Boozeless cold remedies

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
If you're losing weight it's because you're using up more calories than you're eating. If you want to lose weight, great, but you can't stay on that diet forever because you can't lose weight indefinitely: the only conclusion is that your fruit/veg diet wasn't supplying you with enough energy to maintain your weight. So it's certainly not "giving you loads of energy" (even if the increased consumption of vitamins, fibre, fruit sugars etc. may have made you feel more 'energetic', which is great, so long as you're not wasting away). In fact, it could be that the energetic-ness you were feeling was coming from your body's fat deposits that were being burned up.
 

Slothrop

Tight but Polite
Yup, good scotch; freshly squeezed lemon juice; plenty of sugar and boiling, boiling water, and then a duvet, bed, and a good book. Flu is great, who wants to go to work anyway?
I tend to go for honey, lemon, boiling water, white rum and a pinch of nutmeg and / or cinnamon. It clears my nose a bit and also puts me in a better frame of mind regarding the whole situation.
 

zhao

there are no accidents
If you're losing weight it's because you're using up more calories than you're eating. If you want to lose weight, great, but you can't stay on that diet forever because you can't lose weight indefinitely: the only conclusion is that your fruit/veg diet wasn't supplying you with enough energy to maintain your weight. So it's certainly not "giving you loads of energy" (even if the increased consumption of vitamins, fibre, fruit sugars etc. may have made you feel more 'energetic', which is great, so long as you're not wasting away). In fact, it could be that the energetic-ness you were feeling was coming from your body's fat deposits that were being burned up.

yeah. and the energy also comes from just being a CLEAN MACHINE. y'know? without all that DIRT and BULLSHIT weighing me down. instead just flooding the body with useful, green stuff.

it was incredible - my skin cleared up, my muscle tone was amazing, i could concentrate on shit much better and longer, mind was crisp sharp... felt a million bucks.

gonna do it again. but it's much harder without living with someone who is doing it with you... i tried about a month ago and lasted 5 days.
 

zhao

there are no accidents
First, are you reading what I actually said about fasting? What I said actually CONFIRMS your anecdotal experience, rather than denying it.

no.

1. you have been trying to explain my increased energy levels during the fast through a chemically induced sense of elation or euphoria, thus denying A. that i had ACTUAL higher levels of energy and B. that this is caused by avoiding solid food.

2. you have been trying to dismiss the benefits i receive from herbal supplements with "placebo effect". which is groundless.

3. you have been insinuating that i pay a bullshitter $500 per week to receive bullshit. which is A. false, B. fabricated, C. intended to redicule, mock, and discredit, and D. entirely the product of your prejudices and stereotypical thinking.

Second, I am not groundlessly invalidating anything based on "stereotypes" or "prejudices", I am disagreeing with the idea that homeopathy is scientifically legitimate.

who said anything about homeopathy?

all i know is what i know from direct personal experience -- which just so happened to confirm a lot of things i used to think is "new age bullshit" (just like you).
__________________________________________________________

pretty convenient time for Nomad to dissappear from the discussion, don't you think? ;)

come on, it's okay to admit that you have prejudices against herbal medicine, natural healing, fasting/cleansing or any number of things which you file under "new age bullshit".

vast majority of people on earth have these prejudices / are stuck with old and false ideas about their own bodies. and loads of them super intellegent. like Zizek for instance, who is entirely stuck in his super unhealthy destructive steaks-and-potatoes diet, while dismissing the health movement in California as "new age bullshit".

what I am into is actually far from that -- it is based on common sense, just not the false common sense most people are full of:

1. our bodies are very smart machines.

2. if given the chance, it can clean itself and regulate it's own functions.

3. the way to give it this chance is through fasting -- after the stomach has been empty of solids for a period of time (generally 5 days), it begins to purge waste from its system -- like cleaning the engine of a car. (this is why it is very common for people who fast to have significant bowl movements after 5 days. i have heard instances where people take a HUGE dump 20 days into it)

4. fasting is also about flooding the body with exactly what it needs (fresh organic vitamins and minerals), at the same time cutting out things that clog up, toxifies, and taxes the system (carcenogen inducing food).

5. a combination of all of these processes allows the body to perform at optimum levels.

6. the commonly accepted diet (in rich countries at least) includes WAY too much cooked animal protein, too much fats and sugars, and not nearly enough fresh, organic vegetables. and that this has a myriad of disastrous consequences / gives rise to a wide range of illnesses.

