the parties actually involved. It's work. It takes a million shots and careful editing to make it look like someone ejaculated in the process.

 

[nomadologist]

talk to nomad. she'll sort you out

I wouldn't be caught dead "chasing" anyone. I have no interested in being a "sexually aggressive" empowered female, mostly because I don't believe the two have anything to do with one another. Aside from that, nothing sounds more boring than bothering to chase men. It's probably the last thing on my list of "activities worth doing"...

 

[nomadologist]

when i was younger, i had a friend who was in his late 30's and had sex like 80 times in his life... he told me this and i was shocked, b/c he was always telling stories about women... i was like "what about the navy wife you were fucking when her husband was at sea?" he replied "yeah, that was 14 times"... shit seemed very strange... never had a long term sexual relationship EVER...

Sounds kind of like the way someone would talk about sex who rarely had it. Do you think he was lying or exaggerating? Seems like a very high school attitude, to count each time. I couldn't possibly count how many times I've had sex, and I can't think of a good reason why I should want to.

 

[petergunn]

Sounds kind of like the way someone would talk about sex who rarely had it. Do you think he was lying or exaggerating? Seems like a very high school attitude, to count each time. I couldn't possibly count how many times I've had sex, and I can't think of a good reason why I should want to.

no, i am sure he was telling the truth

i could write a lot about this guy, he was a real trip... but, to keep it short, he was missing a few marbles and after i had moved out of town (san diego) he had basically had a meltdown and was living homeless in the park. i swear when i returned to visit a few years later i saw him downtown, walking around with totally vacant eyes... could have been someone else, tho...

but, yeah, he was basically not emotionally developed enough to have a full fledged relationship with a woman, so his sexual experiences were limited to flings, one night stands, hookers, and bar skanks... actually, that is what brought about his breakdown; he hooked up with a demented woman he met in a bar who moved into his trailer with him and proceeded to bleed him dry financially til he lost his savings, home, and business... fucked up...

 

[ripley]

It would be great if more women were more active in this sense, more willing to make the first move.

yes, but..

It's not just the "slut" accusations. It's also that women's sense of self is usually much more bound up in being found attractive. Not only does this encourage women to find validation through being pursued, this means that when women actually make a move, rejection is not just of sex or a drink or whatever, but is kind of felt as a rejection of your value as a human being.

It's hard to have a thick skin about what society constantly tells you is your single most defining trait.

 

[Mr. Tea]

yes, but..

It's not just the "slut" accusations. It's also that women's sense of self is usually much more bound up in being found attractive. Not only does this encourage women to find validation through being pursued, this means that when women actually make a move, rejection is not just of sex or a drink or whatever, but is kind of felt as a rejection of your value as a human being.

It's hard to have a thick skin about what society constantly tells you is your single most defining trait.

So what's to do about it? Women make up half of society, after all, it's not like it's this alien thing that's thrust upon them.

I'm sure most blokes I know would be happy if more women were a bit more forward in this respect, and if the rest is up to how women feel about themselves - well, that's up to how women feel about themselves. Obviously a large part of this is to do with how men see women, or how women think men see them at any rate, but it strikes me that an even bigger part is to do with how women think other women see them.

And (nomad) what the hell is this about how "nearly all men are crap in bed"? Like, all women are naturally brilliant, or something? Like it's the man's 'duty' to ensure sex is amazing every time? If it's that bad, lock yourself away with Rampant Rabbit, a supply of chocolate and a Sex and the City boxset. :slanted:

 

[nomadologist]

Agreed, Ripley. And while women make up 50% of society, they had very little to do with the building up of Western society from a standpoint of political and social power. So there are very many "male-oriented" things about our culture. (The "male gaze" anyone?)

And (nomad) what the hell is this about how "nearly all men are crap in bed"? Like, all women are naturally brilliant, or something? Like it's the man's 'duty' to ensure sex is amazing every time? If it's that bad, lock yourself away with Rampant Rabbit, a supply of chocolate and a Sex and the City boxset. :slanted:

I have no idea how good women are in bed at large. I like women well enough. In my experience they are much better in bed than men are, even though if I had to choose I would probably say I'd prefer a guy based on looks if he's good looking enough. And yes, I think as a lover it is your duty to please the other person. Otherwise what is the fucking point?

I have no interest in watching Sex and the City. Guh I hate that show. I assume Rampant Rabbit is a vibrator. No interest in that either. Chocolate? Is ok I guess. Not the biggest fan of sweets.

 

[zhao]

well i've just come back from a very disappointing night. me and my buddy went out with these 2 girls who seemed like they were down, but turned out to be clueless morons. I'm just glad I hailed a taxi at 3 AM and didn't waste any more time with the bullshit.

most people are fakes and don't know what's good. and if you are lucky enough to find some real ones in the haystack, hold on to them. rare like unicorns in a field of donkeys.

 

[nomadologist]

no, i am sure he was telling the truth

i could write a lot about this guy, he was a real trip... but, to keep it short, he was missing a few marbles and after i had moved out of town (san diego) he had basically had a meltdown and was living homeless in the park. i swear when i returned to visit a few years later i saw him downtown, walking around with totally vacant eyes... could have been someone else, tho...

but, yeah, he was basically not emotionally developed enough to have a full fledged relationship with a woman, so his sexual experiences were limited to flings, one night stands, hookers, and bar skanks... actually, that is what brought about his breakdown; he hooked up with a demented woman he met in a bar who moved into his trailer with him and proceeded to bleed him dry financially til he lost his savings, home, and business... fucked up...

One of those...kind of sad...I bump into lots of these types and I can't help but feel sorry for them.