The press release hall of shame thread

SecondLine

Well-known member
"house of angels have amongst themselves played for..."

they're probably all session musicians who get booked individually for glossy bullshit functions
 

STN

sou'wester
What happens when you put Sheffield’s shredtastic answer to Eddie Van Halen, a frontman that oozes machismo and proletariat street cool in a way that makes Liam Gallagher look like a public school educated effeminate fanny in comparison and a rhythm section that’s tighter than your mother was when I took her virginity all those years ago? I’ll tell you what happens, it’s called Shot Dead and it’s even better than receiving fellatio from the beautifully pert lips and wet mouth of Angelina Jolie.



With their onstage nonchalant Nihilism and a steadfast sense of self- confidence so strong it’d be all too easy to dismiss these guys as aloof and aggressive, you may even fear that you’d “just get a slap” from them if you were brave enough to attend one of their frenetic live shows. Indeed, such apprehension wouldn’t be *completely* misplaced… they could knock seven shades of shit out of you if they felt so inclined. These kids don’t fuck about. However in spite of this unnerving fact they are the antithesis generally speaking; quintessential English gentlemen, you’d struggle to meet four more grounded, humble and affable young men. Take it from me; it’s a genuine pleasure spending time in their company.

I implore everyone who reads this to attend their gigs and see for yourselves how raw and incandescent they are live. There’s a distinct and natural synergy when they play that bands 20 plus years their senior can’t hold a candle to. Fuck the monotonous and insincere mediocrity of the likes of Glasvegas, the Courteeners and Kasabian. Shot Dead represent the zeitgeist of UK lad culture better than they ever could.
 

rrrivero

Well-known member
l.jpg


Sheffield’s shredtastic answer to Eddie Van Halen, a frontman that oozes machismo and proletariat street cool
 

Blackdown

nexKeysound
how can you possibly possibly be both "quintessential English gentlemen" and "ooze machismo and proletariat street cool in a way that makes Liam Gallagher look like a public school educated effeminate fanny?"
 

STN

sou'wester
how can you possibly possibly be both "quintessential English gentlemen" and "ooze machismo and proletariat street cool in a way that makes Liam Gallagher look like a public school educated effeminate fanny?"

I sort of imagine they mean diamond geezers who are nice to their mums or something.
 

STN

sou'wester
I also like the idea that you'd be passionately looking for something that was merely a bit better than Glasvegas.
 

Blackdown

nexKeysound
Good to see Justina (?) has preserved her love for music, uncontaminated by commercial forces as well as her self esteem...

JUSTINA DEBUTS HIP HOP JOAN JETT VIDEO; BOOKED FOR WARPED TOUR 2012, ALTERNATIVE PRESS STAGE

New York, NY- May 2012- Recording artist, songwriter, rapper and vocalist Justina debuts the new video for her single, Hip Hop Joan Jett. The Hip Hop Joan Jett single is off her forthcoming mix tape, Route 80, which is dropping this spring. The Route 80 mix tape is produced by multi-platinum producers Shy Boogs, JR Rotem & Mr Lee, with a feature from Atlantic Recording artist Maino. Her video debuts just weeks after the 2012 Vans Warped Tour announced Justina as a performer on the tour. She will be performing the East Coast leg of the tour on the Alternative Press stage.

Hip Hop Joan Jett exposes Justina's Rock n Roll persona and fashion sense with "Chains hangin' down everywhere", while also capturing her Hip Hop essence and undeniable swagger. The self proclaimed Hip Hop Joan Jett tells us she loves "Rock N Roll, drugs, and rough sex. This edgy video is a follow up to her first single off the Route 80 mix tape, Bubble Gum, which playfully displayed her confectionary fetish.

Justina's original music has been featured on popular television shows such as NBC's Steven Spielberg directed Smash, VH1's Mobwives, MTV's True Life, and Oxygen Network's Running Russel Simmons. Justina's Hard To The Body video appeared on Spike TV's Top 100 YouTube Videos.

She has appeared on the back of Cheerios' boxes across the country by winning a songwriting contest focused on bringing about change for those less fortunate. She also donates her time to the non-profit organization Pinups for Pitbulls, and appears in their 2011 calendar. Pinups for Pitbulls focuses on Pit Bull rescue and community education.

Justina is currently touring the country with Conquer Entertainment, the music division of Shop.com, promoting her project and upcoming Shop.com product release. Shop.com is a shopping comparison website that offers the most comprehensive shopping experience on the web.
 

Webstarr

Well-known member
Good to see Justina (?) has preserved her love for music, uncontaminated by commercial forces as well as her self esteem...

JUSTINA DEBUTS HIP HOP JOAN JETT VIDEO; BOOKED FOR WARPED TOUR 2012, ALTERNATIVE PRESS STAGE

New York, NY- May 2012- Recording artist, songwriter, rapper and vocalist Justina debuts the new video for her single, Hip Hop Joan Jett. The Hip Hop Joan Jett single is off her forthcoming mix tape, Route 80, which is dropping this spring. The Route 80 mix tape is produced by multi-platinum producers Shy Boogs, JR Rotem & Mr Lee, with a feature from Atlantic Recording artist Maino. Her video debuts just weeks after the 2012 Vans Warped Tour announced Justina as a performer on the tour. She will be performing the East Coast leg of the tour on the Alternative Press stage.

Hip Hop Joan Jett exposes Justina's Rock n Roll persona and fashion sense with "Chains hangin' down everywhere", while also capturing her Hip Hop essence and undeniable swagger. The self proclaimed Hip Hop Joan Jett tells us she loves "Rock N Roll, drugs, and rough sex. This edgy video is a follow up to her first single off the Route 80 mix tape, Bubble Gum, which playfully displayed her confectionary fetish.

Justina's original music has been featured on popular television shows such as NBC's Steven Spielberg directed Smash, VH1's Mobwives, MTV's True Life, and Oxygen Network's Running Russel Simmons. Justina's Hard To The Body video appeared on Spike TV's Top 100 YouTube Videos.

She has appeared on the back of Cheerios' boxes across the country by winning a songwriting contest focused on bringing about change for those less fortunate. She also donates her time to the non-profit organization Pinups for Pitbulls, and appears in their 2011 calendar. Pinups for Pitbulls focuses on Pit Bull rescue and community education.

Justina is currently touring the country with Conquer Entertainment, the music division of Shop.com, promoting her project and upcoming Shop.com product release. Shop.com is a shopping comparison website that offers the most comprehensive shopping experience on the web.

That last paragraph is pure gold
 

Blackdown

nexKeysound
Here_We_Go_Album_Artwork.jpg


Here We Go

An Original Produced By TYR and Rodway

Jamming Melodic Dubstep For You


This track, entitled 'Here We Go' is a clear indication of professional production level and dramatic improvement over the past year by both artists involved.

TYR opens for Mt. Eden Dubstep in Denver, CO May 27th.
 

outraygeous

Well-known member
Avalanche/Eskimo Dance sent me an email with no BBC and then just sent me a cringe worthy press release

Oh and a txt

Killing it
 
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