7. the commonly accepted diet, 3 meals a day, is simply too much food -- human bodies actually need much less than that ((some say food about the size of your fist each day is a good amount) -- and that this drains energy, and causes low level performance.


now how the hell is that "unscientific"? i don't give a rat's ass what "science" or established mainstream doctors say. the above not only makes sense on logical as well as intuitive levels, but i know it works from undeniable first hand experience. so fuck the rest. I will speak the truth the way i have found it.
 

martin

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Ditch the boozeless - pour some whiskey into a mug, add boiling water and a teaspoon of sugar, drink and retire to bed with a jumper on. You'll wake up feeling great and have some exciting dreams along the way. Anyone who disputes this cure doesn't know what (s)he's talking about.

Most doctors agree that a vindaloo helps, but it's an expensive remedy - try chopping an onion instead to get your mucus flowing.

I also know a witchdoctor ritual that necessitates wrapping the patient up in blankets and striking them with sticks while invoking fire dogs to chase out the germs.
 

STN

sou'wester
My usual remedies do involve whiskey and vindaloo but this cold has them licked (which perhaps means it's bird flu).

Does it have to be a specific sort of blanket/stick or do you think a duvet and a mop from the poundshop would do? Also there are no fire dogs round my way, so it'll have to be a stupid cat or one of Stoke Newington's exceptionally giant foxes.

After the ginger Tea/chicken soup method I feel 50% better than I did yesterday.
 

martin

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Does it have to be a specific sort of blanket/stick or do you think a duvet and a mop from the poundshop would do? Also there are no fire dogs round my way, so it'll have to be a stupid cat or one of Stoke Newington's exceptionally giant foxes.

A duvet's OK, but not the mop. I'm talking a hard wooden stick covered in symbols, I've got a couple I made from a wardrobe frame, also the fire dogs are conjured up inside you, there's no real animals involved, the only drawback is it sometimes causes aural bleeding if things go too far, it's also best to be near a bonfire
 

STN

sou'wester
A duvet's OK, but not the mop. I'm talking a hard wooden stick covered in symbols, I've got a couple I made from a wardrobe frame,

Can it be quite a thick duvet? This isn't going to be a Gilles de Rais scenario is it, where you chuck a duvet over my head, give me a pasting with your sigil-covered cudgel and then claim that the devil appeared and did it and that's why I still have a cold and am covered in bruises and by the way I owe you 600 ducats?
 

STN

sou'wester
The bloodthirsty old nonce wasn't directly involved in the stick incident - that was a court magician who he hired who then immediately locked himself in the cupboard, gave himself a few whacks with a stick and then claimed he'd been attacked by the devil and could he have his money please*...

*why do I bloody know this? I could have watched two episodes of the Professionals in the time it took me to find out about this tale.
 

martin

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You're hoping this post will be admissable as evidence in your defence at the trial, aren't you?


I only took part because the issue of child murder makes me so angry, I needed to confront it head-on. I wanted to write a book to expose the French perverts who tear childrens' entrails from their stomachs, and the only way to get a proper first-hand account was to partake in the demented activities myself. I derived no satisfaction from these slayings - indeed, it was as if I was ripping myself apart most of the time. I grew up in a dungeon where I was eviscerated in 1437, so if anyone knows the plight of these kids, it's me.
 

martin

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Oh yeah, you can always try to wank the germs away - there's a significant concentration of them in seminal fluid
 

martin

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Funnily enough, I still have that album. I was wondering the other day whether to get rid of it as I never listen to it anymore. What do you reckon - should I keep hold of it, just in case?
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
Funnily enough, I still have that album. I was wondering the other day whether to get rid of it as I never listen to it anymore. What do you reckon - should I keep hold of it, just in case?

I quite like that record, although I don't own it. Do you live in London? If you do, hang on to it and in the event of me ever turning up to a Dissensus pub-meet I'll buy you if off you for a couple of pints...
 

STN

sou'wester
I prefer to give old CDs away in a bag of shame whenever I have a party, which is how my girlfriend's sister came to have a copy of the first Meteors album to use as a coaster.

Funnily enough, most of the albums I distribute in this fashion end up left in a polite little stack by the front door so Mr Tea can I interest you in a copy of Family Man by Black Flag? It's um, really wicked, honestly.
 

mms

sometimes
i tried going to work bolstered up on waking up feeling a bit better but sounding like davros, but it really doesn't work like that, you can't cheat it, so i came home, defeated.
 
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